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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

Skinheads

49 replies

ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 08:25

I have just been thinking about a conversation I had a couple of years ago. A male friend (he was quite muscly- he worked out) asked me if he should shave his head, and would it suit him. I said that, obv it was his hair, but if i was him I would be worried about looking like a thug- I have obviously known nice muscly skinheads, but I have also known a high percentage to be abusers, roid heads, thugs and so on.
He said that I was being the same as the people who say women shouldn't wear low cut tops in case they look like sluts.
I was a bit taken aback, but I think he may have been right...what do you think?

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 08:32

The thing is, that if I meet a man with lots of muscles that he is showing off in a tight t shirt and no hair, I am wary of him. That's bad of me, isn't it?

OP posts:
frikonastick · 10/08/2010 08:36

um no. thats SMART of you.

and his is a stupid analogy. whats a slut going to do to him? shag him to death?

wheras a large man who is deliberately emphasising his size and exaggerating his potential agressiveness is something you as a woman are very smart to take notice of and pay heed to.

gorionine · 10/08/2010 08:37

I would have said the same as you but after his answer I think it means I am prejudiced. Your friend is rightSmile

gorionine · 10/08/2010 08:39

How does shaving ones head emphisise potential agressivness?Confused

BeerTricksPotter · 10/08/2010 08:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frikonastick · 10/08/2010 08:40

jeepers gorionine, whay dont you google 'skinheads' and see if you can answer that question for yourself. you may be suitably horrified.

lal123 · 10/08/2010 08:41

skinhead does not equal thug. I used to shave my DPs head, and he's as far from a thug as you can get.

Frikonastik - I think its a good analogy - it's about judging people based on their appearances

nowherewoman · 10/08/2010 08:44

It's a bit unfair on men who are going bald and chose to shave their head (like my friend) and who aren't aggressive at all.

gorionine · 10/08/2010 08:45

I do know what skinheads are, the op is about a man who asked a friend if a shaved head whould suit him , not about a man who asked if joining a far right extremist group was ok, not the same really?

I think we will have to accept that today we have very different views on things FrickonastickSmile.

BeerTricksPotter · 10/08/2010 08:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bruxeur · 10/08/2010 08:45

Frikonastick, whay don't you google 'Clue Shops' and see if any of them deliver.

CuppaTeaJanice · 10/08/2010 08:48

Low cut tops are an item of clothing so are a temporary style choice. So it might be appropriate attire for a night club, but not for a high-powered business meeting. It's easily rectified by changing clothes!

A shaved head lasts a lot longer though. So, unless he was proposing to wear a toupee, the style is something he would have to carry through all aspects of his life for the duration of having the hairstyle.

lal123 · 10/08/2010 08:53

what about tattoos?

LynetteScavo · 10/08/2010 08:55

I know quite a few men who are naturally muscley because they enjoy sport, and have shaved heads as they are bald/balding. None of them are thugs or abusers.

There is a great fear of men on the feminist threads.

gorionine · 10/08/2010 08:56

Cuppa, good point about toupee but the men I know who have shaved heads do so to actually avoid having to wear one to cover partial hairloss (old ageWink). I think if I was a man I would go for that version too rather than wearing a toupee that everyone will spot and laugh at anyway.

frikonastick · 10/08/2010 08:57

the OP said that she would find a large muscly man with a shaved head intimidating (am paraphrasing) and she told her male friend this when he, a large muscly man said he was thinking of shaving his head.

his response was that she would be judging him based on his appearance the same way a woman would be judged if she wore revealing clothes.

CLEARLY there is a massive difference between a woman looking slutty to a man and a man looking scary to WOMEN.

nowherewoman · 10/08/2010 08:57

Isn't having a shaved head fairly mainstream now? Ditto tattoos. I certainly wouldn't be intimidated by those things on their own.

gorionine · 10/08/2010 09:02

No there is not, it is the same judging out of the appearance. The only difference is that one judges a man character by their looks the other judges a woman's character by their looks. Why is one more acceptable than the other?

Headbanger · 10/08/2010 09:03

ButterpieBride, if you meet a man showing off his muscles in a very tight T-shirt, and with a shaved head, you're probably not his type (assuming you're a woman!).

Debs75 · 10/08/2010 09:04

DP is shaven and has many tattoos. He isn't a violent thug in anyway. He was annoyed at how thick his hair was so to stop looking 'like a twat' as he put it he shaved it all off. He has been doing it for 15 years now and it suits him.

He does look a bit intimidating when he swaggers down the street as he is tall and well built but what should he do. he can't help the way he looks

Original poster
ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 09:26

It's one thing if he already looks like that, but my friend was asking advice on whether he should actually go for that look.

In the same way, if a female friend asked me if she should dye her hair purple, I would advise her that she needs to consider if all areas of her ife would be ok with her looking like a bit of a goth. People make assumptions, right or wrong, and I think you need to at least consider them, even if you then decide to ignore them.

When I answer the door with a baby on my hip, pinny and flowery dress on, I'm sure the delivery man makes assumptions about me that are different to what he assumes if I was on my way out, for example, this saturday, in vest top, eyeliner, leather jacket in hand, jeans and doc martens. If I asked a friend if I should wear a flowery dress and pinny to a rock club, they would hopefully point out that I may look a little odd.

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 09:31

Also, I'm getting married soon (have I mentioned it?) and one of the big considerations about wearing white was that I wanted people (especially elderly relatives with dementia) to have the visual cue that I am a bride (white dress, flowers, veil = bride). That would be a completely different look if I shaved my head and had tattoos all over my arms. So if I chose to shave my head and get tattoos and muscly arms, I would have to consider that I would look different, and people would assume things. In this case, probably about my sexuality.

TBH, I'm thinking it out here, I don't know where I'm going...

OP posts:
Original poster
ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 09:34

If my DP shaved his head, he would look like a cancer patient, btw. That or a concentration camp victim. People would most likely start giving up their bus seat for him. Bless the skinny sod. :D

OP posts:
gorionine · 10/08/2010 09:39

Jeans and doc Martens? The first image I get from that desciption is this Rings a bell much?Wink

Original poster
ButterpieBride · 10/08/2010 09:47

Lol, exactly. I wouldn't do something that meant I had that look all the time though, at least not without seriously considering it.

OP posts:
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