Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Feminist analysis of the royal wedding

593 replies

DontdoitKatie · 29/04/2011 11:08

This is one of the times when you realise how very lonely seeing things through a feminist lens can make you.

Patriarchy in all its glory.

OP posts:
InmaculadaConcepcion · 02/05/2011 19:09

LOL at "ninja nuns"!

KatieMiddleton · 02/05/2011 19:14

I see Smile It's still a load of old bollox isn't it. Bit like women obeying and husbands sharing all their worldly goods because they're not allowed their own.

Just seems so odd in 21st centuary

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/05/2011 19:16

Grin - hocuspontas

I think love honour and respect might have done!

noblegiraffe · 02/05/2011 19:32

Ooh, another sexist thing that annoys me about the Royal family - that an eldest daughter of a monarch can only become queen if she doesn't have any younger brothers - they would automatically succeed the throne before she would even though she's older. She would be an heir presumptive, but a first born male would be an heir apparent.

There is a suggestion that this will be changed in the future. About bloody time.

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 19:47

Time Wasting - my marriage isn't a cage. Speak for yourself.

HandDivedScallops - it wasn't the Church defining it - it was me. What's wrong with going back to the root of a word to see what it means?

By the way - it wasn't a feminist marriage - it was a love marriage. Fortunately I have a completely equal marriage - I do give birth but he can't help not being able to do all the things I can do. I'm sorry for those of you that think of it as a cage. Clearly involved with less evolved humans.

TimeWasting · 02/05/2011 19:54

Lucky, you said "promising to listen in exchange for being worshipped seemed to favour the woman rather than the man" and that's what sprang to mind. Being worshipped, but not listened to? Hardly an equal marriage.
I don't know about you, but I'm not a goddess, I'm a woman whose husband listens to her.

SybilBeddows · 02/05/2011 20:04

are you trying to imply feminist marriages aren't love marriages? wtf?

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/05/2011 20:05

LuckyWeKeptTheCot - you wrote that the vicar said that??

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:07

Oh dear. I hardly a goddess either - but I'm sure you know the term 'worship' isn't reserved for deities - it can just as easily mean to hold someone in high regard and I'm sure your DH must do that however you putter on about semantics. My husband listens to me too - we run a business and home as equals so we listen to each other - but the marriage ceremony would go on for hours if you tried to cover all the good points at once. Basically, I'm an independent woman who had the kind of wedding I wanted. Can't imagine we're that different in that respect.

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:07

Wish I'd thought of having an avenue of trees though. Very expensive but looks great.

dittany · 02/05/2011 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

madwomanintheattic · 02/05/2011 20:12

still fascinated by what you said lucky 'it wasn't a feminist marriage - it was a love marriage. fortunately i have a completely equal marriage -'

isn't a completely equal marriage a feminist marriage? or were you talking purely from the ceremony pov? you had a patriarchal ceremny, but you have an equal (anf therefore feminist?) relationship?

(not picking a fight - just curious.)

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:14

Verb 1. obey - be obedient to

heed, listen, mind - pay close attention to; give heed to; "Heed the advice of the old men"

Or did you miss that definition out to suit your argument? I used it to suit mine so can't judge you for that really. Also - by your definition - I agree that following someone's commands would be uncomfortable - luckily I knew I wasn't marrying someone who would issue any. But following someone's guidance isn't always a bad thing - it's what half the people on MN are looking for after all. Don't think I've said anything strange. But each to her own.

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:17

Don't know. I married in a church where my parents were married because I wanted to feel close to them even thought they were dead. I don't think of an equal marriage as feminist particularly - just reasonable and caring. But call it that if you like. By 'feminist marriage' I meant the actual ceremony not the whole life. Anyway - got to go now - DH is outside bringing the washing in and I am called by my stampeding children.

ChristinedePizan · 02/05/2011 20:17

If you're not remotely interested in a feminist analysis of the royal wedding LuckyWeKept (and it doesn't sound like you are), why are you on this thread? I'm not that interested in your wedding, I'd like to discuss the one on Friday, thanks.

brandnewme · 02/05/2011 20:33

Bloody hell....I'm astounded at some of the posts on here

Posh 'forcing' herself into heels when pregnant...you;re not telling me someone made her wear those shoes Hmm

Kate being walked down the aisle by her father...so what, plenty of mothers walk their daughters down the aisle and some walk themselves.

Kate and Diana....no comparison...Di was 19, Kate and William met at Uni and have been together (and split) for over 8 years so I very much doubt she's been pushed into this marriage.

I find the 'one wedding ring' slightly odd, but then my dad has never had a wedding ring, despite 30 years of marriage to my mm - dueto the fact he doesn;t wear and doesn;t like jewellery - simple as that...no sinister reason behind it.

