Re-posted from AIBU

[changingmynameagain]

I am re-posting this here on the advice of thefinerthings - hope you won't all laugh at me but this really really got up my nose.

Backstory - am looking to get a pop up tent - how boring.

Anyway, stockists locally are a major sports/camping retailer.

I was on the website looking to find out if they had the tent I wanted in stock to go and buy it, but also so that they could demonstrate it to me - how it goes up and down.

Anyway, I'm on the website filling in the "contact us" form and the only options for "Title" are

Mr

Mrs

Miss

Now, call me pedantic but I'm divorced, so I'm not a Mrs. I'm not a never married so I'm not a Miss.

There was NO OPTION for Ms.

For some reason this really got my goat and in the comments box of the page I actually typed

"Oh and for your information there's no option in your title box for Ms. I am divorced, therefore I am not a Mrs. I was married, therefore I am not a Miss. Please could you get some of your IT boffins to insert the option for Ms. In this day and age, I think it is unfair that the only options available on the form for a woman to have as a title refer to her marital status."

And yes, I know it's trivial but it got right up my nose.

Fair play to you. You are right imo.

As I said on the other thread, I might not want to be an ANYTHING iyswim

Mr doesn't refer to marital status, so why they feel the need to label a woman by hers... GRRRRRR

If marital status is irrelevant, why are you telling them yours?
Just put nothing.If people phone me and ask about marital status i either say 'Mr' (I am a woman) or say 'You decide'

There wasn't an option for ms - so I had to put something.

I suppose I should've said my marital status was irrelevant but I didn't think to put it like that til I had sent the form.

I am married, but prefer Ms. I would also be irritated about that.

You're right. For unimportant things, I pick at random.

I wish I had thought to put Mr tbh

The title field was a compulsory field so I didn't even have an option to leave it!

they've sent an email acknowledgement that they've received the query so it will be interesting to see what transpires

please let us know what they say OP

I will. I'm fuming, and normally stuff like this doesn't bother me, but this has really got my hackles up

YANBU.

I have had a short email reply from James at Decathalon to say that they have the tent in stock and he has sent my query (huh?) reference my title to the IT people at head office.

I replied Thanks James I'll be down in the next few days to look at the tent. I am genuinely puzzled as to why my marital status is relevant to my ability to purchase a tent

He started the email Dear Miss changing

Even though I said in the original email I was a Ms

GRRRRR

And sighs

This irritates me too. Why should it matter what my marital status is? As you say one is a Mr once you reach majority whether or not one is married.

I'm lucky as I just use 'Dr' most of the time but it still pisses me right off.

Oh and the other thing is surnames... I know this gets done to death but why should a woman's identity be erased when she gets married and replaced with a different one?

It was something I never really though of until I realised that there are many women I went to school with who I wouldn't 'recognise' by name.

I should probably come clean here though and admit that I pick and choose which name I use (along with which title) depending on the scenario.

I use the one that is most advantageous to me at the time

Mummy - there wasn't an option for Rev/Dr/Lord/Lady either!

I await further developments.....

Was tempted to see how many Mnetters I could round up to email them but that would be petty

This irritates me too, A charity worker in the stree once tried to stop me by saying "excuse me miss..."
I replied "I am in fact a Ms"
and he said
"Oh but you look far too young to be divorced..."
I was but told him that in my case "ms" was irrlevant to marital status I just did not agree with a title referring only to my Marital Status.
I thought Ms was also whe someone refused to give/or did not acknowledge these constriants.
Do most people use it to convey divorced?

and

I am divorced, so that's why I changed from Mrs BUT Mrs never sat easily with me.

I hated my married named (even when I was happily married) and really wish I'd kept my maiden name.

having said that, I got married 20-odd years ago when it was just the done thing to change your name.

I wouldn't change now if I ever got married again.

I don't see why we can't have Ms once you're an adult and stick with it, like blokes do with Mr

Not surprised you were annoyed, I am definitely adopting the use of "Mr" or whatever seems funniest from the drop down list.

When men don't understand what this is about I offer to address them as Married Williamson or Unmarried Cameron or whatever.

I have to say that this woul dhave annoyed me so much that I probably would have e-mailed them and gone and bought a tent elsewhere.

I tend to just boycott sites that only have Mrs or Miss.

I bought something off a website based in France last week and was about to get in a strop that their only choices were Mr, Mrs or Dr, but then I realised there was no Miss - it was just the French translating Madame as generic adult female, so I forgave them.