Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

?

So a perfectly sane answer to the question "resisting feminity, who's in?" is "So has anyone grown a beard yet?"

That doesn't make sense as an answer to the question.

Trolltastic.

Look, you have made it quite clear that this thread is in response to what men society expects of you, as I said earlier.

I made the point that rebelling against that is in fact no different to complying with that as you are reacting to men society rather than having your own idea and fuck the rest of them.

If you have a problem with that then you have a problem with the truth.

I consider myself more of a feminist then you dittany because I do what I want for me, nobody else, just for me. Do you get that ?

Your attitude and actions like this are just dancing like a puppet on their strings.

The Beard/Yeti comments were to try and get some passion going in the hope the response would be "its because its what we/I want", but no, the only response was its a reaction to the expectations yada yada yada.

To be fair trolls do have a fair amount of hair, so it could be more of a comfort issue than a need to comply with society's expectations of women.

I have no doubt that there are women who do not feel the pressure to conform as much as others. I also think that the pressure to conform varies through life.

So far so good.

However many women do feel a pressure to conform and do not feel confident enough to stop conforming even in very small ways. That is what this thread is about. It's a little experiment, people can join in or not as they choose, and can talk about the issues surrounding the expectation on women to conform.

Again, so far so good.

2b your post is basically saying that we must stop doing this and must stop talking about it. Why? What does it matter to you?

"I consider myself more of a feminist then you dittany because I do what I want for me, nobody else, just for me. Do you get that ?"

How can you not get that the way you think is in some way molded by societal pressures?

whoops that's not disengaging is it

I am crap at this.

SQ - my whole reason for appearing on the feminism threads in the last week or so is because I have a 6 month old DD and I have realised that this sort of stuff is going to start with her, probably sooner than I can imagine, and that breaks my heart as she is so beautiful as she is. I have a DS but it has never felt such a problem, which is telling in itself.

I distinctly remember why I started shaving my legs, aged about 14. I was walking to the bus station with a girl in the year above, who was the friend of a friend, and she made some comment about how she was excited because she was going to get her legs waxed for the first time as it wasn't nice to have hairy legs and waxing was way easier than shaving. It was at that point that I noticed my hairy legs properly and went home and used my dad's fairly cut-throat razor to shave them :( I don't want my DD to start shaving her legs in secret because some older girl told her to.

Chandon - there are plenty of grooming rituals that I either enjoy, or like the effect of enough to do, but there are plenty that I've always felt are a 'duty'. I think this thread is about helping us work out which we want to keep and which we actually just want to stop doing because they add nothing to our lives (and in fact detract from them - because they take too much precious time or because they are physically impossible for some of us like engelbert to do) and giving us a bit of support in trying that. I have a bit of a head start on the not plucking pubes thing for example, but this thread has made me start to contemplate whether shaving my armpits is something I really need to do. Yet giving up my bra is something I cannot (yet) countenance. And that is all fine.

"I have no doubt that there are women who do not feel the pressure to conform as much as others"

Hurrah - does this make me and Chandon the best feminists?

I like this thread

ah yes, totally trolly, s/he probably has the bingo card in front of him/her and is trying to get all the squares into a single thread.

I like the choice-feminism-inspired individualism-to-the-point-of-solipsism in there, too.

well I don't know Libra, you are doing so well and then you keep shaving biscuits

I do get annoyed when I see how a lifetime of shaving has left me with nasty, dark stubble under my arms, when my DH has downy soft lighter hair. I could have lived with downy hair.

As a teenager I remember being revolted by the unshaven legs of a female teacher who wore short skirts. Now I realise how deeply conditioned I was/am it makes me sad. And angry. How have we been taught this, and why are other girls/women those most offended by the idea of not shaving and the first to criticize?

No SQ, I am not saying that at all.

I am saying if people want to do it, whatever it may be, then by all means talk about it, be supportive to them, because I totally take your point about confidence etc.

Supportive to them and what they want, not to some ideals that you want to impose on them.

But by saying that I am being labelled a troll by the mother earthers who aren't interested in the individual, just the cause.

And with that I'm off this thread, its making me itch.

Proud2bFeminine The Point of the thread

@ Proud2Submit2PatriarchalConstructionsOfFemininity's last post.

because of course this thread's been all 'You lot MUST stop shaving your legs/wearing make-up, I am ordering you to!' hasn't it? (not).
and she is talking about being supportive after coming in and making nasty comments about beards and hairy yetis

there only two rational explanations here, one is extreme thickness, the other is trollery. I don't know.

still, if I am wrong, and she comes back having read The Whole Woman or Living Dolls and wants to talk about it sensibly, that will be nice

Has Carmina namechanged just for us? I think I recognise the MO.

And I don't lol much (which dh says makes me disconcerting to watch comedy with)but my lip did twitch a bit at 'a better feminist than Dittany'. Were you aware you were a yardstick Dittany?

the better feminist line always reminds me of that Bible story where King Solomon suggests the women who can't agree whose baby it is should cut it in half - I have never heard an actual feminist (or shall I say 'someone for whom there is evidence that she is an actual feminist') bicker over who is a better feminist.
I mean, they just don't.

Too true SSM.

Except that I'm better than you obviously. Tweezed eyebrows and all. Cut me and I bleed women's rights.

'btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't'

Isn't it wonderful how everything you put in your OP has come TRUE?

Can you wish for something more useful next time? An end to oppression, world peace, better tweezer construction practice.