Turned 40 and falling apart!

[Sosocold]

I turned 40 last March and since then I've not felt well, no exaggeration. On my 40th birthday in St Lucia I came down with a uti/kidney infection which took months of anticibiotics to shift. I recently went away for business followed by a long weekend and it resurfaced.
I've had a recurrent ear infection since Xmas that again, I cannot shift. Seems like my body cannot fight things off.
I've been told I'm anaemic, thanks to the ridiculously heavy periods I'm having every 3 weeks (under the gynae for that and getting my second coil fitted after the first one I got last spring was a disaster as was fitted too low and caused horrendous back pain).
I feel knackered all the time.
This Friday/Saturday I felt really nauseous and so tired.
Some days of the month I'm so achey, especially in my hips. I'm pretty convinced I'm peri menopausal and my gynae has said about HRT which I'm hoping will help the uti issue.
Anyone else feeling like an old woman since turning the big 4-0?!

Absolutely. My life and health fell apart in my 40s. One thing after another. COVID. Lung scarring. Autoimmune disorder. Gum disease. I had to take mega antibiotics for an infected parotid gland and I never really felt the same after. They triggered thrush and then perimenopause took over 😫 It’s rubbish and now at nearly 50 I still can’t get treatment for what I think is obviously perimenopause symptoms because my blood tests are “normal”. My marriage also imploded in a way that could never have been predicted leaving me a single SEND mum, the stress has been off the scale and my career is in ruins too. I just earn money to keep a roof over our heads now and am stuck on universal credit top ups which people no doubt judge me for. Yeah yeah, woe is me and all that. I have a lot to be grateful for too. But I admit to slightly envying people who reach my age with no health issues and an easy life.

The inability to shift infections, nausea and fatigue are all symptomsof iron deficiency, let alone anemia. Get an iron infusion and then hopefully if the gynae can get your heavy periods under control you'll feel tonnes better. It will take you many many months to get your levels up with supplements, but with an infusion you'll be feeling better in weeks. You might have to go private though.

Are you taking Vitamin D? It solved my aches and pains aged 40. Daily yoga is also very beneficial.

How's your diet?

I second the vitamin D. 41 years old here.

Hello @Sosocold . Re the UTI problems, this could be genitourinary syndrome of the menopause not actual infections. Believe me it is a good mimic. I think you would be well served to start vaginal estrogen as it is better to start early. Solidarity xxxxx

Oh my goodness, yes! Very similar. I started with either covid or flu several weeks before my 40th birthday. It went on for weeks, I then got whooping cough. I’ve never felt well a day since. I’m 42 now.

Raising two ND teenagers and it’s been incredibly intense and stressful.

My ferritin level is 5, supplements disagree with me so I’m trying to take 2/3 a week but they often make me vomit. GP won’t refer to haematology for infusion, if my level doesn’t improve much by March (which it won’t!), he’s agreed to refer to gynaecology so I can try that route. My nearest private clinic would cost £800 and I can’t afford it at the moment.

I have started HRT though and three months in I’m definitely feeling a difference - my mood swings have settled and my skin and hair are thanking me!

I thought life was meant to begin at 40?!

Thanks @Tiptopflipflop an iron infusion sounds the way forward. I'm taking supplements but like you say that will take a long time to feel the impact. I have private healthcare fortunately, hence the gynae ok to consider HRT for someone only just 40!

I would also ask the gynae if you are a candidate for endometrial ablation surgery. Bleeding as you are is indeed causing you to become anaemic. I’ve had similar problems re bleeding and surgery was the only thing that stopped it.

@CherryBlossom321 my goodness, our stories sound very similar. I hope things continue to improve for you, sounds like HRT is the way forward.

@DrCoconut I'm so sorry to hear this, sounds like things have been horrendous. Sending well wishes and really hope things improve for you x

I am exactly the same. Had one thing after another. Nothing massively serious but definitely annoying and debilitating in a way it never has been before. I get a bit down sometimes wondering if that's it now, it just goes downhill from here!

Yes @HildaBWilderbeast sorry I should have said that's what they're thinking is the issue now and I'm on vaginal oestrogen, it's made the world of difference, altho unfortunately still had a recent flare up x

I'm not, but will definitely get on vitamin D, thank you!

I wouldn't say I'm great on fruit, but we have good balanced meals that are home cooked. Lots of vegetables. Try to avoid very processed meats. I am an absolute sucker for chocolate though, so that's my downfall.

You should be able to do the infusion through your health insurance at the Iron Clinic in London if viable location wise. Assuming your health insurance has a virtual GP, ask them to refer you to a haematologist. You then do the initial consultation with the Professor for the infusion, then get approval for the infusion. Whole thing took me a week start to finish

I asked gynae about ablation, she wants to try coil first. I just hope it gets fitted properly this time as it was horrendously painful last time it was fitted and not in the right place and I couldn't wait to get it out after weeks of strong painkillers.

I've got a little operation scheduled at the end of the month to remove a polyp in my uterus and fit the dreaded coil...

Thanks to everyone for their replies, really appreciate it. Solidarity indeed!

Yep me too. My iron was normal but it was about 20 (the normal range is 11-350) but no, completely “normal” and they tried to put me on sertraline for my “health anxiety” 🙄 I went from running half marathons to getting out of breath reading to my kids, my hair falling out, blind spot hallucinations, palpitations that would last for days…. I thought I was dying.

I ignored their advice and now take 2 ferrous sulphate every night, and vit D and b12 and biotin every morning, high doses of each- and after 3 months I feel so much better.

Was 38 for me, back, knees went, developed asthma, hair started falling out, skin suddenly intolerable to any skincare Id used. A shit show. Only plus- 40th birthday was used to it all😉

That's crazy! Glad the supplements are helping

Definitely a downward turn since turning 40, almost 42 and ache a lot, sleep starting to get worse, terrible mood swings. I can go from suicidal to on top of the world in the space of a few days then back again. Lots of rage too. I’m going to go to the GP about HRT again. But when I mentioned it a few months back I was told I’m too young. Sounds like I also need to get better at remembering to take my Vit D.

Welcome to club 4-0. I definitley turned peri right around my 40th birthday. Exhaustion, aches, low libdo, sleep sweats, inability to fall asleep/stay asleep, allergies have gone off the chart to on permenent antihistamines, general inability to lose weight, and the weirdest side effect, plantiar fasciatis (saw it on an fb reel for peri, and lo and behold, hobbling half the time).

Fresh hell. I'm beginning to see how my mum was a general nightmare of a human around this age, but I guess that generation just didn't talk about it.

Oh and hormonal chin acne. I was never a spotty teenager, but THIS?! I heard peri described as going through puberty in reverse, and yup. Joyful.

I don't know if it suits anyone but I have found a combination of the Mirena coil and Sertraline to be a game changer for the wild mood wings and the hormonal acne etc.

Now just need to sort out all the other bits of me that are falling apart.

No I felt great at 40, started weights and now feel my best mid 40s. It doesn’t have to be like that