Resisting femininity experiment - who's in?

[sethstarkaddersmackerel]

I was thought-provoked by the 'I'm a feminist but....' thread, particularly Dittany's posts, in which she talked about women who choose not to 'perform femininity'.

I posted on the other thread that I hugely object to all that bikini-line business but do still shave my legs. Am not sure why I do this, so I think I'm going to stop and see how it feels. It felt like a major issue when I was 20 or so but I actually suspect not shaving them now would make me feel more, rather than less, confident.

So I wondered if anyone else was thinking about giving up any beauty practices or other elements of compulsory femininity and would like to do it together and see how it feels.

this is not a competition - if you decide after a day you hate it and can't live without it, fine, but it would be really interesting to hear about, and I think it could advance our understanding of how this all works.

anyone else in?

btw, I am in a vile mood today so if anyone wants to come along to the thread and tell us we are just falling into the trap of thinking all feminists have to have hairy legs, or that actually they wax everything and are a still better feminist than meeeee, I will tell them to fuck off because if you don't 'get' this I can't be bothered explaining, either you get it or you don't

Well, we can hope there will be a backlash. I don't see how people can afford to carry on letting this stuff become normalized - financially, I mean. It's bloody expensive.

I would really like if I have a DD to make her feel as if she's entitled to shave her body if she wants (because my mum made me feel awful for wanting to do that), but I hope she'd also see that I'll happily wander around with my hairy legs out and, actually, people don't swoon in shock and it doesn't stop me wearing pretty dresses.

Slept badly, and for some reason kept boggling at the idea that women don't touch men's legs. Couldn't get it out of my head.
I know Queen Victoria supposedly refused to believe in the existence of lesbianism, because she couldn't think what they would do to each other, but this is a little bit like refusing to believe in the existence of female heterosexuality. How can someone who has ever been to bed with a man think things like this? I have some weird image in my head of a statue-still, hairless woman, posed with voguey arms, while a man or men poke things at her. Is this what sex is like if you learnt it from porn? Yes, I am immature.

My school motto: age quod agis = do what you do. (I take this to mean both: do what you do; and do what you do)

So, what can we do about our DDs?

I am happy that DD (6) sees me sometimes shaving but mostly not, sees me naked with refulgent pubes, etc. And she watches me putting on make up with great interest, partly because it doesn't happen often.

She is always asking to wear make-up and get her nails done etc. I don't mind putting some pale pink nailpolish on her now and then. And she has worn sparkly lip balm to parties.

Thing is, I can see the pressure on her already, coming from her classmates. I am trying to think what her other main influences are on this subject - Disney (bleurgh); TV; DS games about fashion design and make up . Not really pop videos, because I don't let her watch music channels.

oh how are you supposed to italicise individual words?

lol vezzie

I touched DH's legs last night in bed

(not during sex or anything, my hand sort of brushed against him)

I started giggling. He was a bit puzzled until I explained my supposed faux pas.

dunno - ^ on either side of the word, I thought.

you know, it's not just women who do cosmetic hair removal,

ask any middle-aged man about ears, nose and eyebrows

Or more to the point -- ask any middle-aged man's wife about ears, nose and eyebrows (you don't think I stabbed myself in the ear with the nail scissors last month for my own benefit?

I tell you, the first time the hair-dresser offers to do your ears is serious milestone in the journey of life. You realise you're turning into you grand-dad.

I would join you ladies in your non-depilatory campaign but I am afraid Mrs Stubborn wouldn't have it.

There's a v interesting discussion to be had about other ways people conform/do not conform, including the male grooming issue. Someone has already mentioned men with big messy beards and how that isn't condoned.

I was thinking also about vegetarianism and not having a tv and how threatened people are by that stuff (I am currently an occasional meat-eater and tv watcher, but have had long periods in my life without either)

Related issues but probably a different thread.

alexpolismum:
[having visions of saying 'alea jacta est' to dh on making the first moves to see if it puts him off]

But which of you will say "Veni vidi vici" afterwards?

dp has serious eyebrows (think Denis Healy) which he gets from his mum and barbers will often 'trim' them for him without him even asking! I am not so bothered by them, at least its not a monobrow (born to be hung my nan used to say!!)

TeiTetua!

DH's eyebrows are naturally perfect. I am

He does have nose and ear hair though.

Eyebrow plucking is something I never ever do - they are a bit unkempt but I will not get them done - however I am increasingly tempted as they start to grow white hairs.

Has anyone had their eyebrows waxed? I did it once and it is so, so painful. Much worse than legs.

I had no idea women were not supposed to touch men's legs, I quite like stroking DPs furry limbs

I think the thing about male grooming is similar but not the same. Men are expected not to have big messy beards, that's generally true, but I don't think it's considered almost obscene the way women's body hair is. And men are expected to keep the hair clipped, but not to eradicate all trace of it and maintain the illusion that there was never any hair there in the first place, which I feel is what women are supposed to do.

It may be starting to turn the same way for men though, with back and chest hair apparently becoming less acceptable, not to mention other bits...

Seth, thanks for starting this thread.

It has really made me think more about this subject and I love reading the posts from women who are taking part in the experiment (or for whom hairiness etc is the norm). It's nice to have a place where I don't feel like a bit of a freak.

can I join??

I havent shaved my legs as i was so disgustingly huge heavily pregnant, and now... I rather like them :) I smother myself in e45 when out of shower and DP now remarks how smooth my legs feel, he hasnt noticed

Most men shave everyday - sometimes twice a day - they do it because an unshaven face doesn't look presentable - nature wants men to have facial hair - Society ( and most women ) prefer men to be clean shaven and have short hair - men have conformed. Good for them. I doubt they're wasting time on a male dominated forum discussing beards - or lack of. Maybe they don't feel threatened by having to shave everyday.

And They don't shave their arms and legs because they're too busy shaving their faces.

I shave my legs and under my arms regularly - thankfully I do not have any facial hair - but if I did I'd pay ££££ to have it removed.

OK, I'm not ready to stop the de-hairing BUT I do want to join in so...

I hereby vow never again to covet a pair of thigh-toning shoes.

So why are you wasting you time here CB? It isn't a case of feeling threatened its the 'having to' that gets me - who says? They don't shave theirs arms and legs becuase (as yet) there is no billion pound industry telling them they have to.....