Barnanabas, the lighthouse book sounds like it might be a perfect birthday gift for my DM, thank you. Also loving the concept of an upstairs book and a downstairs book Ravenclawsome - it sounds very decadent 
47. My Rock 'n' Roll Friend, Tracey Thorn
I wouldn't have picked this up if I hadn't happened to read a review which piqued my interest - a story of female friendship in the music industry, featuring the drummer from a band I'd never heard of? But I'm so glad I read it - what a great book.
Lindy Morrison was the drummer of The Go Betweens, an Australian 80s band who are often described as "the best band you've never heard of" (seriously, check out "Cattle and Cane" on Youtube, it's a great song). Both Lindy's life story and the story of the band and its simmering resentments are fascinating - think Daisy Jones and the Six except not made up and not trashy. The story of Lindy and the band, though, is also the story of being a woman in a male industry, of working twice as hard and being twice as good but only getting noticed for your looks or what you're wearing. It's the story of how myths are made, and who makes them, and who gets put at the centre and who gets left out. I am absolutely not a music industry nerd but I've worked in "male" industries all my life and so much of this story resonated with me.
The other half of this story is the friendship between Lindy and Tracey Thorn, and this is told with affecting honesty and emotional openness - there's so much cheesy cliched writing about the friendship between women but this isn't an example of that. I was reminded, when I stopped to think about the friendship element, of Elena Ferrante - the mixture of emotions that Thorn describes when she thinks about her outspoken, obnoxious, courageous and open-hearted friend.
Female friendship can be so complicated. Too often people are sentimental, and idealise it, focusing on the closeness, the warmth, the empathy. When I'm being honest, I will admit that I have hated female friends, possible more than I have ever hated anyone else. Certainly more than I've hated any man.....
We need our women friends in order to see ourselves mirrored and validated: to counter those moments we all experience when it feels like we don't exist in the world; when we look and can't find ourselves; when we are erased, pushed to the margins, written out of the story; when we start to feel invisible. In those moments our female friends are invaluable to us.
Thorn is a good writer - I hadn't made the connection between songwriting (which I tend to think of as a musical process, with the words being a sideline) and the writing of prose. But she does. On one of the most moving moments in the book she picks out some beautiful turns of phrase from Lindy's letters and diaries and imagines them as song lyrics, wondering why Lindy never tried to write her own songs:
I can't help thinking of the voices we miss, the art that doesn't happen, the work that women don't make because they underestimate themselves.
If you want a book about women in the 80s music industry, this is a great one. If you think (like me) that you really DON'T want a book about women in the 80s music industry, but you want to read something absorbing, poignant and thought-provoking, then give this one a try - it's much more than you think it's going to be.