A mother's amazing blog about gender sterotypes

[AnnieLobeseder]

I am so impressed by this women's strength, but more so by her little boy. I wish more people thought like the both of them....

How the hell is the costume sexy? It's a dress, tights and a cardigan.

Can't say I see what's sexy about that costume. Or adult.

Ah, we are pornified AnnieLobeseder!

Dittany is right.

He first said that he wanted to have the costume then realised that he would be mocked. He changed his mind. Long before they arrived at school.

She brushed him off. Then was surprised that her son had known that he would be mocked. Really? She did not expect this?

Ok, no idea what is going on here between Dittany and Earwigca so am going to leave it alone. Can we have a discussion without old arguments being brought into them?

Pack it in dittany. I looked at the picture and the child is wearing a cardigan. Also shows boot covers over trainers. It's not a sexy or pornified costume. Lucy Locket had a 'tiny handbag' as well. I've also made the other point you are making further up the thread.

I agree with upwind and Dittany

I have no issues with trans but this woman should have gone with the little boy when he said he was scared of teasing. Of course people would tease or comment and she was wrong to say that they wouldn't

I have grown up with my brother who happens to be a very camp gay man, he had to (rightly or wrongly) learn that this world can be cruel and he learnt to conform. Dressing as Daphne (who does represent 'sex kitten') is wrong on so many levels.

If he wants to dress as a princess, let him do it at home or at places where heads will not turn. Don't let him go into a situation where he will be teased and lose self confidence.

We had no gendered toys assigned to gender in this house and my son was happy as larry to carry handbags, push a buggy, breastfeed a doll, wear posh frocks etc but he did it at home or around family and close friends (my brother loved it!) I wouldn't have let him go to school dressed in the dress (he did take the handbag tho) He isn't gay either

Liberal Conspiracy is a public forum on which you were able to comment on dittany. Why would you be scared of people looking at your previous comments on a public forum?

Agree with you scaredoflove - it made me feel uncomfortable to read that the child changed his mind but the mother seemed to take no account of it. But then she knows her child better than me so I have an open opinion on it.

But why should boys playing with 'girls' toys or being dressed in 'girls' clothes be restricted to their own home, as if it's something shameful that needs to be hidden?

I would agree that if the boy really wanted to take the costume off, she should have respected his wishes.

But I really believe that we need more mums like this women, who are just as proud to take their sons out in clothes deemed for girls as I would be to take my girls out in clothes deemed to be for boys. And I long for the day when neither is seen as any more acceptable than the other.

But why should boys playing with 'girls' toys or being dressed in 'girls' clothes be restricted to their own home, as if it's something shameful that needs to be hidden?

It doesn't need to be hidden but you don't want to open up your child to ridicule. Growing up a bit different isn't easy. My brother went through hell growing up. He is camp, always has been. Having witnessed his pain, through just being him, I wouldn't ever want a child of mine to go through it

None of my children had girls/boys toy, they had toys. He was happy to take out his pram, along with his handbag but going out in full princess outfit, complete with heels...would only bring him ridicule

I don't agree that's how it should be but thats how it is. I would love the world to change but until it does, it's my responsibility to help him grow with self confidence, teasing and ridicule will eat that away

Beautifully put Lenin. Quite right.

Dittany
As I said, I have no idea about the background but I do know that you are a long-standing and respected poster on MN and I would hope that whatever unpleasantness that has gone on before would not be dragged from thread to thread or indeed across fora. I can understand you being upset by that.

I agree with Lenin. And Scaredoflove. While it would be fantastic if we could let our children do what they want, dress how they want, we do live in a world that is less accepting of boys dressing up as girls. When it comes down to standing up for the principle or protecting my own child, I know which course of action I would take.

Another blog about a 'pink boy' www.sarahhoffmanwriter.com/

Hmm

I am happy to challenge gender stereotypes myself as an adult I have the self esteem/confidence/experience to cope with insults or catcalls

having said that would be times I might be reluctant to out if fear for my personal safety

However i really don't think a 5 year old is capable of making these choices, or dealing with the fallout from them