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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

High Heels WTF is it about

164 replies

FattyArbuckel · 05/02/2011 17:04

Why in this day and age do we STILL worship high heels

I think they are one step away from chinese foot binding and can't look around the pavements without cringing...

Really, why do women wear them? I think they look awful.

Rant over - just could not keep it in any longer today....

OP posts:

elvisgirl · 06/02/2011 12:11

Elephants&Miasmas - do you know the Camper range of shoes? They do bright & pretty flat shoes & some well quirky ones too. V exxie tho.

For the record, not a heel wearer here either. Surely it is impossible to wear them without feeling any discomfort so why would anyone wear them? I feel the same about that shaping underwear too. It must be restricting & hot & sweaty. I'd rather be comfy than smoothed out!

SnapFrakkleAndPop · 06/02/2011 12:24

I don't worship high heels but I do appreciate the reduction in height difference between DH and I when I wear them!

That said I don't have uncomfy high heels and I don't wear them because they 'look good' or because I'm expected to.

There's a difference between skyscrapers and a modest heel though. The latter can actually be more comfy than a flat. I don't think my spine appreciates flat-flats so even my ballet pumps have a 1cm raise on the heel.

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/02/2011 13:10

Well, I think I'm a fairly wide awake feminist and have been for many years but I love high heels. I get that they make us look more sexually alluring - lengthen the leg; makes the bottom wiggle; puts us at a disadvantage if need to "get away" etc. Basically, they throw you off balance and they're really bad for you.

I am comfortable in my heels (although I do wear flats too). I wear what I think looks best with whatever else I'm wearing. I do not find them uncomfortable - if I did, I wouldn't wear them again.

I could never, ever defend them but I will not be parted from them without a struggle.

LilBB · 06/02/2011 13:23

Perhaps make up does help women when dealing with customers but since we sit in an office with no face to face involvement with customers doing data interfaces I dont see why my colleague was so bothered by lack of make up. I have bouts of bad skin but still don't wear make up very often. I can't stand it and makes me feel insecure as im sure I end up with a tangerine face.

Ephiny · 06/02/2011 13:43

I wouldn't be surprised if make up (and high heels) is correlated with greater success in the workplace sometimes, because these things are very strongly associated with the idea of 'looking professional' in most people's minds. Naomi Wolf talks about this in The Beauty Myth.

But nothing is going to change if we keep going along with it, and personally I don't want that definition of success on those terms.

And funnily enough no one thinks a man looks more professional if he's teetering on stilts or has decorated his face with coloured paints...so clearly these things are not intrinsically necessary in order for someone to be taken seriously.

Petalouda · 06/02/2011 13:52

Ephiny I think you might be right - my sister used to be a recruitment consultant, and would tell her candidates to wear heels to interviews, saying that flats were 'unprofessional'. I made my point to her, as well as one can to ones sibling without breaking into all-out war! I think her attitude was probably a product of the organisation she worked for.

Personally, I'm sticking to my "dyke" shoes (as my wonderful friends call them) since they're functional and comfy!

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/02/2011 14:07

Hmmm... I don't think you should have to wear heels or make-up at work if you don't want to.

I do think, though, that there is room in the world for what we individually find beautiful or attractive rather than going for practicality all the time. Isn't that what art is about? Totally unnecessary in practical terms but adds something very special for those of who appreciate it. And, of course, we all appreciate different arts. Perhaps it's the same with shoes/clothes/make-up? Just because someone chooses to wear high heels does not mean that they buy into the patriarchy.

Oblomov · 06/02/2011 14:09

I love heels. I do not see the link to feminism at all. I never used to wear heels. I used to wear doc martens with my goth short black skirt and fitted black top.
But I learnt how feminine and lovely they make you feel. I wear 2-3 inches. Normally to my part time work and when I go to parties/dinner. The other days I go a 25 minutes walking/pushing ds2 buggy school run, so have ugg types, or slip on trainers etc.
And being 'vertically challenged', i.e practically minute, I should have worn them years ago.
Plus I wear a bit more make up now. I mean one swipe of brown eyeshadow and a one swipe of brown eyeliner. Takes seconds and just makes me feel nice.
In your 30's I think you need to make a bit more effort than maybe you did before.
If they are uncomfortable, then sure, don't wear them. But mine are not uncomfortable. I never take mine off at the end of the office day and go, ''ahh, thta feels better'.
I can't see the problem with heels.

Ephiny · 06/02/2011 14:22

You can wear whatever you like, no one is trying to take your pretty shoes away! But I do think there's a problem when people who happen to be female are expected to put on really quite bizarre footwear like this just in order to be considered 'professional'. Whereas by remarkable coincidence if you're male you can be perfectly smart and professional in flat comfortable shoes. For me that's a feminist issue, especially exploring why it should be that way and where these 'rules' come from.

