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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Victims of Violence

519 replies

Treats · 19/10/2010 12:57

So - this is the first thread I've started within the Feminism section, but I'm a long-time lurker and occasional poster.

I've been motivated to start a thread by this story from last week, and then also by this both in the last few days. (There was another one too but i can't find the link at the moment).

Every few weeks, it seems to me from reading the newspapers, a woman is killed by her husband or lover. Sometimes her children are harmed too.

My DH would like to argue that every single murder is an isolated incident, and caused entirely by factors only relevant to that one man. I argue that these cases are manifestations of misogyny, and that these are not isolated examples, but are all linked. He finds this an uncomfortable point of view, because of what it suggests about him, about us, about our friends.

I think that misogyny is similar to an epidemic - say, swine flu. It's infectious. It affects a significant proportion of the population, but not all. Of those affected, only a minority are severely affected. But it can be fatal - not for the sufferer, but for those close to them.

I don't know how many others here agree with me, but I do see a number of posts from some people who most definitely wouldn't. So the thread I want to start is to collect examples of victims of misogynist violence - women who were killed because they subverted their husbands and boyfriends desire to control them. I want people who visit this board with doubts about why feminism is necessary and justified to read my thread with its examples of victims and to start joining the dots for themselves.

Those posters who think that misandry is equivalent to misogyny are free to post their examples too (of women killing men).

If this thread (or something like it) already exists, then please point me to it and I will post there.

OP posts:
HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 10/02/2011 20:45

Margaret Kibuuka

She had started divorce proceedings (so yet another one trying to leave). He drugged the children before killing her and then tried to kill himself.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 10/02/2011 21:02

All these women :(

Do you notice how nearly all - or is it all - of these women had suffered domestic violence for years, or throughout their relationships? So much for "he just snapped".

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 10/02/2011 21:06

Yes it is definitely a recurrent theme. That's why I can't understand Susie Smith's killer only being found guilty for manslaughter.

Rhadegunde · 10/02/2011 21:13

Lien Li Angelis

Her husband has been convicted of her murder and given a life sentence.

www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2011/02/10/ottawa-angelis-sentence-life.html

All these women though. Sad

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 10/02/2011 22:05

Claire Webster allegedly killed by her husband to enable him to claim on her insurance. He is also accused of attempting to murder his second wife, Felicity Drumm.

Rhadegunde · 11/02/2011 14:19

Two beautiful babies killed by their father to punish their mother:

Alessia and Livia

www.cbc.ca/world/story/2011/02/11/swiss-father-twins-missing-letter.html

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 11/02/2011 16:32

That is horrendous, Rhad :(

Amrit Kaur Ubhi, killed by her father Gurmeet Singh Ubhi for having a Western boyfriend. This gives more details on the case, incluing the fact that the killer's second marriage broke down after he attacked his wife with a chisel.

Amrit's brother "said a few months before Amrit's death his father told him: 'I have reached my limit and I will kill one of them if needs be if they push me too far.'

"He was talking about my mother and my sister."

Rhadegunde · 15/02/2011 12:20

Joy Small killed yesterday by her husband. He also killed their children: Aubarr Aziz and Chanarra.

HandDivedScallopsrgreat · 17/02/2011 22:31

Marie Stewart - fiance charged with her murder. Found in a suitcase after being missing for two months.

Rhadegunde - that's awful. All the children killed as well as well as the women.

mdavza · 19/02/2011 12:34

And now Marie Stewart's fiance claims he was 'provoked' into killing her? Please tell me this is not a serious defence?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 25/02/2011 00:15

Corby Craze killed by a man she had just met at the pub, who then set the house on fire with her in it.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 25/02/2011 00:17

Lucy Landry stabbed by her estranged husband and left to die while he went to deliver money to his mistress. He claimed provocation on the basis that she was also in another relationship, a justification disregarded by the court by the sound of it.

mdavza · 28/02/2011 19:33

Just wondered if we shouldn't make this a Twitter thread as well?

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 28/02/2011 22:19

I don't know what that means

Treats · 02/03/2011 12:27

Gabrielle Grady. Apparently her mother was 'warned' by her father....... Evil.

OP posts:
dittany · 03/03/2011 19:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Quodlibet · 04/03/2011 11:05

More UK citizens are killed every year by their violent male partners than are killed in Iraq/Afghanistan:

Women killed by a partner - average 104 a year according to Women's Aid

Men killed in 2010 in Operation Enduring Freedom (Iraq and Afghanistan) - 103.

I appreciate that there's a massive difference between those two sets of circumstances, but it feels like these female deaths barely register on the public consciousness in comparison to soldiers. And they weren't even in the line of fire.

I agree with you OP - I think violence is contagious.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/03/2011 11:27

A woman from Halesowen, named locally as Margaret Wathen who was strangled on Wednesday night.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 04/03/2011 11:30

Zoe Nelson who was 17, alleged to have been killed by her ex-boyfriend Robert Bane.

BingBongSong · 15/03/2011 11:46

Lisa Whyte, whose ex-fiancee stabbed her in the neck.

He has been jailed for at least 10 years. The court heard he was trying to kill himself after she called off the wedding, when she got in the way.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 15/03/2011 19:23

Jeez, this is an upsetting thread.
Really worth doing, though.

These are the dramatic deaths. I wonder how many are indirectly killed by spouses/boyfriends/exes etc.?

Example: a dear friend's sister died of alcoholism. She became an alcoholic when in an abusive relationship and never managed to put it behind her.

That man was indirectly responsible for her death. And I bet the example I've given isn't uncommon. I bet there are thousands of woman driven to drink/drugs/suicide because of abusive treatment from a man they thought they loved.

Sad

So many lives ruined. Bastards.

mdavza · 16/03/2011 20:09

Jia Ashton, murdered in Derbyshire by a male suspect.

FruitbatAuntie · 19/03/2011 11:21

Nicola Holden, murdered by her husband last week just down the road from me.

Apparently they were having some 'marital difficulties' which, as everyone knows, makes it perfectly understandable when your husband decides to strangle you. Just couldn't help it, you know?

dittany · 19/03/2011 12:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sakura · 19/03/2011 12:10

I bet the mother knew he was a nutcase but the courts forced her to let him have contact