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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

My husband talked my 3yr old DS out of choosing pink crocs..

38 replies

howdidthishappenthen · 20/04/2011 14:19

... and this saddens me. Pink is his favourite colour, and I'd said he could have them. Then DH picked up a pair with him whilst I wasn't there and he comes back with army camo ones. Why does it have to be such a big deal if a preschool boy likes pink ffs? DH is great generally about equality stuff, but has a thing about boys and pink. Sigh. Anyway - not really a point to this post apart from to share in the hope others might see why I'm disappointed. Noone I know IRL would see my point of view at all :-)

OP posts:
nickelbaalamb · 20/04/2011 14:20

I am with you, how .
it's just a fucking colour!

what is it with men??

mosschops30 · 20/04/2011 14:21

I dont see your pov at all either, in fact your post made me lol.
Think you need something to fill your life with instead of harping on about your ds not getting pink crocs

ChristinedePizan · 20/04/2011 14:22

I'd be really pissed off and take them back if your DS hasn't worn them yet. Children have so little control over their lives that allowing them to choose something in their favourite colour is really important.

And that's in addition to the ridiculous behaviour of your husband re pink and boys. Is he worried they'll make your DS gay or something?

WorzselMummage · 20/04/2011 14:22

My DS has currently got bright pink toe nails, he loves pink too !

Camo crocs are much sadder on a 3 year old than pink anyway :(

Original poster
howdidthishappenthen · 20/04/2011 14:24

He's worn them, he likes them just fine, it's no biggy. But each time we'd walked past the crocs shop he'd asked specifically for pink and I don't see why that had to be the ONLY colour he wasn't allowed. Would have been handy for his sisters too - at the moment 9/10ths of her hand-me-downs are blues or neutrals!

OP posts:
cece · 20/04/2011 14:26

My 7 and half year old is currently wearing a pink t-shirt and pink socks. 'Tis the fashion, don't you know? He is very 'boyish' and really into rugby, football and so on! Plys he practically begged me to get him some pink clothes.

tortilla · 20/04/2011 15:49

I don't even think it is about the pink, it is about overriding your DS's choice. I think it's really important to give young children choice in non-important things like what colour clothes they wear because so much of their lives are decided for them, and they will have even less freedom to choose things like clothes in the future as societal 'rules' come into play. If you had said he could choose, then your DH needed to honour that regardless of what he thought about your DS's choice.

nickelbaalamb · 20/04/2011 15:51

exactly, tortilla.

and I bet there'd be a hck of a lot more boys walking roundin pink clothes if their dads weren't so stupid.

noodle69 · 20/04/2011 15:57

DS walking around in pink fine. You see all boys in pink things nowadays, no big deal. However any person either grown up or a child wearing crocs is wrong, wrong, wrong Wink

nickelbaalamb · 20/04/2011 15:58
Grin
ousel · 20/04/2011 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts · 20/04/2011 16:02

I'm with you OP.

In fact I had the exact same thought a few hours ago.

I had an electrician in and he was telling me about the train set he bought his neice. She really liked Thomas Tank Engine but he tried to talk her out of it and get her a disney princess set. Why? Just why? Can't girls like Thomas Tank?

Gemjar · 20/04/2011 16:09

My DH is exactly the same, he's brilliant in most other equality issues, but for some reason he has this thing against pink. I must admit I don't particularly like the colour either and would usually choose it for myself but DH seems positively offended by it. If either of my DS's chose something that was pink, I would probably get it for them, but unfortunately I think my DH would probably act in the same way as the OP's.

It isn't really a big deal, but it is a bit weird to be so judgy at a colour?!

nickelbaalamb · 20/04/2011 16:14

Have shown this thread to DH, and he said that OP's DH is being daft.

He then proudly said that he has a pink shirt and a pink tie, that he wears sometimes (not together)
but he wouldn't wear pink shoes or trousers.
but that he can't see the problem with a DS wearing pink crocs.

Original poster
howdidthishappenthen · 20/04/2011 17:09

Yes, my DH has a several pink tops/ t shirts too. But for some reason this isn't a prob for a grown married man ( maybe because the wife and kids safely proclaim hetero status, but young boys sexuality is undecided?!). Anyway, who knows how the warped reasoning goes. DH is strangely unwilling to be drawn on it :-)

OP posts:
stillstanding · 20/04/2011 17:13

Ridiculous - completely agree with tortilla re children having so little control and choice of colour is such an easy give. DS1's favourite colour is pink at the mo and I practically encourage it. Camo anything is awful ... I remember DS2 was given a camo sleepsuit as a newborn and it made me want to weep.

ousel · 20/04/2011 17:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ephiny · 20/04/2011 17:24

What a shame he couldn't have his favourite colour just because he's a boy :(

Like others, I'd much rather see a little boy in pink rather than camo, that's just horrible.

overmydeadbody · 20/04/2011 17:29

I'm with you OP and agree with tortilla.

Children should be able to make their own decisions about little unimportant things like the colour of their shoes

aliceliddell · 21/04/2011 11:02

I have a theory that the massive resistance to men/boys doing traditional women/girls stuff is as damaging as restricting girls. We've ended up with all the same shit PLUS pressure to have eg full time jobs in trad. male areas, but men still do far less housework, childcare etc. Boys should def. be brought up much more 'like girls' (excuse generalisation), eg creative not violent, pink not camo.

nickelbaalamb · 21/04/2011 11:10

hear hear alice!

knit2tog · 21/04/2011 11:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sowhatshallido · 21/04/2011 11:26

my ds favourite colour was pink as a preschooler. He always had to have the pink cup, etc. He loved dressing up with his sister and often wore the pink tutu or the nurse dress. He gradually grew out of it after starting school.
It was just a colour.
(i know dh wouldnt have 'let' him have pink crocs though! He was horrified enough that he loved wearing the pink tutu - and that was in the house!)

sunshinenanny · 21/04/2011 11:32

There was a time back in history when pink was considered a male colour. I agree it's more about the choice than anything else. Children need to have some choice in these things. If its important, like wearing a sunhat in current weather or warm clothes in the middle of winter I insist but pink play shoes. why not; your husband is just being sillySmile

TeddyMcardle · 21/04/2011 11:39

Camo for children is awful, ds's dad wears a lot of camo. Hate it, especially on a baby.