How can we stop women being killed like this (very upsetting)?

[BitOfFun]

Henan Ahkter was only fourteen years old

What the fuck is going on that the world can stand by and allow this kind of thing to carry on?

its about educatin men on the worth of women, and makin them acknowlede how important women are in their current roles,

The problem is that we don't know who is at risk of being in an abusive relationship.

We needed the elders permission to work with their community so that women felt able to come forward and ask for help.

They very rarely come forward with requests for support because of their marriage, it is always about the children. It is only once in and working with the families that we are able to determine that the problems within the marriage need addressing as well.

The idea of women being chosen like in a meat market by their prospective husbands turns my stomach, but to these communities itis the way it is. Even the women accept that this is the way it is. They (think) that there is no need to change it. it is what happened to their mothers and grandmothers and will be fine for them.

We have to understand and in some ways respect their culture and the way their communities work. We get far more by working with them than fighting against them.

I also had no idea that people were allowed to refuse SS access to their homes. You learn something every day.

Since when did ss need permision to walk through the door ?

I cannot believe this child's parents watched helplessly on, you would have to kill me before you'd get your hands on my daughter knowing that was her fate, why couldn't the parents assist her, sounds like they didn't put up much of a fight.

I work for a charity called homesstart, I work specifically with Ethnic minorities.

square - if a neighbour reported screams or saw a woman being physically abused then the police could demand entry. But if the report came in when the woman was not in immediate danger then police would refer to their Dv unit who would attempt to make contact and leave a number. that is pretty much all that can be done.

AyeRobot - we have actually had a great success record. Between our home visits and group support sessions both ethnic specific and general sessions we have over 70 families that we work with directly. That seems like a tiny number but for a small charity it is huge. You also have to think that each one of those women will go and speak with friends. if we change teh way they see the world they will help drip feed the same information to their freinds, aunt's, cousins, sister etc.

I now have 3 volunteers that now assist me that were once women we worked with. That alone is HUGE! for a woman in certain cultures to do voluntary work like this is almost unheard of.

so im a liar

I'm very surprised about all of this. So basically if a crime is committed in the street, then people understand that something can be done. If the same crime is committed in the home, nothing can be done? But that's not right is it, as when people are growing weed, or running guns, or having illegal dogs then someone can come in and do something about it. But in the case where violence is being committed, nothing can be done?

If my DH kicked the shit out of me and the neighbours reported it, and he went to the door and said "she's fine" - that would be the end of that?

Sort of the idea that an "englishman's home is his castle" I guess.

in that case the police would ask to see you and would make it clear that they needed to. but if he point blank refused ( my understanding is) that they would need a warrant to enter unless they had reason to believe you were in immediate danger.

as is the case with someone growing weed or drug dealing.

the police no longer need to have the womans permission to charge the man with violance against her which is a major step forward.

But in the vast majority of cases i am not talking about physical abuse. i am talking about severe emotional abuse. To the point where the woman literally hasnt left the house in over 3 years etc

Hmmmmmm. Maybe. I think the minute you start treating someone differently and according them a different, and inferior, level of rights because of their 'culture' you're on dodgy ground.

Dittany - the SBS have actually helped fund one of my women move area to escape a violant husband. The work they do is massive.
One of the very first things i encourage my non British women to do is to get their Citizenship so that they can apply for a British Passport.

My Colleague has emailed me a copy of "safe and Sane"
I've not had a chance to read it yet (not at work this week) but from teh quick skim i had earlier it looks very interesting.

They really are grounbreaking in this field

Oh FGS ignore everything I say at the moment - I seem to be completely unable to resond to anything but a point made 20 posts ago. I have done this on three threads now. The patriarchy has my brain. (I'm not sure what they are going to use it for)

Unruly - they are not going to do anything with your brain, they just think women would be better off without them.

Southall Black Sisters were at MWR and I was proud to be in the same march as them (albeit 5000 people further down the line ) This has reminded me, someone posted about a film about Kiranjit Ahluwalia recently, must track it down.)

I'm not reading Mamazon's posts as implying it's pointless reporting suspected abuse.

No the law applies to all residents of this land, whatever colour, religion or culture they belong to.

However Social services would not be involved in a case of spousal abuse unless there were children involved.

The majority of families that Homestart work with ar referals from SS, GP's HV's, Schools etc.

Ethnic minorities very often slip through these nets. The children are usually well cared for as it is the womans job to ensure this is the case. The children are seen as a higher priority to their mother. Her job is to serve all the members of her family.

It has been my role to activly seek out the families from these communities to work with. To try and encourage these families to engage with our services.

We seem to have gone off on some tangent that i ignore physical harm to a woman due to teh colour of her skin, of course that is not correct.
But there are certain aspects of their culture that I with my western feminist thinkng find abhorant that is common place in their culture. If i were to go in and demand these practices end i would no lnger be welcome to work with the women i do.
I have often wanted to pull my hair out at the fact that these women are putting up with such controlling emotionally abusive families (and i mean families, not just the husbands as there are normally in laws, and siblings under the same roof)

but you cannot just take a captive animal and put him in the wild. It takes time and a gentle approach.

Whether we like it or not ( i certainly don't) the men in these communities DO say what goes on. if they say no then the wives are no longer allowed to come to group, they no longer allow the home visitors in, they no longer agree to their wives having ESOL lessons etc.

call it pandering if you like, if that is what it takes (and it is) then so be it

I hadn't posted as a social worker SAF.
You knew from prior threads that that was my profession, i said that i worked with Minority families.