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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

'MILF' - offensive or not?

55 replies

earwicga · 16/08/2010 23:08

What do you think?

OP posts:
PigswithWings · 17/08/2010 00:11

The amount of people (read MEN) who when they realise I have a child - its quite funny to see the gear shift. Hell. Sometimes you even hear it

Hmm
sfxmum · 17/08/2010 00:14

I think it means to be seen as a sexual object
I object to it and find it offensive

everyone likes to feel desirable but having this 'desirability' reduced to being a fuck object is quite vile and not the least bit affirming

piprabbit · 17/08/2010 00:18

Trying to imagine the appropriate reaction to being called a MILF. Lowered eyelashes and demure blush? Perhaps an "Ooh, you are a naughty boy but I like you"?
Am I really supposed to be flattered?

PigswithWings · 17/08/2010 00:24

That's the thing Pip. You;re supposed to flattered because no one else will look at you.

So you have to be content with being decreed a milf from some some spotty oik that you wouldn't have considered even way before having children

Or thats what they'd have us think

tiptree · 17/08/2010 00:25

I think it is vulgar and offensive to the extreme. If I heard someone using the phrase about me I would not be flattered at all. If I heard my sin using it he would get short thrift.

fotheringhay · 17/08/2010 15:44

I think using it is the mark of an idiot.

LibertyGibbet · 17/08/2010 15:51

Quite apart from your parental status having bog all to do with whether you should be deemed attractive, no woman should be labelled according to her sexual attractiveness, particularly not according to what somebody else wishes to do to you.

I was on a train a while ago and after the female ticket collector had walked past, the chap next to me snurked and said 'cor, nice arse, I'd do 'er'. I was utterly disgusted and moved away. How dare he announce that to a packed train (within her hearing), how dare he reduce her to a passive object with which he would like to toy.

QueenofDreams · 17/08/2010 16:00

Definitely offensive. You have to wonder how so many mums have more than one child, when (according to this thinking) you cease to be attractive once you've had a child. DP doesn't seem to have a problem with me. Are other people either a) envying him for having some MILF or b) feeling sorry for him having a fat/ugly/whatever mother to have sex with?

QueenofDreams · 17/08/2010 16:02

Oh and saying you want to 'fuck' someone is not going to make them feel good. I had a bloke mouth 'I want to fuck you' at me (much older, incredibly unattractive married man as well) and I felt like a piece of meat on a shelf being drooled over. It was horrible.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 17/08/2010 16:05

I don't like the insinuation that a sexually attractive woman older than 35 who has had children is unusual - that MILFs are the exception.

By the same token I don't like the idea that women should be sexually attractive. And I don't like rating anyone by attractiveness at all - although I know I did it as a teen. Confused

OTOH I can't say with all honesty that I wouldn't be flattered. I'm not in anyway proud of that, mind.

claig · 17/08/2010 16:08

It's offensive, it's objectification and crass. It's these teen US movies and porn movies that have made it common parlance, and many male teenagers now think it is cool to use it.

sunny2010 · 22/08/2010 22:40

My friends and I always say there is a DILF etc. Its a flippant remark not meant to offend. Dont see the big deal really.

Valpollicella · 22/08/2010 22:50

Would you and friends look at a man who doesn't have kids with and call him a BILF (B-bloke)?

sunny2010 · 22/08/2010 23:06

'Would you and friends look at a man who doesn't have kids with and call him a BILF (B-bloke)?

'

No we just say we would fuck him to each other. No one means anything by it. Its just what your thinking at the time and said between friends. Dont think its offensive either way round imo.

Valpollicella · 22/08/2010 23:10

That's fair enough but why then make a point that he's a DILF? Why predispose the fact with he's a dad?

I don't get it, that all!

sunny2010 · 22/08/2010 23:28

I work with kids so its just what we say about the dads lol.

Blackduck · 23/08/2010 09:38

earwicga I am confused as to why you would think this isn't offensive...and thus why you raised it?

antoinettechigur · 23/08/2010 13:15

Perhaps a tad Hmm

Depressing that there could even be a debate over whether being reduced to a fuckable object should be offensive or not.

RamblingRosa · 24/08/2010 09:01

Really offensive and puerile in my book. It's the kind of thing that DP would say which would really wind me up and make me wonder why we're still together!

chunkymonkeylikeitfunky · 24/03/2021 14:03

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gardenbird48 · 24/03/2021 14:09

wow! Does this hold the record for the oldest zombie thread?

11 years old - why would you want to revive this pp? Bizarre and somewhat offensive.

chunkymonkeylikeitfunky · 24/03/2021 14:21

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MargaritaPie · 24/03/2021 14:26

Just to add, it doesn't matter if the "MILF" literally is a mother or not, it just means a woman of middle-age who is considered sexually attractive.

MargaritaPie · 24/03/2021 14:27

Whoops didn't realise this was a zombie thread...

ThisIsSimplyBeyond · 24/03/2021 14:44

Omg, this thread is older than my ten year old!

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