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Original poster

Pressure by medical staff for contraception after birth!

47 replies

LUFCMama · 14/12/2021 21:03

Has anyone had a baby recently & felt as though doctors, nurses/health visitor has put unnecessary pressure on them to be on contraception?

I understand the importance of preventing back to back pregnancies but since having my little one & repeatedly telling them that there’s no risk as his dad & I are no longer together (coparenting fine) & I don’t plan to be in any form of relationship anytime soon, they keep going on at me about it!

My health visitor said last week that I don’t want to be in a position to have to consider termination… I just felt as though it was emotional blackmail & who’s to say I don’t want anymore kids in the near future? (I don’t but it felt very presumptuous)

I’ve tried numerous hormonal birth controls over the years & none of them have worked for me but even if I was to get into a relationship I’ve repeatedly expressed that I would consider it then or use condoms until I’d figured it out.

I’m just not sure if this is something that happens to everyone or wether it’s to do with me being a younger mum? (20 y/o).

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
christmaspavlova · 14/12/2021 21:47

They harass all females about contraception unfortunately.

Nat6999 · 14/12/2021 21:48

I got asked in front of my parents as I was legging it out the door after discharging myself, I told them the only way I would be coming back was to be sterilised.

User478 · 14/12/2021 22:05

A friend of mine had her DD at 15 and between contractions the midwife said to her "do you want to be here again in 9 months" and arranged for her coil to be fitted immediately after she gave birth. How on earth could that be considered informed consent? Apparently it was fairly standard practice with teen pregnancies.

gogohm · 14/12/2021 22:10

The ask because they have so many women conceive quickly after giving birth then terminating. I know two people who have personally

Curiouserandcuriouser1 · 14/12/2021 22:15

Yes! I thought it was odd too and might be to do with me having a fraternal twin pregnancy as it (potentially) uses up more NHS resources and I have a high chance of having multiples again. I did feel very pressured though, there was no question as to whether I wanted the contraception or not, just which one I was going to be prescribed.

MrsTimRiggins · 14/12/2021 22:16

Yea, they love banging that particular drum! I think every healthcare professional I’ve had contact with since having my baby last month has been on my case about having a coil fitted. I don’t want a fucking coil again!! Then they start about other options, nope, will not be taking any form of hormonal contraceptives again.

unfar · 14/12/2021 22:21

Happened with my first 2, not with my 3rd. No idea if it was because I was breastfeeding and they wrongly count it as contraception or because I had well spaced gaps so they assumed I knew what I was doing.

ToughTittyWhompus · 14/12/2021 22:24

I was 29 and fresh out of an abusive marriage when I had my last baby.

I repeatedly said I was single so no chance.

But you might get back with your ex.

I repeatedly said that being as I’m now over 200 miles away at an address he doesn’t know, I very much fucking doubt that Hmm

It’s been 6 years and I still haven’t had sex Grin

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 14/12/2021 22:26

I used to have a GP who began every appt by asking what contraception I was on. Every single time.Confused

TheHolyPotato · 14/12/2021 22:27

After my last I shut the conversation down quickly by saying how long I'd been trying to conceive this time.
You have to be forceful ime.

HaaaaaveyoumetTed · 14/12/2021 22:27

My first question after having DD was "when can I start taking the pill again" 😂

Seriously though, the number of women who get pregnant quickly after birth is really quite high and is associated with higher abortion rates, and higher negative outcomes for mother's and babies.

HCPs also know that once you leave hospital, time runs away from you, prioritising your own health appointments is hard and most 6 week checks are now over the phone. Women who don't have contraception in place on discharge are more likely to get pregnant.

And women who needed IVF for first child are much, much less likely to need it for a second.

bratzybaby · 14/12/2021 22:38

Same with me. I had a baby in May and was told my midwives on the ward, my own midwife and my GP to get onto contraception asap. I even had a letter sent to my house about it. I'm now 5 months pregnant and my daughter's only 7 months😂 I should have listened to them!

I didn't see it as pressure, more so that it's something they're obliged to tell patients to make them aware of how fertile they are righr after giving birth.

My health visitor said last week that I don’t want to be in a position to have to consider termination… I just felt as though it was emotional blackmail

This is really drastic however! Not sure why the hell they'd mention a termination, that's a bit mean

MummyGummy · 14/12/2021 22:45

I wouldn’t take it personally, it’s obviously a standard question. Understandable really given that it’s not recommended to have another baby until a year after birth for the health of the mother/baby, and that 40% of pregnancies are unplanned.

mumwon · 14/12/2021 23:11

over 40 years ago I can remember going for my first antenatal appointments for my first child & the first thing the gp said "what method of birth control will you be using after your baby is born?" !
so its not new!

ancientgran · 14/12/2021 23:19

I had a very know it all young doctor ask me at my six week check up. He asked what contraception I was using, I said I wasn't and got a lecture. When he finished I said, "Six weeks ago I had a difficult forceps delivery of a 10lb baby. I was readmitted to hospital when he was ten days old as I was in such a mess and the possibility of me having sex any time soon was pretty remote." He left it at that.

It is very intrusive.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 14/12/2021 23:30

I also remember in the same conversation she said something about the days of the week (not to do with conceiving) and said the next time I had to know which day was which was when the DC went to school.

As if all women are SAHMs.

As if women who aren't in paid employment don't need to know which day it is.

Igneo · 14/12/2021 23:33

I found it really hard to readjust from the safety of having sex when you are pregnant, to having to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant again.

Am I alone?

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 14/12/2021 23:35

I had a baby in May and was told my midwives on the ward, my own midwife and my GP to get onto contraception asap. I even had a letter sent to my house about it. I'm now 5 months pregnant and my daughter's only 7 months😂 I should have listened to them!

Well, this is why women are subjected to repeated talks about contraception. It's a huge strain on your body to be pregnant again so quickly and many women don't want to be, so seek termination. If women keep ending up pregnant by surprise (surprise, sex without contraception can result in pregnancy) then they'll have to assume we need the talk.

RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime · 14/12/2021 23:39

@Igneo

I found it really hard to readjust from the safety of having sex when you are pregnant, to having to worry about the possibility of getting pregnant again.

Am I alone?

No. When I'd had two DC and we didn't want any more, sex always had some worry to it even with using a condom. I knew if I got pregnant I would have to terminate. So DH had the snip and now I'm safe!
noblegreenk · 14/12/2021 23:42

When I had dd (3 yrs ago) they seemed desperate to get me to agree to have the coil fitted. I've never fancied that method of contraception, but they didn't half persist. I was glad when DH had his vasectomy, as that shut them right up!

bratzybaby · 15/12/2021 03:04

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime

I had a baby in May and was told my midwives on the ward, my own midwife and my GP to get onto contraception asap. I even had a letter sent to my house about it. I'm now 5 months pregnant and my daughter's only 7 months😂 I should have listened to them!

Well, this is why women are subjected to repeated talks about contraception. It's a huge strain on your body to be pregnant again so quickly and many women don't want to be, so seek termination. If women keep ending up pregnant by surprise (surprise, sex without contraception can result in pregnancy) then they'll have to assume we need the talk.

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime I'm not in the percentage that will be having a termination so that has nothing to do with me🤷‍♀️ It's not the end of the world if health professionals recommend you go on contraception, you're simply able to ignore them. But yes if people like me keep on 'ending up pregnant' then you'll carry on receiving these talks
Igneo · 15/12/2021 23:02

@RubbishRobotFromTheDawnOfTime

Yes! Snip here too. Very helpful.

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