A mother's amazing blog about gender sterotypes

[AnnieLobeseder]

I am so impressed by this women's strength, but more so by her little boy. I wish more people thought like the both of them....

LeninGuido - fair enough. My kids just saw the picture and now want wigs for xmas. As if! I hate that stuff wigs are made of, especially when it gets matted.

Poor kid. Why couldn't he be Buzz Lightyear or something and just gave a nice time?

Why doesn't she dress up next time, eh?

I think this mother is showing a terrible, unfeeling attitude towards her son.

From listening to an interview with the mother on CNN it seems the child did have a lovely time.

Impressed by her strength?

I see no strength at all. She shows no respect for her child, he just seems to be an appendage to her lifestyle.

Aye

He is a child, not an accessory

And many little boys like dressing up sparkly frilly clothes. It's not a problem.

That whole 'my son is gay' crap. He's 5!

Did you read the post Commander - that is what the mother said too. You are agreeing with her.

It is in the DM on ABC website. Pretty much all over the internet.

Absolutely unfair for her son to be exposed to this.

No. She should have listened to his uncertainty and used her judgement as a parent. That means remembering that his is a small child and that he cannot know the reaction he might get in this context.

She should not have put him on the Internet as an example of how fucking great she is.

Has she thought about what might happen if his s hoolfriends find this blog in about 7 years time?

Because the pix are out there on the Internet forever now.

A lot of people write about their children though. There is no way she could of known this post would go viral. If you read the post before she refers (as a joke obviously) to her 'two readers'.

This sort of thing is why I don't write about my children. Even if one chooses to do it anonymously people find out who you really are.

Thanks earwicga, I wouldn't have talked him in to it though...

I do agree with the poster who said that there's something a bit adult about the costume!! very professionally adult. I had a look at it again and he looks like he should be on stage! Not knocking on doors asking for nuts and apples!

True, Earwicga. I do not post much about my dc on my blog and rarely use pics that show their faces.

Still, once it started to get circulated and she was suddenly getting thousands of hits, she could have taken it down. It is now in the mainstream press and her sons photo is still there.

She has not in any way attempted to conceal her sons identity.

Yes, he might be gay, he mgiht be transgender but the chances are that he'll be morto at this when he's 14.... heaven help him.

There's no point in removing the image now though is there? I find the image with the face blurred quite disturbing tbh. Perhaps this is related to the posts above saying it is an adult costume.

The mother sounds like a complete narcissist.

He changed his mind but still made him wear it anyway, to completely predictable (and depressing) results. She was probably writing her blog in her head as she drove him to the party.

She has grossly invaded his privacy.

read it, not really fussed. friends little boy loves barbies, etc. he is fab.

dd3 loves all boys things, got told once by an older child that her water bottle was for boys (pirates) ad she replied with 'no, its for ME!!!'

it's just the lack of a plan b that i find worrying, tbh. does seem a bit narcissistic to write a blog about him as well... and the photo... i dunno. does he have the right to privacy? is this going to make things better or worse for him? and whose responsibility is that? tricky.

but yes, basically, i'd have had a plan b.

I'm with Dittany et al on the outfit being way too adult.

I wouldn't let either of my DD's wear that at age 5.

I am really torn.

I do agree the costume is a bit sexualised and inappropriate.

It isn't very nice that her DS realised that he was going to get laughed at, and she shook it off. I really don't buy the "surely they wouldn't laugh" business - she would have to be pretty insensitive not to know. But I think in her position I would have tried to persuade him to stick with it, saying "well they might laugh, but that's their problem, you, me and your friends know you look fantastic". If he'd really really insisted I would have let him back down, but if he was only slightly unsure I would have persuaded him to wear it.

The trouble is, once you "let" DCs back down and miss out on doing something because others will laugh, where does it end?

My DD(5) was invited to a roller skating party. None of the other girls her age were going because apparently "roller skating is a boy thing" . Should I have said to her "don't go, the boys will laugh at you, and then the girls will laugh at you for being friends with the boys?" She had a fantastic time, loved roller skating, no-one laughed, were we just lucky?

The level of gender separation for DD as a 5 year old is amazing. Can't play with boys, can't wear blue, can't even do a Roary the Racing Car jigsaw according to a child at our party. And I think making a small stand against it when DD as an independent child wants to do something is the only way (and while she's still young enough not to self-censor and turn down things she'd love to do, because girls "don't do them").

Captain - "She should not have put him on the Internet as an example of how fucking great she is." - I totally agree. Another issue - DCs privacy. IMO this will probably get legislated against and parents won't be allowed to invade DCs privacy in this way. MmeLindt I've seen your blog and I think how you do it is perfect, namely, no faces.

your example isn;t exactly a good comparison

Roller skating isn't a gendered thing in any way - wearing a dress and wig is

If a girl or boy wants to do or play in a stereotypically gendered way - then that's fine. Let boys have dolls and girls have trucks, encourage individuality and lose some of these outdated gendered thoughts

In this case, she has let a little boy go out in a sex kitten girls outfit, told him that people won't laugh or pass comment and then watched this little boy learn a harsh reality. Will he believe her next time? Will he lose self confidence in his individuality? Of course he will. Even worse, she has now shown the world, this child could be damaged forever over this episode

This woman might argue that "dressing up for Halloween" isn't a gendered thing. This is what I think she means when she asks "who would laugh at a kid in a Halloween costume".

Rollerskating - or any sport - becomes gendered if only one gender does it.

Allarmbells
Thanks

I am not keen on emphasizing the whole gender stereotypes to the children.

My dd goes to football practice and we have never made a fuss about it being a boy's game. Both DS and DD will shortly be starting gymnastics.

We just do it, I don't blog about it or preach about it.

In he same way that sometimes DH mops or irons, I think that living the example is much better than making an example out of it.

I think to me there is a big difference between "activities" and clothes. Girls are girls and boys are boys. This a biological fact. Agree fully that boys shouldn;t be dressed in blue and girls in pink, but this BOY went out dressed as a GIRL. He is not a girl and neither should he be an experiment on the behalf of his mother to show how cool or liberated SHE is.

The toy thing is a totally different. I see no problem with boys with pushchairs, or girls with toolkits. Every child should be encouraged to cook, or build or get dirty and know that they can work in any career they want to.