Which authors' success is a complete mystery to you?

[emkana]

Tony Parsons

Jodi Picoult

Yes, I see what you mean - in that context it is a bit odd that JK has become the standard by which all things are judged. I actually think she IS a pretty terrible writer style-wise, and have never read one of her books from beginning to end... I have, however been read some chapters to DD1 and had to carry on on my own to find out what happened - maybe I'm just a big kid.

Martin Amis is very overrated imho.
Paulo Coelho, too, is one of my pet hates in modern literature.
Re JKR, I haven't read any of her books, or seen any of the films, although sometimes I feel tempted, just to check what the hype is all about.

Stephen King, totally awful, incredibly over-rated, long winded and just plain boring. I'm quite surprised he hasn't been mentioned already. In fact, about 90% of horror books are the most badly written tripe. Trying to get through one when you are over the age of sixteen is a nightmare for a whole different reason than the authors intended.

Tolkien, never saw the point, and I do actually really like the fantasy genre as a whole. I've tried to read LOTR a few times, even got to the beginning of the third book once, before realising that there surely must be more to life. Yawn...

My MIL reads all these David Peltzer poor abused me books. Totally beyond me, but she keeps trying to get me to read them too. Would rather stick hot needles in my eyes, quite frankly.

Would also agree with the anti-chick-lit brigade. I used to like it for pure escapism, but its really all so tedious and samey now.

Jeanette Winterson (except for the first)
Salman Rushdie

Thank you UQD seriel rights to the Daily Mail I think. I will capture the Big Brother holiday market and soon be rolling.
Or Rowling.
Groan with laughter.

Have you thought of offering to ghost write for JKR?
I wish I knew who you were because I think you live quite near me.

Chick lit - particularly the yummy mummy ones ( I know my fault for reading it I blame preg hormones)

Clebs who write but arent writers ie Jools Oliver. Bimboesque and embarrassing. Oh and second Paul Coelho just didnt get it.

+1 vote for Kathy Lette. I really enjoyed the Llama Parlour (back when I was about 15) but then she has just recycled the same jokes over and over and over again. Very poor, and disappointing.

Do we need an "unappreciated genius" thread to complement this one? I.e. authors who you just can't understand why they're not more famous?

Flossie, good idea. I nominate Wally Lamb - brilliant.

In answer to the OP, Monica Ali. Brick Lane was one of the few books I've read that I've had to abandon because I couldn't bear to read it any more. I think it was a description of a child's plaits as being 'stepladders to the roof of her head' that made me finally snap. I'd bought the hardback as well!

Sakura,

Coincidentally I've just re-read everything published (in book form) by Salinger. i think he's a genius. I often go back to him, especially Franny & Zooey. You're not the first person on mumsnet to say they don't like Salinger, andyou're righthe's not rated among British readers as much he is among (some) Americans. You're also right that the novellas can seem datedvery 1950s New York, with all the cigarette smoke, dated lingo, and obsession with psychoanalysis but in another way they don't seem dated at all. As for not being able to sympathize with a young rich white woman, I can see your point sort of (but do you also not like George Eliot, Jane Austen or Virgina Woolf?), but I think Franny's sadness is more to do with the human condition than with her just being a wingy sheltered person. (Ditto Holden Caulfield.) Does that make sense? (You asked for someone to explain!)

Salman Rushdie
Terry Pratchet
Clive Cussler

Celebrity Authors

Ian McEwan...waffle waffle waffle.

Im all for descriptive beutiful writing, but he is so far over the top.

Did anyone see that piece in the Times - a total piss take. Spot on.

Everything is so weepy and waily and grey and intense ALL THE TIME.

Jeremy Clarkson (bluergh!)

That man from the SAS who has written lots of books about their secret (ish) ops.

Had to give up on Pillip Pullamn. I just thought the his dark materials trilogy was a bit...well...rubbish.

I think JK is good. She writes a good, compelling, twisty story. She's sustained an interesting arc throughout 8 books. She has a vivid imagination. Her prose is not amazing - downright pedestrian at times. But she is not rubbish. BUT UQD I take your point about beckhamising everything.

AM with Pan on George Eliot being ace.

And with all the dissers of
Paulo Coehlo
chicklit
Tony Parsons
my life is shitter than yours but with my positive attitude and can-do spirit i overcame adversity and then made myself wealthy
Arlington Park

Irvine Welsh, Trainspotting ok but the rest just published off the back of that, not interested in his anal sex obsession.

Mike Gayle so boring!!!

Any irritating "emotional exhibitionism", the worst of all being....Elizabeth Wurtzel, Prozac Nation, have never met a depressed person so totally full of their own self importance as she is!!

When I was younger I would read a book to the very end despite what I thought to give it a chance. Now though with a toddler and one on the way life's too short! I really hated that Lovely Bones (Alice Sebold was it??) It was soo boring, others I know though loved it. Also dislike Ben Elton although I love Blackadder and the Young Ones.

Absolute fave, Agatha Christie, I have her whole catalogue and dip in and out whenever I want a really good read. She's timeless.

I always feel that Rachel Cusk wants to be a 'writer' more than she wants to write, IYSWIM.

Want to whinge on more about her, but larahusky has summed it up really!

neighbour, thanks for the insight. He is a bit like marmite then- love him or hate him. I know F&Z is trying to find answers but other great authors have pondered the same kind of questions with so much more flair than Salingers introspective "ramblings". (Actually Zooey was the one I couldn't sympathise with.)
I want to say he doesn't really deserve to be on this list, but then again no, that F&Z...Salinger can't "tell a story", which in my book is what a writer should do, rather than give philosophy lectures. If I want philosophy, I want it woven subtly into the fabric of the story, not pounded in my face.

I read Rachel Cusk's first novel years ago when she was a hot young piece of totty published by Picador. I can't remember a single thing about it.

Lucky you, UD!

I read that too Unquiet - and ditto

"Saving Agnes" it was called.
I think it would annoy the hell out of me now. At the time I just thought "meh". (Or would have done if there had been such a word in 1993...)

Oh, this is hilarious

Rachel Cusk joins a book group

And plugs her own book, naturally...

Wow, she's very patronising!