Feminism chat thread

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

Hello

Been saying for ages that it'd be nice to have an area for just saying hi, letting off some steam and sharing the little things that don't warrant a whole thread.

So, I'll start...

My brother made me :o:o:o last night when we were talking about some crap sexist song. And he said (in all honesty) - well this is just one of the millions of ways the patriarchy keeps itself going.

Also got the updated email from the Feminism in London conference this morning - can't wait.

Anyone else?

not just that it's the done thing: for many other reasons besides. I loved school, but mothers don't have to defend school. School just is .

Marshmallows so early in the morning? I'm thinking a porridge fountain. what on earth is that book about an endless porridge pot. I recall loving the sound of that. Seems odd now, why porridge??

Oooo yes I loved that! Why I don't even recall liking porridge.

I am still on a sad quest for vegetarian marshmallows. They are one of the few things I very occasionally eat despite the gelatine content.

How about strawberries, miraculously grown under straw, and possibly hot water bottles, so as to ripen in February? :)

I loved the magic porridge pot too. For me I think the crucial element was that the porridge came in lots of different flavours. Cinnamon for the morning then maybe tomato soup flavour at lunch, roast beef in the evening, chocolate flavour for pudding etc :o

But then maybe I'm just remembering ...

I'm not keen on marshmallows unless they're toasted over a bonfire. Then they get this lovely crunchy crust on them and are quite delicious.

you could eat jelly in Japan, Elephants. It's made from seaweed not pigs- tastes exactly the same as normal jelly but a slightly different texture.

I don't feel guilty about anything I do or don't do with or for dd. Or no more than anything else. I think a lot of it is probably wrong but I generally think I am a bit shit so it doesn't cause me unusual mental friction to do things badly that I wish I could do better. I'm too tired and too rubbish and like everything else I am just getting through the day without, ideally, anyone dying or getting arrested. In its own dark despairing way it's a paradoxically cheerful way to be. In theory.

It's not that I don't know about doing more things and doing them better. I just can't. So why think about it?

Anyway here is what I came here to say: why can nothing be done ever about anything that goes wrong with you when you are pregnant? I was overjoyed that I had been recommended an osteopath who thinks he can treat SPD. It has to be paid for tho and I thought I would be covered through work's health insurance - but as it pregnancy related, it is not. so I can't afford it. Why does pregnancy magically disqualify you from so many things? why do I not count just because there is a miniature human being temporarily living inside me?

And I am really fucked off with people pushing me around because I am slow. Next one gets a hard kick in the shins.

you're not slow vezzie

Pregnancy has been totally taken over by the patriarchy. It's funny how they're dying to get you flat on your back for tests when it's unecessary, but when the mother wants something from the medical system they're not interested.

God sAf & vezzie you're so right about the menstrual/pregnancy pain = normal thing. I wonder if there are still some people out there who think that women are supposed to suffer from periods and childbirth as some kind of divine punishment (thanks, Bible).

good news for Japanese vegetarian jelly fans, sakura :) I have managed to find veggie jelly crystals in a local shop actually, it's brilliant, sets far faster and is made of (I think) pectin.

32 weeks so not long to go.
It's ok - I have a physically easy job.

that pent-up rage of SPD - yes, it does build up - last time I flipped out at a bus driver who was mean to me because I took too long to get on the bus and he was EXCORIATED.

Oh vezzie - been there done that. I raged at the physio hospital I was sent to because I had to park about half a mile away. Kind of painful when you can't walk very far. I was virtually in tears but thankfully they were very nice!
With regards it being temporary - in my case I can still feel it turning over in bed and moving sideways (don't ask - badminton related!) 17 months after giving birth so I don't think that it is necessarily that temporary (sorry voice of doom here - I am sure I am the exception!).

HandDivedScallops - exactly that happened to me at the physio appointment in my last pregnancy! I was barely mobile for a week afterwards because I had to park so far away, then she made me walk up the stairs (there was a lift - why did I let that happen? I think I was a bit mad then - ha ha this has just occurred to me as a literal case of esprit d'escalier) and the actual appointment consisted of her teaching me exercises I was already doing from a brilliant DVD recommended by a mumsnetter. Also she kept trying to make me do things I couldn't do and looking disappointed with me and making me feel like a slacker. I KNOW MY BODY IS NOT WORKING PROPERLY THAT IS WHY I AM HERE STOP TUTTING. I did not say.

This time I will not bother with the GP as that palaver was worse than nothing.

I am sorry you are still feeling it. Last time I was getting twinges after 9 months but a few months after that pretty much ok - so I hope you are still getting better.

DISCLAIMER: I would like to clarify that in persisting with the exercise DVD recommended at no charge by a mumsnetter, rather than seeking professional advice, I am in no way advocating the Big Society. Most conditions cannot be treated by DVDs and the NHS is a vital part of our society.

I suspect a trip to the GP is in order. They might do something about it now I'm not pregnant .

Good point, Scallops, you're legit!

love the disclaimer, Vezzie, might have to print some virtual labels with that on.

There's a treat over at hotmail home page today - 12 Ways to Know He's The One.

All fairly basic stuff, with a few notable exceptions, for instance:

"He's employed

Or if he's not employed, he's bright and ambitious. Sorry to come over all practical here, but we can't escape evolution. Women are drawn to men who can provide.

You may not want children for ages, or at all. But part of you is still attracted to a man who either has resources, or who looks like he will get them in the future. In the distant past, when desires evolved, it was the man who would literally bring home the bacon and make sure your children survived."

Oh really. I think looking for someone who's employed or ambitious is a good idea, too. But not because when desires evolved my female ancestors were looking for blokes who could apparently hunt, kill and retrieve bacon FFS. I've never seen a bacon in the wild, you know

Obviously none of their readers have jobs of their own, or might prefer a man whose ambition is to look after the kids and keep the house nice then?

Gosh Elephants don't we purty ladies want the moon on a stick these days? Employed? goodness gracious - such high aspirations. 'Has own teeth' and ' asks before he boards' are #2 and 3 I suppose?

Re menstruation my friend has a fascinating theory that actually there's no evolutionary advantage to PMS therefore it's much more likely that women are naturally actually pretty pissed off and get a little more soft and kittenish around ovulation. I like this theory. :)

I have had a really unfeminist experience today :(

I have just spent the afternoon with an acquaintance I really like (could become a friend sort of thing) telling me she is going to see a surgeon re her 'boob job' next week. she said she doesn't want to tell people because they'll try to talk her out of it and she's made up her mind. Have been spending a bit of time here of late and feel utterly shit that IRL I just didn't feel there was anything I could do about her self mutilation. :(

"A general rule I follow is that if public opinion is against it, it's probably contrary to the patriarchy in some way."

Excellent rule of thumb.

That, Unruly, is an EXCELLENT theory. God, does that mean I'm naturally rather a crybaby and need 12 hours sleep a night then? And ovulation just makes me a mite more cheerful, and want to stay up late? Could be, could be.

I will be repeating this theory to everyone I meet from now on interested parties.

PMSL @ "asks before he boards". Come come, do you want the man to be an angel?