Where are the men's campaigns?

[ElephantsAndMiasmas]

...for flexible working?

...for shared parental leave?

...for a national 24 hour rape crisis phoneline?

...for better treatment of victims of DV? (I am aware of the White Ribbon Campaign to raise awareness of DV, but not clear on what they actually do if anything)

And for all the other issues that we are told affect men too.

Do they exist? Will be delighted to hear that they do and I am just ignorant.

If not, why not?

Oh I know it happens. But the point is, when it happens, is it emotional abuse? Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, it depends on what else is going on in the relationship. And I agree with you, to deliberately withhold sex as a negotiation tool is extremely distasteful, and I can't understand why you would do that to someone you love. I also don't understand how people can sit on their arses and allow the person they love to act as a skivvy while they take more leisure time than him or her and don't do their fair share of domestic work. In fact, there are masses of things couples do to each other that I don't understand why you would want to do to someone you love...

To me it was part of emotional abuse, it sits on the fence. As you quite rightly said it depends on what else is going on in the relationship.

To me in cases of DA/DV gender doesn't matter.

The only thing that matters is that DA/DV should be stopped.

But it's not valid to say that gender doesn't matter in DA/DV, because overwhelmingly, it is a gendered crime.

And as I said earlier, I think the context in which it happens is different for men and women, both as perpetrators and as victims.

If you don't recognise the difference in the context between genders, then it stops you finding out what the different issues are when confronting it. The only way we can stop it, is by understanding how and why it happens and if we ignore the gender context, then we can't understand it and therefore can't stop it.

When I say that gender does matter I mean in the sense that all DA/DV is wrong and should be stopped.

It would be remiss of me to ignore the gender of the perpetrator (sic) as (again I agree) understanding the different genders does aid in the understanding of how and why.