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Original poster

Pressure by medical staff for contraception after birth!

47 replies

LUFCMama · 14/12/2021 21:03

Has anyone had a baby recently & felt as though doctors, nurses/health visitor has put unnecessary pressure on them to be on contraception?

I understand the importance of preventing back to back pregnancies but since having my little one & repeatedly telling them that there’s no risk as his dad & I are no longer together (coparenting fine) & I don’t plan to be in any form of relationship anytime soon, they keep going on at me about it!

My health visitor said last week that I don’t want to be in a position to have to consider termination… I just felt as though it was emotional blackmail & who’s to say I don’t want anymore kids in the near future? (I don’t but it felt very presumptuous)

I’ve tried numerous hormonal birth controls over the years & none of them have worked for me but even if I was to get into a relationship I’ve repeatedly expressed that I would consider it then or use condoms until I’d figured it out.

I’m just not sure if this is something that happens to everyone or wether it’s to do with me being a younger mum? (20 y/o).

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
DawnK77 · 14/12/2021 21:06

Yes same! And I'm 34. Repeatedly checking with me about it and that I understand contraception. And the woman in the bed next to me, she was quite forceful with them but I heard them come back again to check. Must just be what they do/have to check to tick the boxes.

AdriannaP · 14/12/2021 21:10

Think it happens to everyone. I am a lot older than you (I could be your mum!) just had my second and got a lot of pressure from midwives, HV, and GP even though I was very clear that I didn’t want another and that we knew how to prevent that. Also think must be some NHS tick box. I also had the safe sleeping talk 3 times even though I told them I wasn’t co-sleeping. 🙄

Roundeartheratchriatmas · 14/12/2021 21:13

You aren’t obligated to discuss it if you’ve already said. Say thanks I’ve already discussed this and have no interest in doing so again.

Fabuleuse · 14/12/2021 21:13

I just told them I considered it a private matter and I didn't wish to discuss it with them (politely of course!). Nobody continued to bring it up after I said that.

StarsOnAMat · 14/12/2021 21:13

After baby number two, my GP seemed really keen to get a coil into me and wasn’t convinced by me saying we’d use condoms again (like the previous thirteen years) or DH might get the snip. I was 37 and this was a female doctor.

gamerchick · 14/12/2021 21:14

My eldest is 26 and I've had it with each baby. It's not a new thing. Its the only time ive took the mini pill just to get them off my back.

Stick to your guns.

Redburnett · 14/12/2021 21:14

Not recent but when I had a C section (second baby) many years ago the doctor tried to persuade me to agree to sterilisation at the same time - literally offered me the form to sign. I was appalled.

bedheadedzombie · 14/12/2021 21:15

I'm 41 and live in the Netherlands. My dd wasn't even 6 hours old and they started about it. Bloody everyone! I needed ivf to conceive and they kept hoing on and on that even though I needed ivf I could still get pregnant so I should use something. In the end I said we'd use condoms but that wasn't good enough because then you need to rely on your partner.

I'm actually not against a surprise pregnancy at all! Just felt so pressured to say that yes I'll look into the pill or whatever just to shut them up. They just keep hoing on about it but nobody ever asked me if I wanted to get pregnant or not. They just assumed that a surprise pregnancy would be a terrible thing.

DramaAlpaca · 14/12/2021 21:16

I had this in the 90s when I had my first child. Like a pp I told them it was private, I knew what I was doing with regard to contraception and I didn't want to discuss it. Perhaps I should've listened, I was pregnant again six months later! (Planned, but sooner than expected)

bedheadedzombie · 14/12/2021 21:17

Hoing is going..... fat fingers sorry

BalloonsOnFire · 14/12/2021 21:18

@Redburnett

Not recent but when I had a C section (second baby) many years ago the doctor tried to persuade me to agree to sterilisation at the same time - literally offered me the form to sign. I was appalled.
This happened to me, I’d been asked a few weeks before and declined but on the day of c section I was basically bullied into it and I was really vulnerable and not ok to be making such a huge decision spur of the moment
MrsT84 · 14/12/2021 21:18

At my booking in appointment the midwife already spoke to me about contraception after birth! I haven't even had the baby yet and there is a sticker on my notes to do with contraception after birth! I was shocked tbh. I am 37 and this is my second baby (my son is 7 years old).

