If you were raped would you report it?

[darleneconnor]

A topical question.

I didn't in the past because I was in denial.

For the sake of my privacy I still wouldn't now. It'd make me feel so guilty leaving someone to go free and maybe do it again but psychologically I coudln't cope with a court case and all that goes with it.

The organisers of the list could also act as a referral service to survivor organisations or counselling. The women could also be given the opportunity to have a physical examination / give other evidence - only if they wanted to - so that it would be on record if they later wanted to take matters further, and to make sure that they were cared for on STD,PG, emotionally etc

maybe someone could start a new thread on this?

my ex raped me on 3 occassions when we were together. i was too scared to report it at the time.

i reported it a few years later once we were no longer together and he was arrested but due to lack of evidence and the fact he denied it, it wasn't taken further.

Thank you it was hard at the time, but I feel it enabled me to move on better and I am sad by the amount of people who are given poor support and help.

I did some research after and I think the system needs changing many mothers whose children have been raped are advised against pursuing for the sanity of their child. I think something obviously needs to change to make it less traumatic for the victim be it a child or a woman.

I think a list would be a better idea than a 'name and shame' website.
Would it only work on a small scale, or would it work on a large scale too?
I could imagine a woman who was attacked drawing a great deal of strength from knowing it wasn't just her.
I wonder what the legality of such a database would be, given all the civil liberties stink that gets kicked up over other types of database

You could not do the website you would be charged with libel surely?

this thread makes me cry. I feel shattered to read that so many of you have been the victims of rape- I wish I could hug every single one of you.

And I feel angry and powerless that reporting a rape ends up being just as traumatic as the rape itself. Truly we have no hopes, as women.

Out of interest does anyone know what the rates of conviction are for male rape cases?

They were posted on another thread earlier. The actual conviction rates are pretty high for both male and female rape - both more than 50% IIRC - it's getting to court in the first place that's the difficulty.

I wondered if more/less males reported a rape it is interesting to see that they have a similar conviction rate though.

Libel only kicks in when there is "publication". This list would be kept secret. Perhaps the law needs to be changed to ensure that a name can then be passed to the police, and the man questioned, without the publishers (the holders of the list) being sued for libel as long as there was no malice.

Anyway, there must be some kind of exemption from libel when people report stuff to the police, surely? I would have thought misreporting a crime maliciously would be covered by a different, more robust regime, like "wasting police time" if the allegations were patently false. Surely not everyone who reports a crime is then guilty of libel if they can't prove the allegation to be true otherwise nobody would ever dare report any crime where they knew the name of the person who committed it....

Not more than 50% then, sorry

Thanks lenin that is a disgusting figure, and it is shameful that rape victims cannot feel sucure and supported enough to report

I also missed your last post I have just read it now thank you.

undertheboredwalk Mon 08-Nov-10 20:12:25
No I wouldn't. I was raped 10yrs ago, I reported it and was put through hell and it didn't even get to court. No way would I put myself through that again.

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I was raped when I was 17 and ended up pregnant (which I terminated), I didn't report it at the time as I was so shocked and upset. I didn't even tell my parents who would have probably castrated the guy if they ever saw him!

I'm, happy, married and with 3 wonderful kids (the eldest kid being 20).

I used to work with children/young people who had been sexually abused. It is not an easy decision and many respects it is a very personal one. I was fortunate to be pastoral support a young lady that reported. It was a very drawn-out process (two years) before a 14 year conviction was brought. The process was extremely unsettling for her and she needed emotional support(and psychological intervention) along the way. I think it takes real 'balls' to re-visit what happened and to detail that to others. But I can also say that the pay out if they are convicted is massive. Good luck with any decisions.

Never again!

I was also raped, 11 years ago. My attackers case went to court and he pleaded not guilty on the grounds of mistaken identity, he allegedly mistook me for his girlfriend. He admitted to drugging me to a state of unconsciousness just before the attack though and got a few hours of community service for that. He was found not guilty of the attack. Even as I type this I'm aware of how ridiculous that sounds.

Fucking bastard, he ruined my life, everybody sees the not guilty verdict and assumes I made it all up, even though he admitted to drugging me and having sex with me while I was out of it.

Absolutely not. From the moment it started I 100% knew it would go no further. 24 hours before that I would have said yes, so you can't know if you haven't been there.

(9 Nov 2007)

jennie - how on earth did they believe that? So sorry for what happened to you, and indeed everyone on this thread. :(

'he mistook her for his girlfriend'
'he was from a foreign country and didn't understand the word 'no''

I think nonplato 's idea of a list like they have in some places in America is a great idea. I would definately want to put what I know onto some kind of list/database. I dont feel likeI'll ever get 'closure' until I've done something like that.

Libel is only an issue if it is a lie and the man can prove she is lying so I dont see how that is much of a barrier.

Do you think if we put up identifying details here the posts will get pulled?