Feminism chat thread II

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Since it looks like the first chat thread is about to fill up, here's the next one all ready and waiting.

Think of it as the gated commune with babysitting on demand and gorgeous poolboys serving the drinks :o

cokefloat Thanks for linking that article, it actually inspired me to email the office of David Cameron (v. disillusioned ex tory voter here) referencing it. Good longest post so far!

Hellooo thread. Was just posting on another thread but didn't want to derail so here I am.

Was mentioning to someone the other day that a man we both know vaguely started feeling me up the other night, when we were having a perfectly normal chat. No flirty subtext, nothing - I was shocked. She said that he has been very creepy to her also. It just made me think that these men never seem to do it to just one person do they. The minute a woman speaks out and says "this man did something to me" there is usually a lot of other women saying "he did it to me too".

Just musing on the nature of pervy twattishness.

By "no flirty subtext" I mean - we weren't flirting, I barely know him, we were chatting at a work event.

Sorry to hear that Elephants, how are you feeling?

grrrrr.
it's good that you actually talked about it with the other woman. Talking is very powerful - no wonder men can get threatened when women do it

Bleugh.... Elephants, you have every right to be shocked by that behaviour. I hope you're alright, it can really mess with your head.

And I think you're right - these things are rarely a one-off. Patterns of behaviour are usually pretty well entrenched by the time a man reaches full adulthood.

This blog post demonstrates how the majority of rapists (for example) are recidivists - they do it over and over again (by their own admission, in this case).

Have to share that I am so fucking angry with that slutwalk thing now. What other aspects of their abuse are women to blame for for letting it get to them? Jeez. So many women try to come to terms with abuse they've experienced, and spaces like this can do all the affirmation that is so important, and then we get told we shouldn't 'let it' get to us. Been stewing on this now. So many vulnerable women go to RTNs to take back what has been taken away from them, genuine 'empowerment', and I fear for anyone like that who goes to slut walk to be told to get over themselves, I really do. But hey as long as it's 'fun'. Maybe I should be posting this on that thread, but I'm too angry and emotional about it to a)measure myself and b)don't feel it's in any way a safe space. (And breathe)

Cheers PrinceH, I'm feeling better now.

Ha yes water pistol at the nose would be perfect.

Thanks for the sympathy, but I feel I don't deserve it. Whenever something like this happens to me, at the time I obviously find it very uncomfortable/intimidating but at the same time almost funny. I think it's the adrenalin actually, pondering it now, a bit like when someone gashes their hand open and walks up to you going "ha, look what I did!" before they feel it. It's such a shock that someone is having the fucking cheek to touch your body without your permission (albeit comparatively mildly in this case, sliding his bloody hands up my skirt and stroking my thighs/bum) that your mind puts a bit of a barrier up, and it's only later that realise these things stay with you for years.

It is powerful to talk about it. In fact on the evening it happened I was a bit drunk and rather than telling him to fuck off (as I would like to think I would) I just kept trying to wriggle away from him (was stuck sitting next to him) - then when I finally got away I explained to anyone who asked exactly why I had moved :o A lot of people were very surprised that he would do this, and I felt that by behaving like this at work (albeit social work occasion) he totally deserved everyone knowing exactly what he was like.

You do deserve it. You react in the way you react at the time. There's no way you 'should' react. We've seen on here the reaction people sometimes get if they do get angry, so it's understandable that people sometimes don't.

Watching the election coverage. Do you know what they need? More white men in grey suits. I'm just struggling to hear their voice. I mean why does no-one care about the voice of white men in grey suits? Their needs and views are just so overlooked.

I was thinking that last night while watching Question Time followed by Vote 2011. David Dimbleby doing both, one woman on the QT panel. It was boring and predictable. I switched off because I was just sick of hearing a man's voice telling me their bloody opinion.

They had Sadiq Khan (not white, but suit in place, and a man of course) and Baroness Warsi, Caroline Flint and Emily somebody IIRC. Other than that, wall to wall patriarchs.

David Dimbleby really just needs to go away.

Indeed! He is just the epitomy of the BBC patriarchy at its best!

Who could replace him? Cathy Newman from Channel 4 news maybe?

Did I actually manage to post nothing then? Amazing. I was trying to say how about Cathy Newman to replace DD?

Yep, Washington Correspondent