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Original poster

Please help me find this book I borrowed from the library in 1990!

115 replies

FantasticButtocks · 14/12/2022 18:03

Not much to go on, sorry...
It had a brightish blue cover.
No idea of author or title, but either the husband or the baby was called Stephen/Steven, think it might actually have been the baby. Don't think the marriage was great. The mother suffers with intense loneliness and depression pnd after the birth, husband not very supportive or maybe doesn't understand... but eventually she finds something that interests her, can't remember what, maybe she starts to study, and starts to feel more human again. She starts going out and about with the pram, and also getting into her subject, she sometimes reads on a bench in the park. One day when she's doing this, very absorbed, the unthinkable happens and her child drowns in the pond.
She blames herself. Her husband blames her.

Very grim and sad, I read it when I'd just given birth to my first child Sad
I've looked for it often, without success and I'd be so grateful if anyone recognises it.
Thanks Smile

OP posts:
Wildernesstips · 16/12/2022 17:37

I wondered if it might be Offside by Gisela Elsner but I can’t remember enough of the details so not much help, sorry.

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 16/12/2022 19:00

Wildernesstips · 16/12/2022 17:37

I wondered if it might be Offside by Gisela Elsner but I can’t remember enough of the details so not much help, sorry.

I have just spent ages checking that out, because it seemed close. Not the one though, but thank you!

OP posts:
gubbinsy · 16/12/2022 19:15

Oh I came on to say A Special Relationship too (although don't remember any drownings) but much too late!

Florencearbuthnot2 · 16/12/2022 19:21

I think it may be by Deborah Moggach,it seems to ring a bell

carefulcalculator · 16/12/2022 19:31

I am totally over-invested in this, I so hope you find your (miserable) book!

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 16/12/2022 19:55

Florencearbuthnot2 · 16/12/2022 19:21

I think it may be by Deborah Moggach,it seems to ring a bell

Thanks. I've just checked all hers pre 1990 and I don't think so...

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Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 16/12/2022 19:56

carefulcalculator · 16/12/2022 19:31

I am totally over-invested in this, I so hope you find your (miserable) book!

Thank you, me too! Xmas Smile

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Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 16/12/2022 20:01

It sounds like something Elena Ferrante might write but I’m not sure if she was around then (and maybe too Italian?)

bumpertobumper · 16/12/2022 20:06

The hours before dawn by Celia fremlin has a very tired mother and a tragedy along those lines happening to the baby.
Could be that. It's a very good read whether it's the same one or not...

beastlyslumber · 16/12/2022 20:14

This sounds so familiar but I haven't got any new suggestions. I want to know now, though!

walkinthewoodstoday · 16/12/2022 20:32

Have you tried googling novel PND child death?

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 17/12/2022 00:04

bumpertobumper · 16/12/2022 20:06

The hours before dawn by Celia fremlin has a very tired mother and a tragedy along those lines happening to the baby.
Could be that. It's a very good read whether it's the same one or not...

Thanks. It's not that because in my book there was only one child

OP posts:
AConvivialHost · 17/12/2022 08:57

Thank you, thank you, thank you @RUNPMTS!! I was interested in this thread as the book sounded similar to one I read when I was pregnant back in 2005, where the main character has PND/psychosis. That book has haunted me for years, but I couldn't remember the title or author. Just googled A Special Relationship, and that's the one! Not likely to re-read it - once was enough - but happy that I now know the title.

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 17/12/2022 10:30

walkinthewoodstoday · 16/12/2022 20:32

Have you tried googling novel PND child death?

Yes I have... to no avail

OP posts:
InSummertime · 17/12/2022 18:51

I don’t have any other suggestions and I’ve googled for you! I’m invested and I want to read it.

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 17/12/2022 21:50

InSummertime · 17/12/2022 18:51

I don’t have any other suggestions and I’ve googled for you! I’m invested and I want to read it.

Thank you 🙏 let's hope someone comes along who has read it and recognises it

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TheSuperbOwl · 18/12/2022 09:14

This sounds so familiar. Was it adapted as a television series a few years ago do you know?

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 18/12/2022 11:22

TheSuperbOwl · 18/12/2022 09:14

This sounds so familiar. Was it adapted as a television series a few years ago do you know?

Not that I know of.

OP posts:
Communionmom · 18/12/2022 11:32

OP as it was so long ago, do you think you might be mixing up books a bit? Because I’ve done that. Gone searching for a book only to find I remembered bits of one book and bits of another book but in my memory they were the same book.

Or thinking a characters name was X when in fact that was the name of the character in the tv show I watched around the same time.

Especially if you’re sleep deprived with a new baby.

Featheryboa · 18/12/2022 13:15

Was it an aga saga or similar?
Asking because 1990 was very much peak aga saga time.

Nepoyeah · 18/12/2022 13:19

Wait wait wait just opened this I might know it - pnd 3rd child does she have a lodger??

lokking it up on kindle now is prob wrong one

Nepoyeah · 18/12/2022 13:20

… has anyone said The Hours Before Dawn by Celia Fremlin?

Nepoyeah · 18/12/2022 13:22

www.amazon.co.uk/Hours-Before-Dawn-Celia-Fremlin/dp/0571338127/ref=sr_1_1?crid=17BGVVNT7C9K5&keywords=THE+HOURS+BEFORE+DAWN&qid=1671369679&sprefix=the+hours+before+dawn%2Caps%2C88&sr=8-1

If that's not the right one, then it's definitely a good miserable suspense for you you lovely ghoulish festive vipers. pure terrifying misery.

Nepoyeah · 18/12/2022 13:23

Oh sorry someone HAS suggested that! Sorry! I was so excited to know something, anything, that i flicked through and couldn't spot it.

STAND DOWN.

Original poster
FantasticButtocks · 18/12/2022 14:29

Communionmom · 18/12/2022 11:32

OP as it was so long ago, do you think you might be mixing up books a bit? Because I’ve done that. Gone searching for a book only to find I remembered bits of one book and bits of another book but in my memory they were the same book.

Or thinking a characters name was X when in fact that was the name of the character in the tv show I watched around the same time.

Especially if you’re sleep deprived with a new baby.

I don't think I am, but it was more than 30 years ago... but the memory is pretty specific and I've wanted to find it for years!!

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