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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Victims of Violence

519 replies

Treats · 19/10/2010 12:57

So - this is the first thread I've started within the Feminism section, but I'm a long-time lurker and occasional poster.

I've been motivated to start a thread by this story from last week, and then also by this both in the last few days. (There was another one too but i can't find the link at the moment).

Every few weeks, it seems to me from reading the newspapers, a woman is killed by her husband or lover. Sometimes her children are harmed too.

My DH would like to argue that every single murder is an isolated incident, and caused entirely by factors only relevant to that one man. I argue that these cases are manifestations of misogyny, and that these are not isolated examples, but are all linked. He finds this an uncomfortable point of view, because of what it suggests about him, about us, about our friends.

I think that misogyny is similar to an epidemic - say, swine flu. It's infectious. It affects a significant proportion of the population, but not all. Of those affected, only a minority are severely affected. But it can be fatal - not for the sufferer, but for those close to them.

I don't know how many others here agree with me, but I do see a number of posts from some people who most definitely wouldn't. So the thread I want to start is to collect examples of victims of misogynist violence - women who were killed because they subverted their husbands and boyfriends desire to control them. I want people who visit this board with doubts about why feminism is necessary and justified to read my thread with its examples of victims and to start joining the dots for themselves.

Those posters who think that misandry is equivalent to misogyny are free to post their examples too (of women killing men).

If this thread (or something like it) already exists, then please point me to it and I will post there.

OP posts:
HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 10/05/2011 17:31

Joanna Yeates. She wasn't killed by her partner but she knew her killer and he lived in the same building (next door flat).

Prolesworth · 12/05/2011 23:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JemAndTheHolograms · 13/05/2011 20:12

Kelsey Shaw She was a friend of my DSD. Sad

AyeRobot · 17/05/2011 19:49

Ruth Jacobs

AyeRobot · 17/05/2011 20:08

Rebecca Thorpe

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 18/05/2011 23:25

Claire George, allegedly killed by a male neighbour

vesuvia · 19/05/2011 10:33

This thread has been running for 7 months and lists about 70 women who have been murdered in that time.

Horrific and heartbreaking.

AyeRobot · 21/05/2011 00:19

Julie Dorsett

She went missing in 2002 and her body was discovered in 2008. Her former partner has been arrested.

AyeRobot · 21/05/2011 00:22

I don't know why the last line of the report mentions her working as a prostitute at the time of her disappearance.

queenofthecapitalwasteland · 27/05/2011 08:47

Angela Hoyt
Apparently her ex-boyfriend is wanted for questioning but no previous DV is mentioned.

AyeRobot · 30/05/2011 00:16

queen, it looks like he's done the decent thing and done away with himself.

I am sure I saw Treats earlier. Did you show your DH the thread?

MissClavel · 30/05/2011 12:11

RIP Angela Hoyt. Strong, passionate, principled and incredibly good fun.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 01/06/2011 12:30

:(

Did you know her, MissClavel?

MissClavel · 02/06/2011 10:13

I did, Elephants. Hadn't seen her for a couple of years though as lives moved in different directions.

It's hard to say this without it coming out wrong, but I will try: she was the most gutsy person, the person who would never hesitate to speak her mind, the person whose smile lit the room. She was the least 'victim' ish person I've ever met. I suppose I'm trying to say that the women this happens to aren't the weak cowering victims of the stereotype. Often they're supremely strong, and I imagine in Angela's case that it was that that drew that bastard to her in the first place.

And I'm sure that applies to many other women in this thread too.
Sad

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 02/06/2011 10:57

I'm so sorry.

She sounds like an amazing person, what an absolute bastard that man was to take her away from her family and friends that loved her. And I read that she'd gone to the police for help - another woman let down by them it seems :(

AyeRobot · 04/06/2011 08:28

Mandy Finn RIP

queenofthecapitalwasteland · 06/06/2011 16:42

Christine Chambers and daughter Shania

I don't even look for these stories, they just stare you in the face evry day Sad It just gets to me that every time a police spokesperson says "Yes, we failed so-and-so but lessons have been learnt" and barely a week goes by without another family destroyed, another woman failed Sad Angry

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 06/06/2011 16:52

I was just going to post that, queen. What a bloody surprise that the police have been called before.

There needs to be a Stephen Lawrence-style inquiry into institutionalised sexism that prevents these crimes being taken seriously, and women's worries being taken seriously, until it's too late.

queenofthecapitalwasteland · 06/06/2011 17:01

Too bloody right Elephants, why does it have to always go this far? How can so many forces miss all these warning signs that neighbours and relatives warn them about? I can't help but think that one visit should be emough to put people on some sort of 'at risk list' which is consulted every time a report is made. grrr, still angry....

DuelingFanjo · 07/06/2011 10:54

so, so awful :(

aliceliddell · 07/06/2011 11:01

I just put Christine & Shania on a new thread because I am too thick to rememberforgot about this one. Elephants - agree re Stephen Lawrence type campaign. What do we think about contacting Women's Aid about that idea?

aliceliddell · 07/06/2011 11:03

I am nevergoing to work out how to use that strikethrough thingy

aliceliddell · 07/06/2011 11:04

FFS! See?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 07/06/2011 14:15

There's a long thread about the case here, with other people suggesting that MN should do a campaign. I would be right behind that. All these women, all these children.

AyeRobot · 08/06/2011 00:28

Aytul Serbetli