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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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Original poster

all those 'strippers/lap dances on stag weekend' threads

32 replies

Swishswish · 02/08/2010 15:30

I had a different name a few months ago so you won't remember me anyway but...

I posted on one of those 'my DP is going to get a lap dance on a stag weekend shall I pretend to be cool about it?' threads a few months ago. At the time I had just found out that my DP was going to Amsterdam for his friend's stag do. I said on the thread that I would prefer that he didn't go to a strip club, but that I couldn't very well expect him to sit outside. Someone (who I can't remember) told me that I was a silly silly woman and that's exactly what I should expect.

So I had a quiet word with my DP about how I didnt think strip clubs are acceptable, mainly because I do not believe that women are commodities or things that can be bought and sold.

He just got back and his friends told me that he had gone to a nearby bar while they all went to a strip club. And he didn't even blame it on his whiney DP, he said he didn't like the idea of it.

Reading the feminism threads have made me rethink lots of issues, this was just one of them. Please keep posting and discussing, I am learning so much from you all.

OP posts:
frikonastick · 02/08/2010 16:50

d'you know swishswish, that has totally cheered me up

BitOfFun · 02/08/2010 16:52

Yay- one of the decent guys then! I remember that thread- nice to hear the outcome.

smallwhitecat · 02/08/2010 16:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PosieParker · 02/08/2010 16:57

I remember that thread too and am delighted for you....must be nice to be in a relationship with a grown up!!

PosieParker · 02/08/2010 16:58

I am going to peep back and see the 'of course he went' responses and you may even get 'he should have persuaded the others...'.

CheeseandGherkins · 02/08/2010 17:01

My dp wouldn't go in a strip club as he just doesn't like them and would feel uncomfortable. I know he's not lying either as he chose not to go in one before he even met me! He was out with friends for a birthday and they went into one, he went home It was a woman's birthday too and a couple of women went in as well as some men. He got a lot of stick about it but ignored it

Unlike exh who used prostitutes...but that's another story.....

msrisotto · 02/08/2010 17:23

Nice thread, lovely. I'm glad it all went so well

expatinscotland · 02/08/2010 17:27

DH won't go to one of those. He says that as the father of daughters, they make him sick.

Original poster
Swishswish · 02/08/2010 17:37

Oh he persuaded his brother too. I'm pleased I didn't try to be 'cool' about it all.

OP posts:
yama · 02/08/2010 17:44

Good to hear Swishswish.

On the stag nights my dh has been to there usually ends up being two (or more) groups. Those who want to visit strip clubs and those who would prefer to sit in a pub drinking pints and talking.

There are lots of men out there who prefer the latter option.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 02/08/2010 17:55

Good for him, Swishswish.

And - sorry about this but it has to be said - stick that up your arse in your pipe and smoke it, all you man-hating non-feminists out there! Men aren't helpless mindless boner-slaves after all, halle-bloody-lujah

Prolesworth · 02/08/2010 18:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ruthosaurus · 02/08/2010 18:14

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! You got a good one there.

MortaIWombat · 02/08/2010 20:17

How refreshing.

Earthymama · 02/08/2010 20:22

Great news, lovely man

Buy him a 'this is what a feminist looks like t-shirt', he deserves one.

whomovedmychocolate · 02/08/2010 20:23

Good for your DP.

Bet he got hell from his mates though.

tabouleh · 02/08/2010 20:35

Oh welldone Swishswish's DP!

"Bet he got hell from his mates though." - not necessarily - I understand that often it is a minority of blokes at such an event that want to go to a lapdancing club.

My DH was at a stag do a couple of months ago and when this was suggested by 1 bloke he said to the groom "you don't want to go there do you" - knowing the groom isn't that type of guy - groom said "no" so my DH said to the 1 bloke "look no-one wants to go". This was not challenged so they didn't go .

AnyFucker · 02/08/2010 20:38

Ahh, nice to read this x

I remember your thread

ISNT · 03/08/2010 17:19

Great thread And great post from E&M too - funny how us lot are the ones who get accused of man-hating when we express the idea that loads of men might actually want to do the right thing off their own bat.

dittany · 03/08/2010 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 04/08/2010 06:53

My dh used to work in an environment where the mainly younger lads often headed to a strip club. At which point he'd usually go and have a curry with the other people who weren't keen, or come home. I expect some of the blokes thought he was a bit straight laced, but it didn't seem to other him (it was a high banter office). At the time we were mostly separated, so it certianly wasn't for my sake. Just that he had a bit more integrity (and likes a good curry!).

tegan · 04/08/2010 07:03

my dh isn't a fan of them but he has been to them on stag do's and it really doesn't bother me. He is off on another stag do the weekend and i have budgeted for him to go in as i wouldn't expect him not to go if the rest of the blokes are

MistyMooBags · 04/08/2010 07:04

About 20 years ago I worked with a team of men in sales and about 10 of them were treated to a day trip to France as their sales were very high. Pretty much all of them were married and ALL of them visited a brothel while they were there.

My partner is the same about strip places and the like. He's a builder and about half of his colleagues are like him, and half enjoy occasionally going to places like that, although the ones he's friends with are like him! He finds them degrading to women and is horrified by some of the stories in the press and on TV about young girls/women aspiring to be 'glamour' models and the like. We have a 16-month-old daughter...

SweetGrapes · 04/08/2010 07:07

Good for your Dh and for you!!!!

Same with my dh - he doesn't go on these trips either - he genuinely doesn't like it. Some friends (one in particular) keep suggesting but he always refuses. Prefers chatting in the pub.

SweetGrapes · 04/08/2010 07:14

In fact I think it's only one who is interested to go so he keeps suggesting it but is vetoed every time by everyone else.
So much for all men want to go to strip clubs/lap dancing places!

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