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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Women - know your limits

41 replies

BibiBlocksberg · 17/10/2010 11:56

Not posted in this section before but have been an avid reader for the last two weeks.

Just came across this article and it's made me hopping mad!!! Stuff like that drove me to read up on feminism in the first place.

Women - stop thinking you can have ANY kind of life outside the home. And do remember to thank your husband/partner for doing virtually sod all while you've been away!

www.parentdish.co.uk/2010/10/04/is-a-weekend-away-ever-worth-the-welcome-home-mess-and-stress/?icid=main|uk-ws-bb|dl4|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.parentdish.co.uk%2F2010%2F10%2F04%2Fis-a-weekend-away-ever-worth-the-welcome-home-mess-and-stress%2F

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BibiBlocksberg · 17/10/2010 11:57

....ooops, sorry for hideously long link...!

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snowflake69 · 17/10/2010 13:37

If a woman does all that before she goes away then she must need her headtesting. Who in their right mind gets the clothes ready for the kids before they go away?

I dont understand women with this kind of mentality at all. I regularly go on trips with the girls either for weekends/nights away about once a month. I have never left any food or organised anything for my husband and he would think I had gone mental if I had.

EvilAntsAndMiasmas · 17/10/2010 15:17

Link here

booooooooooyhoo · 17/10/2010 15:27

madness!!!

my mum would have done exactly the same. silly woman.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 17/10/2010 15:41

'Who in their right mind gets the clothes ready for the kids before they go away?'

I tried doing that when I weekly commuted and was away from home several days a week: dh, while highly domestic, was utterly clueless re dcs clothes - he would attempt to wrestle dd into her baby brother's top and complain it was too small for her, and that kind of thing. Completely failed though as he just ignored the outfits I got ready.

will read link now.

Miggsie · 17/10/2010 15:42

My friend at uni used to do this, because her husband refused to do any housework because "it was beneath his dignity".

HerBeatitude · 17/10/2010 15:44

I just got too angry to read to the end.

When I read articles like that, and the comments from some of the wanky men underneath, I am glad I'm a single parent.

Would rather know the whole burden falls on me, than have any illusions that being loved and cherished, means being treated as a skivvy.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 17/10/2010 15:44

oh that is utterly hilarious! I love the way she describes a scene of complete carnage and incompetence and then advises 'Do remember to thank your husband.'

DooinMeCleanin · 17/10/2010 15:46

Er, if I cam home to that after a weekend away I would walk out again and refuse to come home until it was fixed. Who the hell wrote that? She has to be 80 and/or a man surely?

DH is not great at being home with the kids because he is not used to it. He finds it stressful and struggles to manage everything at once. But he can manage to get them dressed, bathed and wash any uniform they might need.

I wouldn't expect the house to be be perfect, or indeed even in the same state I left it in, but I know he would at least try to organise everything.

cornsilk · 17/10/2010 15:49

doesn't sound like carnage to me tbh. So what if her husband took the kids out for lunch instead of eating her lasagne or didn't clean out the lunchboxes. Getting their knickers in a twist for nothing I reckon.

sethstarkaddersmummyreturns · 17/10/2010 15:56

I take your point Cornsilk.

(where has your Halloween name gone btw? it was one of the best.)

Butterbur · 17/10/2010 15:56

Well I still remember the time I had to go into hospital at short notice. DH brought DS1, aged 2, in to see me in the shorts I'd bought for next summer, which came to his ankles, and a pair of red wellies.

I've rarely laughed that hard, but the old lady next to me adored him.

HerBeatitude · 17/10/2010 15:57

I didn't get as far as a description of the "carnage" Grin

DooinMeCleanin · 17/10/2010 16:03

Ah yes I can always tell when DH has dressed them. Fortunately if they are going anywhere they should look presentable dd1 steps in and tells Dh what dd2 should wear and what trousers/skirts go with which tops.

She also has to remind to feed the pets occassionally. He would do it of his own accord, just not neccessarily at the right time. Dd1 is very particular about how they should be cared for and always reminds him if he is late for feeds/walks.

AnnieLoBOOseder · 17/10/2010 16:10

Article is 1950s bullshit, but most of the comments below, from men and women, seem to be fair enough. There are plenty of men saying they'd be horrified if their wife thought so little of their abilities that she needed to prepare everything before going away.

I felt quite encouraged!

Blackduck · 17/10/2010 16:17

Thank your husband??!! Thank him for what, looking after HIS children.........

I am about to go away for a weekend and if dp is lucky I will leave stuff in the freezer and say 'There is stuff in the freezer', beyond that it is up to him

EleanorHauntedHandbasket · 17/10/2010 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

edam · 17/10/2010 16:23

'dressed by Dad' is the phrase used in our house. I don't know what goes on in dh's head but am very glad ds is now seven and more in control of what he wears. Dh seems to be unable to tell which clothes actually fit - have had days where I've come home to discover ds in far-too-small tops and far-too-large trousers, or swimming shorts (with no pants) and a jumper, or completely clashing colours and patterns.

Worst thing is, dh keeps attempting to buy clothes for ds, and ALWAYS buys then at least two sizes too big. He's got it into his head that ds is tall. This is true. But he is seven - it may be worth trying age eight, but not age 10, fgs.

The he goes round to his Mum's and brings home some of his nephew's old clothes for ds. Which are always at least size 'four years older than ds is'. And not my cup of tea, either. WHY does dh not realise 'Oh, I've never seen ds in clothes featuring Marvel comics characters before, I wonder why that is?'

Apart from that, yes, men are perfectly capable of housework and childcare. Grin

childrenofthecornsilk · 17/10/2010 16:41

sethstark I nearly forgot about my halloween name Grin

Blackduck · 17/10/2010 20:10

I really don't get the dressing thing - as long as ds is dressed and the clothes are clean (well at least were when he initally put them on) I don't care....but then I was greeted at a train station with ds dressed as an Ancient Egyptian the other day on his insistance!

AliceWorld · 17/10/2010 20:12

You know that's precisely what I was thinking but I put it down to me not being the greatest at working out what matches for myself! Grin

Blackduck · 17/10/2010 20:16

AliceWorld :) I certainly could never lose ds - his favourite outfit at the moment is lime green shorts and a long mustard coloured indian shirt (ohh my eyes!!)

edam · 17/10/2010 21:49

I wouldn't mind if ds was dressed as an ancient Egyptian, but clothes that actually fit him would be nice, are appropriate for the weather and vaguely match would be nice...

BibiBlocksberg · 17/10/2010 23:06

Lol lol lol at being greeted by an ancient egyptian Blackduck Grin

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Blackduck · 18/10/2010 07:13

Complete with king tut style head dress I might add :)