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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

More woman get annoyed on mothersday, than men get annoyed on fathers day.....

51 replies

LoveBeingKnockedUp · 03/04/2011 07:40

I'm not a regular on this section but to take a look when a thread takes my fancy.

Just wondering what your thoughts are really. Am thinking that every year there are a number of threads from unhappy women who feel they have not had a good enough mothers day, on the flip side i don't hear of any men being upset on fathers day.

So is it expectation, woman expect more, or men get treated better so have nothing to complain about?

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveBeingKnockedUp · 03/04/2011 07:41

Sorry about typos am on my phone!

OP posts:
noodle69 · 03/04/2011 08:53

I think there are certain women that just allow a man to treat them poorly, then moan about it without doing anything to change it. A man will only treat you poorly if you allow him to. That goes for on mothers day and any other day of the year.

The threads this morning already from selfish men make me wonder if more why some women enable their behaviour.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 03/04/2011 09:08

"A man will only treat you poorly if you allow him to"

Eh? Shock Confused

OP yes, I do think some women over expect on mothers' day, to the point where they expect their husbands should get them things in lieu of the children if the children are very small.

I find that most odd. (but not as odd as saying a man will only treat you poorly if you allow him to. Which is actually quite offensive.)

noodle69 · 03/04/2011 09:32

I dont think its offensive, its the truth. Just looking at threads on here already this morning on how a man doesnt get up but makes his pregnant wife get up to attend to his sick child everyday and wont ever take turns even today on mothers day. Things like that occur because the man involved knows he can get away with it imo.

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 03/04/2011 09:53

What, because it's always the woman's fault? Could it be because the man is an arse? I haven't seen the thread you're talking about.

Either way. I find this whole expectation of Mothers day very odd.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 03/04/2011 09:56

How about "A man will only treat you poorly if he's a twat"? as an alternative.

Plenty of women don't "allow" their men to treat them like shit. Why can't the men just behave like decent human beings without women having to give them permission either way? Shouldn't men take responsibility for their behaviour too?

And why do so many men behave lazily and irresponsibly wrt their families anyway? Is it really because women "allow" them to? Really?? Or is it because they've grown up in a society which is organised to allow them to develop certain assumptions about what they can get away with in the domestic sphere?

nethunsreject · 03/04/2011 09:56

I do think there are ridiculous expectations of Mothers Day. FLowers, chocs, breakfast, meals out, etc. Not from the majority of course, but from a vocal minority.

A homemeade card and a lie in or cuppa in bed suffice here for Mother and Father's day.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 03/04/2011 09:57

Ha, X-posted MMOC...

nethunsreject · 03/04/2011 09:57

Oh, and yes, of course men behaving like twats is condoned by society. Look at the fucking ads. Insulting to women and men.

LeninGrad · 03/04/2011 10:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tallulah · 03/04/2011 10:37

My expectation was that my DH could actually manage to get home in time this morning so that I could have tea in bed, and he could dress and feed our 4 yo. Not much to ask. Not only was he not early/ in time, he is now almost 1.5 hours later than usual Angry He rang DS to say he had problems at work- oh why doesn't that surprise me?

It doesn't matter what the occasion is, work comes first :( (Then my mother wonders why I never "make plans")

Blackduck · 03/04/2011 10:52

Too much over expectation in my view - but agree with LG that if you can't even get a lie in it doesn't bode well!! (for what it is worth I got a home made card - made me :) and ds left me alone this morning, dp cooked kedgeree and made tea).
Do think it is overhyped in the shops (but then it would be as it is another marketing opportunity!)

allegrageller · 03/04/2011 10:56

I'm a nearly-divorced mum and I got nothing!! Although I did get a lie-in because I sent the boys back downstairs to play computer games!! (ooh bad mum emoticon)

I am suspicious of mother's day- a sneaky corporate way to fob women off with doing all the sh** for the rest of the year, imo. I always used to say when I was married, that I didn't want it celebrated. To be fair though xh was nice and used to get the boys to bring me breakfast etc.

Gay40 · 03/04/2011 10:57

Overhyped nonsense and completely unrealistic nexpectations from all parties. If you are at the point where you expect a big song and dance on Mother's Day when nowt happes every other day of the year, then you are setting yourself up for sorrow.

I don't really understand why we bother with it. The one day of the year to make a special effort???? That should be almost every day ffs.

flimflammery · 03/04/2011 11:02

Reading just the thread title, I would say it's because mothers' day goes back to Mothering Sunday, an old tradition, whereas fathers' day was invented by American greeting card companies and can be ignored.

Prolesworth · 03/04/2011 11:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

noodle69 · 03/04/2011 11:48

I agree with LeninGrad and all though it is bad form to talk about other threads on other threads. I think on some of the mothers day ones today the mums have realised that the men have got away with it for too long, and maybe they should stand up and not allow it anymore. Good on them! Lets hope it leads to changes for them in the future.

dittany · 03/04/2011 11:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

noodle69 · 03/04/2011 11:51

I will also that most women on that thread have said their own men would never behave in such a manner so I dont think it is expected that all men should behave like twats, I still think only the minority would be such idiots.

dittany · 03/04/2011 11:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnquietDad · 03/04/2011 11:54

I think most dads don't have unrealistic expectations about being "pampered" or whatever. Nice lie-in and a cooked breakfast would do me.

noodle69 · 03/04/2011 11:55

If that is true dittany then the women has very low expectations of what a man should do. The man is still an twat, he doesnt have to be the womans twat though. Go on strike or get rid all these put upon women!

BaggedandTagged · 03/04/2011 11:57

Think Mothers Day is a way of letting men off the hook though (well that and valentines day). Two bunches of flowers a year and you can expect to receive comprehensive service from your woman the rest of the year.

Right, well my DH has forgotten both so frankly he's screwed then isn't he? [twisted smile emoticon]

Seriously though, I think men generally cannot be arsed with celebrations- they are far less bothered about Christmas, Easter etc. Basically they are miserable fuckers. I should have married a Brazilian.

thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 11:59

I'm guessing it's because most men don't give much of a shit about Fathers' Day, tbh.

And because they don't give a shit, they can't understand why many women do.

So for those men who don't give a shit - they'll accept the card, the breakfast, the present because it's been handed to them on a plate - but because it isn't important to them, then it won't cross their mind for a second that it woudl be a nice thing to do for their partner, unless reminded.

Some men do care, however. And care about mothers' day because they care about pleasing their partner.

BaggedandTagged · 03/04/2011 12:02

Thumbwitch Spot on.

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