Feminist Parenting of Boys MAY Bookclub: Jenni Murray's "That's My Boy!"

[blackcurrants]

Looking forward to our discussion on Wednesday, 18th May at, erm - when do people fancy? sometime after the kids are in bed?
7pm? 8pm? I'm five hours behind you all, but around then would work for me, too.

tougholdbird - don't be hard on yourself - my guess is you were just doing that because you were frustrated at DH's refusal to pick up smelly socks and making a joke out of it is preferable to nagging him every other minute of the day. That certainly was the way for me and ex-DH (but don't worry it wasn't the smelly socks that did us in!)

oooh you should read "Shattered: Modern Motherhood and the illusion of equality" by Rebecca Asher (also from Woman's Hour) as she has quite a bit on that dilemma (although she also criticizes Mumsnet - sacrilege!!).

Hee hee ! Yeah, I wasn't taken over with quite the same violent urges as you - but parts like that were definitely annoying! But sometimes I think that some feminist authors are so afraid to seem anti-male that they overcompensate with slightly wacky theories. Or maybe that is my wacky theory!

Have to go to beddie byes now - early start - nice to chat to you all - would love to do Delusions of Gender next if anyone was up for it - as that was a cracker of a book..

What are other suggestions for the next book. I think someone suggested Pink Brain, Blue Brain. Amazon suggested:

growing great boys

Playful parenting

Raising Cain

Raising sons this looks Biddulphesque and irritating

raising boys without men

Bringing up boys Again Bidduplhesque?.

21st century boys reviews say harsh on feminists.

The cleverness of boys

Toxic Childhood

Anyone got any opinions or recommendations on any of these?

I've read toxic childhood. really liked it until the chapter which slags off single mothers, was so pissed off I refused to read the rest of it!

Toxic Childhood v useful read

'night all

I'm really sad I missed this, and promise sincerely to resurrect this thread when I've finally got my copy and read it myself. Reading all your thoughts on it makes me v. interested, specially the education section. DH teaches middle school and is fascinating about how he thinks boys and girls even out at that age, certainly I teach 18 year olds (Freshers) and find them equally likely to talk in class and work hard (big development from the eighties, when studies found women much less likely to get class 'airtime' than men in ivy league colleges - and it's being looked at carefully by many of us profs and instructors, all the time) - so I would like to see some studies on earlier education (specially if they're rendered accessible to someone who reads all day but is tired when reading at night!)

Let's have a vote to sort out next month's book soon, shall we, then we'll be all prepared?

sue palmer (toxic childhood and 21st c boys) did an mn webchat 17 mar 10. she had a couple of interesting things to say (re the mn campaign about sexualisation of girls - there should also be one against the brutalisation of boys) but seems to be quite a fan of steve biddulph.

mad I can't remember now what I asked - maybe something about whether she'd got any buy-in from any politicians...

blackcurrants sorry you missed it too. And w/r/t toxic childhood something with a more feminist slant prob better for next read.

Sorry I missed the chat - I wasn't able to get hold of the book. Hope to join in next time and have enjoyed reading the comments about this one.

So then, what shall we read next? Would people like a bit more time in advance before the next one? (eg prepare now for one in July, so we have more than 2 weeks to get and read the book!)

It's difficult - just reading the Amazon precis of most those on the list above was irritating, they seem to be mostly based on the 'boys brains are different' premise.

The exception is presumably Pink Brain blue brain, but I wonder whether it has anything new over and above Delusions of Gender?

Has anyone read both and if so is PB BB worth a read?

I've just ordered Delusions of Gender - I can see I'm going to need it - and I'm about 1/4 of the way through "That's My Boy!" at the moment, (sneakily reading while should be cleaning up) and it's really a fun read. I'm glad we had this as a first pick, very friendly stuff. I agree with the poster who mentioned that it's a bit like she asked her mates for their opinions and then included them as if they were case studies, but her writing style is so pleasant that I don't mind much. I'm not looking for academic rigour perhaps, is what I mean.

I also like what she's saying about boys getting horrible messages about 'toughening up' and not having any feelings. This is a lot of what Raising Cain seems to be about, too - feminism 102: The Patriarchy Hurts Men too.