Obviously everyone has a preference about how they like to dress, and that's a personal choice and not what this is about really. But still might be interesting to think about why this specific style of footwear makes you feel so 'feminine and lovely', and indeed why that's considered a desirable way to feel!

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 14:27

I think women should be able to wear what they like

But they should be quite sure why they wear certain things/dress in a certain way

I don't wear heels, never have

But then I'm 5ft 10, same height as DH, so that may influence why, I dunno

I think you can get pretty, interesting flat shoes and boots

watfordmummy · 06/02/2011 14:29

I wear high heels and the right ones are comfortable and I can wear all day. Although days I on contruction sites obviously don't.

I also wear make up every day as I look 200 years old without.

I believe myself equal to all men, but as always there are those females who feel they are superior to me because they don't either wear heels or make up.

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 14:30

wm, I don't think anyone has implied that on this thread

alexpolismum · 06/02/2011 14:31

I never wear high heels. I dislike the teetering look, the bottom wiggling and so on, and I see no reason why I should do it to myself. However, I do agree with Elephants that it can be difficult finding nice-looking footwear that doesn't have high heels.

This is why the last time I found a good, comfortable pair of flat-heeled boots, I went back the next day and bought another two pairs. I also have three identical pairs of sandals waiting for the summer, I bought them at the end of September last year and they were so comfortable I got plenty. I should be fine for quite a few years now!

I wish I could convince my SIL that she doesn't need to wear heels. I feel so sorry for her. Her feet are always in pain, she can't walk very far and there just doesn't seem to be any reason for her to torture herself. However, she's very unlikely to listen to me on these matters - she already thinks I'm a slob for never wearing make-up and not shaving my legs!

alexpolismum · 06/02/2011 14:33

nobody has suggested that not wearing make-up is superior! Where have you seen that?

FlamingoBingo · 06/02/2011 14:40

Oblomov: "In your 30's I think you need to make a bit more effort than maybe you did before."

Yes, obviously we don't want anyone to see us aging, do we? That would be awful! Fancy anyone thinking we were human beings!

Sorry, but it really grates me that people think that anyone should have to change themselves in any way, shape or form, just to conform to some social idea. As long as you're happy, and not hurting anyone, then do you really think it matters so much how much effort people put into their appearance!?

WM: "as always there are those females who feel they are superior to me because they don't either wear heels or make up"

Who said that? I don't feel superior to people who wear make up. I often wonder if I am more self-confident and have higher self-esteem than women who plaster themselves with make up and can't be seen without it, but that doesn't make me superior to them.

purepurple · 06/02/2011 14:49

I hate wearing high heels and at just under 5'2 I really should, considering as DH is a foot taller than me. But, I just can't be doing with them.
I was lookin at my wedding photos (1987) yesterday and noticed that all my family and friends had flats or court heels on, including me.

alexpolismum · 06/02/2011 14:53

Well, I am in my 30s, and if anything, I make even less effort than I did before, and to be frank, I am much happier for it. It's all to do with self esteem and confidence, I think. Now I am older, I am more confident and don't feel the need to fit in and worry about my appearance as I did when I was younger. So I do as I please.

This is nothing to do with feeling superior, just secure within myself.

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/02/2011 14:57

Actually, I'm with alex on the effort front. I'm 45 and make very little "effort" unless I feel like it. I am gorgeous though

FlamingoBingo · 06/02/2011 15:02

Can't be as gorgeous as me, BelleDame!

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 15:04

belle, yes you are

< waits patiently for reciprocal comment >

< realises that is needy >

BelleDameSansMerci · 06/02/2011 15:09

AF - you are, without doubt, bloody gorgeous. And stylish. I love your style but you have to be willowy to carry it off (unlike curvy me).

Flamingo - don't ruin my illusions!

AnyFucker · 06/02/2011 15:12

< hugs belle >

< squidges her not that curvy curves >

BertieBotts · 06/02/2011 15:12

I don't like wearing heels much. Funnily though I never had much of an opinion on it until an ex-partner (DP at the time, obv) kept going on and on about me wearing them, how I should and making scornful remarks about other shoes. It just made me think "No, why should I wear them, just because someone else wants me to?"

I have a few pairs of shoes with heels but only smallish heels. My boyfriend is the same height as me anyway and it just feels odd to suddenly be taller than him. I also struggle to find nice, smart, non-heeled shoes, though I have a few pairs now which is probably enough for me :)

currently lusting after a pair of these though

alexpolismum · 06/02/2011 15:14

If we're talking about gorgeousness, then sorry to disappoint you all, but you all pale into insignificance next to me. So ner!

LilBB · 06/02/2011 15:15

I'm 24 so maybe I dont need make up thanks to my teenage so greasy that make up slides off youthful skin

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