Why are society's restrictions on men's appearance never mentioned?

[Cattleprod]

I've seen and participated in a number of discussions over the past year or so, on mumsnet and real life, which have focussed on stereotypical expectations of womens and girls appearance based on gender. The overwhelming sea of pink in girls clothes shops, shaving/waxing various body parts, 'princess' type slogans, cosmetic surgery, length of skirts, high heels, styles of underwear, that sort of thing.

The point always comes up that it is unfair that so much value and judgement is placed on a woman's physical appearance, and of course it is terrible that anybody should be judged on physical or aesthetic aspects that they haven't chosen themselves, or have had forced on them by situation or society.

But it got me thinking, that although a lot of the unwritten expectations related to appearance, and the perhaps more sinister ones (eg. she was wearing a short skirt so was asking to be molested) relate to women, far more of the overt expectations, those that invite comment and even punishment, that I have come across have been applied to men and boys.

From the rule at my school that a boy's hair must not reach his collar, to the expectation in many offices that a man must wear a suit and tie, have short hair and be clean shaven, to my little boy being laughed at when I put a plain clip in his hair to keep it out of his eyes. Men just aren't as free to look different from 'the norm'. Any man that ventures out in a skirt, or lipstick, high heels, a pashmina etc. is likely to be met with incredulous stares and unpleasant comments, and in extreme cases, violence. Yet these are things that we as women can wear freely, safe in the knowledge that we can also choose to wear traditional mens clothing largely without derogotary comments (as Sandi Toksvig and many other women often do).

So, aside from obviously wanting to stamp out appearance-based prejudice that still exists as mentioned above, does there not seem to be the space or inclination for us as women to celebrate the fact that we do generally have more freedom than men to dress as we wish? I know there are boundaries set by religion, occupation, local society etc., but it is always the negative aspects of the spectrum of female appearance choices that are discussed, never the positive.

So women would all be much happier in the home, cooking the tea and ironing his shirts? I, for one, wouldn't....

There have been a huge number of changes between the 1950s and now. Most of them having nothing to do with feminism. It is impossible to tell from these surveys why more people perceived themselves as very happy in the 1950s, and an enormous leap to connect it to feminism.

I don't think it is an enormous leap, considering the Feminist movement has been one of the most significant political movements of the last 50 years.
But hey - I think we're just going around in circles now - it's a beautiful day and I'm off to have a magners in the garden ...

In fact, according to the report linked to, 52% of people describe themselves as very happy in 1957, as opposed to 34% in the early 1970s. Yet there was very little change in the number of women working between the 1950s and the 1970s. So whatever has caused this drop off in perceived happiness, it is something that happened in the 1960s, and is not about working women at all.

Commercial television makes people unhappy.

Lots of cars on the roads, forcing people (especially children) out of public spaces makes communities unhappy.

Junk food makes people unhappy.

Breaking up established communities makes people unhappy - see my post up there about slum clearing. Not to say that it was wrong, because the standard of housing was far superior. Ruined established community bonds, though. Happened in the 60s.

It doesn't seem to be just women who are apparently less happy than in the 1950s though. Isn't it likely that if women's happiness has decreased it might well be due in large part to the same factors decreasing men's happiness (we could speculate a lot about what those factors might be, but people have made some good suggestions on this thread) rather than because 'women prefer having less to think and worry about' . Many aspects of our society have changed since the '50s, perhaps if not for the changes due to feminism women would be even less happy now!

AyeRobot - absolutely. The building of tower blocks led to the feeling of isolation for many families and were an architectural
disaster ( that's why most of them have been demolished )

There is a happiness in being a contributor to household income a sense of satisfaction in knowing that financial decisions can be yours independently of anyone else. In being an equal partner. Since DH started earning as much as me he has taken on more of the work at home. We both feel equally valuable.

I read this thread with interest. Going back to the original point on appearance, there is certainly a restriction on the range of clothing that us men can expect to wear. I do a fair bit of running / swimming and always wear plain black Adidas or Nike sports tights when I go running (full length or 3/4 length). Although these garments are made for men, very practical and comfortable I was still a bit conscious of wearing them at first, and I have had the odd derogatory comment shouted from people I pass. Despite that I continue to wear them because they are ideal for running. Sometimes I wear them at home when it is cold as they are more comfortable than jeans (my wife doesn't mind, infact she thinks I look good in them .) I wouldn't dare wear them or anything similar outdoors if I wasn't out running however, but seems a shame that I (or any other man) should feel that way. Perhaps need David Beckham et al to make it fashionable!

In terms of beach wear - I live in Australia and because of the strength of the sun it is commonplace for men, women and children to wear a sea tea shirt (like surfers would wear) and shorts/board shorts. I wear these on the beach and can honestly say I have never felt any pressure to wear skimpy clothing - I hope this will at some point become the norm on all beaches around the world!