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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

'MILF' - offensive or not?

55 replies

earwicga · 16/08/2010 23:08

What do you think?

OP posts:
DidEinsteinsMum · 16/08/2010 23:10

It has always made me smile. When said it is generally meant as a compliment. Although Hmm sometimes at those who are making it. I think as a statement ok. as an intention wrong.

thelunar66 · 16/08/2010 23:10

Well I didn't think anything of it until someone called me one and all my friends said.. EEeeek and explained what it meant Blush

Original poster
earwicga · 16/08/2010 23:11

I instinctively feel it is offensive but I can't reason out why I feel that way.

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 16/08/2010 23:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DidEinsteinsMum · 16/08/2010 23:12

which meaning were you given thelunar66?

paisleyleaf · 16/08/2010 23:12

I think it's offensive in the same way much of the porn industry is offensive.

Original poster
earwicga · 16/08/2010 23:14

Is there more than one? I meant 'MILF' as 'mother I'd like to fuck'.

I think that's it TheButterflyEffect.

OP posts:
harpsichordcarrier · 16/08/2010 23:14

ooh don't know.
good question....

FallingWithStyle · 16/08/2010 23:18

It's foul.

Firstly the recipient of this compliment is being categorised into porn grouping - twenty years ago it would have been Bored Housewife - and secondly how does going up to someone and saying "I wouldn't mind fucking you" suddenly become ok when you change the words to "you're a mum I'd like to fuck"?

Also I think its smacks of blokes expecting mothersto be grateful for any kind sexual attention.

corns1lk · 16/08/2010 23:19

It is hideous and vulgar.I would be so disappointed in my ds's if they used that term.

DidEinsteinsMum · 16/08/2010 23:27

See I first encountered this term amongst teenagers (decades ago) when describing their parents friends. And was basically their way of saying your mum is really attractive. It would always end with the commentator getting the micky taken out of them and was generally meant in a non threatening way.

What i do think is when grown up use it to describe the intention that they would possibly act out. Then it annoys me.

I think i must just have a liberal view as ds swearing doesnt bother me either. Its the situation in which he swears.

Different people, different rules different opinions.

FallingWithStyle · 16/08/2010 23:28

What kind of classless sad act nobber would actually say this?

And in what situation would it be anything other than freaky?

Either he has no romntic/ sexual history with the woman in which case why on earth does he think she wants to hear about where he'd like to shove his penis?

Or they are dating/flirting in which case...how very seductive Hmm

MiladyDeSummer · 16/08/2010 23:34

We have a neighbour who has chosen MILF as her vanity plate Hmm

FallingWithStyle · 16/08/2010 23:35

I'd have more patience for a teenager saying it I suppose. But in the context of a group of young lads talking about women among themselves it's no better than just saying "I wnat to fuck X"
Imagine a group of teenage girls and the conversation getting round to which of each others dad's they'd like to shag...don't think it would happen.

purits · 16/08/2010 23:39

Agree: hideous, vulgar, foul.

If someone said, "she's nice/interesting/funny, I'd like to get to know her better" then that is a compliment. But saying "she's a MILF" (i.e. she will be the passive recipient of my attentions, whether she wants it or not) is like calling her a blow-up doll.
Vile.

piprabbit · 16/08/2010 23:41

Of course it's offensive. It reduces a woman to being a sex object and a mother. It also implies that mothers are normally too aged and haggard to be attractive, so spotting one worthy of a fuck is worth commenting on.

Try replacing the 'M' with other typical femal roles and see if they seem inoffensive.
Daughter, sister etc.

Yuck.

booyhoo · 16/08/2010 23:45

i was just thinking what an appropriate response to someone saying this would be but fallingwithstyle has gotten there before me;
"why on earth do you think i want to hear about where you'd like to shove your penis" Grin

Alouiseg · 16/08/2010 23:49

I'll take any compliments I can get at the ripe old age of 40.

Try googling DILF, it's enlightening.

booyhoo · 16/08/2010 23:49

falling, can i just say, having been the guardian for a teenage girl and providing food and shelter for her friends on occasion that they do indeed discuss which of their fathers they would like to fuck.

they don't actually mean it, they do it to wind each other up.

Original poster
earwicga · 16/08/2010 23:53

I'm really glad I put this topic up as there are some brilliant comments. Thanks. :)

Alouiseg - I've never read or heard 'DILF' until you just wrote it there.

OP posts:
FallingWithStyle · 16/08/2010 23:54

Oh really booyhoo?
I remember harbouring crushes on a couple of friends dads but would have died rather than admit it Wink

PigswithWings · 16/08/2010 23:56

Completely offensive.

To me its like saying any woman who has give birth is unworthy of a shag.

But a MILF has special appeal

FallingWithStyle · 16/08/2010 23:58

Yeah, the implication is definitely that once a female has given birth she generally ceases to be of interst and can only overcome this by being sexually attractive and available.

booyhoo · 17/08/2010 00:03

yep, i have shamelessly listened at the bedroom door many-a-time, for their own good of course Wink. I was a very good teenager if their conversations are anything to go by.

corns1lk · 17/08/2010 00:03

It's indicative of a general lack of respect for women.