Only a male doing a reading - it was her one a only brother - her one and only sister was chief bridesmaid....what's the problem?? I had my BIL do a reading at our wedding...because I love him and thought he'd do a cracking job - which he did. Nothing to do with male or female Hmm

Feminism is one thing but I really think some people are reading too much into some of this.......

If you don't like weddings, or religion then fair enough...each to their own, but lets not slag them off but wish 2 young people well in thier life together.

jjkm · 02/05/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jjkm · 02/05/2011 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

garlicbutter · 02/05/2011 20:40

jjkim, the ring is a symbolic shackle. I'm not making that up, it really is. So, given that we're wedded (heh) to the tradition, it's more 'equalist' for both spouses to wear one.

It is true that some people find it very irritating to wear jewellery; given that William doesn't wear any rings, I'll buy that one.

I am so not getting any further into this thread, though!

meditrina · 02/05/2011 20:42

Christine: presumably she's on this thread as it's on an open Internet forum, and she wanted to post some alternate interpretations of the symbolism of marriage. Adding further examples to a discussion is also normal.

It's easy to be seen as intolerant if you attack the poster, not the substance of the post, and that would be unfortunate and I' m sure it wasn't your intention.

It would however be more interesting to look how language change can actually hinder interpretation. The narrowing of the word "to obey" (to omit the "heeding" version) is an interesting example - especially as the trade off seems to have been "share" for "endow" - a significantly worse deal in terms of property.

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:42

ChristinedePizan. What's the difference you have no idea who I am - and I'd guess you're no more closely involved with the total strangers whose wedding you'd rather discuss. I was answering other posters on here who clearly have taken an interest in my wedding. That's the way threads go sometimes. And do me a favour "A feminist analysis of the Royal Wedding"!!! This thread is just another chance to talk about the thing dressed up as a serious discussion. Quite delusional.

LuckyWeKeptTheCot · 02/05/2011 20:46

jjkm - where I originally came into this is that I wear and ring and DH doesn't. This is because he has skinny fingers and big knuckles and cant get a ring that fits over his knuckle without it being too big. I chose to wear my mother's because it meant something to me. It wasn't suppoed to turn into a discussion of my marriage actually but was just an example of why sometimes apparently symbolic things might be purely practical. I haven't had a good look at William's fingers so not suggesting this was the case here - just saying things aren't always the way it seems. By the way DH wants to wear a ring too but looked at spring loaded ones and they were crap. So he had a watch instead.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 02/05/2011 20:47

Lucky - I can't find your definition of obey - only dittany's. I can find your definition for the word "heed" though. But that isn't what you said. And you also wrote that the vicar said that you had promised to listen to his opinions. And unless he is redefining obey as that, it also isn't what you said in your vows.

madwomanintheattic · 02/05/2011 20:49

it is sort of linked though cdep, by asking whether it is possible to have an equal relationship post this sort of ceremony? i'd argue that in lucky's case, yes, but in friday's case, no. for all of the other reasons discussed. (and am ignoring the desire to deliberately antaginise feminist mates)

unless, unless, oo, i don't know, is there a way that the d of c can redeem herself now? i feel a bit sorry for her - anyone on mn who says 'i can't work because dh and his family won't like it' i tell to work anyway. but anyone on mn that says 'dh supports me in everything i do and i want to stay at home and raise babies because i think it's vitally important for their future' i'd say that was ok too.

i think i'm uncomfortable because it's being held up as the shining ideal of womanhood - catching your prince, birthing his babies, and living happily ever after in pretty dresses. i don't actually have anything in particular against women who fall in love with men who are loaded per se. and he seems like a fairly ordinary chap, if you get rid of the entourage.

re posh and becks - interesting thought sgm... i still think she's only still allowed to be visible now because of who she married though, so whatever they call her is only defined in terms of who her husband is. (that's garbled bollocks, i mean if she wasn't married to david beckham she wouldn't have been invited at all, or have any column inches devoted to her or her designs) and she also provides us with a good role model, eh? dutiful baby birthing, and standing by your man even if he shags around. (notwithstanding monogamy discussion) i'd probably wear black and scowl too. Wink

ChristinedePizan · 02/05/2011 20:49

You came on here and started talking about how you wanted to be given away by your dad lucky. That's not 'getting involved in the discussion' as far as I can see.

Yes of course anyone can post on here, I'm not saying that you can't. But the title of the thread is 'Feminist analysis of the royal wedding' so forgive me for not having a whole lot of patience when you don't seem to be interested in discussing that subject at all.

Swipe left for the next trending thread