collybubble · 14/12/2021 21:19

I was nearly 40 and had conceived by IVF. It grated a lot to have A HV and GP both lecture me on safe sex a few days afte giving birth

MotherOfCrocodiles · 14/12/2021 21:19

Yes, when in for my last c section I was asked several times if I didn't want to be sterilised or have a coil fitted, and actually got asked "why not" more than once. I think it's a bit shocking to be offering sterilisation to someone literally on the way to theatre, surely can't be considered informed consent

For the record I'm over 40 so it's not your age

SillyYak · 14/12/2021 21:20

I felt massive pressure too. I was 42. It was infantilising and weird.

AliasGrape · 14/12/2021 21:21

Yeah I had my dd at 40 after needing fertility help and they asked me before she was a day old and then repeatedly afterwards. At my 6 week check the gp really wanted me to book in to get a coil fitted, I just kept saying thanks I’ll think about it.

As it turns out having a cosleeping velcro baby has been fairly effective in terms of contraception so far, and if we had a miracle/ surprise now 16 months down the line we’d be ok with that if not utterly shocked.

InTheNightWeWillWish · 14/12/2021 21:24

I’m only 3 postpartum but already had that conversation with the community midwife before she discharged me. I’m expecting the conversation with the health visitor and GP. I told the midwife that we were planning on using condoms, she said would I not want to use hormonal contraceptives. I explained I had the implant and didn’t like it, took the pill to counteract the effects of the implant and wasn’t reliable with taking it. She then offered the coil. I explained that we’d effectively used condoms for over 8 years before TTC without a pregnancy.

I hate that after pregnancy the onus is still on the woman for contraception. I understand the need to prevent back to back pregnancies and that abusive men can get their partners pregnant quickly as a means of further controlling them. However, I think there is a balance between safeguarding women and sharing the burden of contraceptives.

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 21:26

Oh I was in my thirties and they still did it.

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 21:28

Was having my first baby after 10 years of marriage.🤷

EarringsandLipstick · 14/12/2021 21:31

I get what everyone's saying. I had The Talk too 😀

However, several family members are doctors. One is a consultant obs/gynae. It is much more common than you can imagine, seeing shell-shocked women sitting in their surgeries, pregnant within a very short period of giving birth.

The concern for the medics is really for the woman for whom this is often devastating.

While everyone thinks there's no chance it will happen to them, it really can & does.

Obviously there are limits to how much pressure a medical professional should be putting on anyone tho!

BalloonsOnFire · 14/12/2021 21:31

@MotherOfCrocodiles

Yes, when in for my last c section I was asked several times if I didn't want to be sterilised or have a coil fitted, and actually got asked "why not" more than once. I think it's a bit shocking to be offering sterilisation to someone literally on the way to theatre, surely can't be considered informed consent

For the record I'm over 40 so it's not your age

It’s not at all I didn’t even know till 18 months later what type of sterilisation had been done to me clips or tubes cut etc and they’d given me no info sheet or anything beforehand

I was devastated when I found out my tubes had been cut AND cauterised

EarringsandLipstick · 14/12/2021 21:32

One particularly remarkable story involved a woman who was 13 weeks pregnant with triplets and had a just-past 4 month old baby. 😳

MotherOfCrocodiles · 14/12/2021 21:34

@BalloonsOnFire I'm sorry that happened to you

BalloonsOnFire · 14/12/2021 21:37

[quote MotherOfCrocodiles]@BalloonsOnFire I'm sorry that happened to you[/quote]
It was really traumatic I actually felt violated. I ended up travelling miles to have a reversal privately as I just couldn’t get over it

JinglingHellsBells · 14/12/2021 21:38

It's not a new thing.

It happened to me many years ago and I was a new mum in my 30s.

I remember the nurse coming round with a clipboard to my bed- baby was about 3 days old- asking if I'd sorted contraception. I felt like saying I'd not got to my 30s without knowing how to avoid being pregnant.

It was 'procedure' to ask. I also remember in the same conversation she said something about the days of the week (not to do with conceiving) and said the next time I had to know which day was which was when the DC went to school.

As if all women are SAHMs.