Page 3 | How do people stay childless / childfree for 20 plus years?

sunshineandstarsgirl · 2023-10-13T21:38:15+00:00

What contraception do they use? Is the pill and condom the most effective if used together? I don't want any children, so was wondering what protection to use?

Chasingsquirrels · 14/10/2023 13:54

I think this is an odd question.
I'm 51 and have had plenty of sex over the last 37 years.
I've been pregnant twice, both times planned for.
I've managed not to get pregnant all the rest of that time, using a variety of contraceptive methods - pill, condoms, diaphragm with the spermicidal gel & mirena coil, plus I've taken the morning after pill when a condom split.

Fiftyvines · 14/10/2023 14:12

Pill. I've been using it for 20+ years, no issues.

SylvieLaufeydottir · 14/10/2023 14:28

I got pregnant with an IUD exactly where it was supposed to be. It does happen.

I would definitely choose a LARC like an IUD, IUS, implant, or (this one obvs not reversible) vasectomy. DH is now snipped and it's great. If a pregnancy would be a disaster and you don't want to contemplate a termination, I would double up on methods, personally.

Guttedme · 14/10/2023 15:29

Go to bed with someone younger, in my experience they turn up with condoms as do not want to get in the family way. I had my teen years when HIV and AIDS were a big scary thing.

Failsafe is withdraw from sex. Don’t suppose you can ever truly trust someone these days. The opposite Sex have no purpose for me now, probably the way I’ve always wanted it to be fair.

GarlicGrace · 14/10/2023 16:36

EBearhug · 14/10/2023 13:16

It's also increasingly difficult to find a nurse trained in fitting them.

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Oh, that's a pity. I found mine extremely convenient, @Hibiscrubbed. You can just put it in any time you think you might be going to have sex: no faffing about in the moment. It only took me a couple of days to get the hang of it - though there were more than few evenings with the darn thing pinging all over the bathroom while I drunkenly tried to fold it for insertion 😂

Came in handy as an emergency mooncup, too.

SoRainbowRhythms · 14/10/2023 16:44

GarlicGrace · 14/10/2023 16:36

Oh, that's a pity. I found mine extremely convenient, @Hibiscrubbed. You can just put it in any time you think you might be going to have sex: no faffing about in the moment. It only took me a couple of days to get the hang of it - though there were more than few evenings with the darn thing pinging all over the bathroom while I drunkenly tried to fold it for insertion 😂

Came in handy as an emergency mooncup, too.

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I am the result of an ill fitted diaphragm 😅

GarlicGrace · 14/10/2023 16:54

SoRainbowRhythms · 14/10/2023 16:44

I am the result of an ill fitted diaphragm 😅

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Yikes!
And I'm the result of a condom that slipped.
Our parents really shouldn't tell us these things ... at least we know we're among the 5%. Special, like!

At times when I very definitely didn't want to get pregnant, I'd use diaphragm and condom. There would be an occasional squeak of rubber on rubber 😂

SoRainbowRhythms · 14/10/2023 16:59

GarlicGrace · 14/10/2023 16:54

Yikes!
And I'm the result of a condom that slipped.
Our parents really shouldn't tell us these things ... at least we know we're among the 5%. Special, like!

At times when I very definitely didn't want to get pregnant, I'd use diaphragm and condom. There would be an occasional squeak of rubber on rubber 😂

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As I posted this message I thought to myself "why do I know this??" 😂😂

EBearhug · 14/10/2023 19:18

Go to bed with someone younger, in my experience they turn up with condoms as do not want to get in the family way. I had my teen years when HIV and AIDS were a big scary thing.

IME, most men of any age will only reluctantly use condoms - I think they assume I'm too old to get pregnant. I still have periods, so I assume not. In any case, if they're prepared to have casual sex with me, they probably do so with others, and STIs are still a risk (both ways, for all they know, though everything came up negative on my last test.) Most of them were also teens during the height of the AIDS epidemic when we were all going to die.

CesareBorgia · 14/10/2023 19:25

Condoms. You know it's there, you know at once if it has failed, it doesn't mess about with your hormones.

Now post-menopause and childfree.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 14/10/2023 21:15

Ejismyf · 13/10/2023 22:47

Mirena Coil

This makes me think of the photo of the baby born holding the coil that didn't work!

I have never got pregnant using withdrawal (lots of people do though!) but I have using a condom!

I would say whatever you're on also track your cycle so you know when to be extra careful xx

Cannas · 14/10/2023 21:38

I used the pill for 5 years then had a copper coil, had it removed when we decided, after 18 years, to have children. I thought having had no accidents or scares for all those years I wouldn't get pregnant. Conceived DC1 first month. DC2 arrived 2 years later, then I had a number of mirena coils until menopause.

WindsChange · 14/10/2023 21:40

Lesbianism is highly effective.

Floopyfloop · 14/10/2023 21:41

For my husband and I it was 8 years of raging undiagnosed stage 4 Endometriosis.

At the time we didn’t want to conceive so just used condoms but it took so much effort to have one child

miniegg3 · 14/10/2023 22:11

CurlewKate · 14/10/2023 02:57

At the risk of being flamed, I think the overwhelming majority of contraceptive failures are actually user errors.

Agree. I've taken the combined pill for 20 years with no unwanted pregnancies, and a wanted one when I came off it

MaggieBsBoat · 14/10/2023 22:14

The only things that have prevented pregnancy for me (I have hyperfertility) was the Mirena and then after that tubal clips.

Wednesdaysotherchild · 15/10/2023 10:19

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 14/10/2023 06:22

Same, although it was usually the 8/9 week mark for me. Recurrent miscarriages unit prescribed progesterone suppositories which finally maintained my pregnancy. I don't know if it's something you've looked into or if you're even still TTC but if so, it's worth a look.

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Thanks, most of these losses involved progesterone etc. I’m on a full immunes protocol now so we’ll see.

SkinnyMalinkyLankyLegs · 15/10/2023 19:32

Wednesdaysotherchild · 15/10/2023 10:19

Thanks, most of these losses involved progesterone etc. I’m on a full immunes protocol now so we’ll see.

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Wishing you all the best, infertility is a very difficult journey..