which childrens' books do you NOT like

[ahundredtimes]

I know we're grateful if they read anything at all etc etc, but there are some books which make me howl with misery at the thought of MY having to read and others which I just wish they wouldn't read.

For me: any of those fairy books, The Secret Seven and (from long ago) anything featuring that dog, Spot or that blimmin sheep Wooly who lives on that farm with Mrs Boot and her children.

for them: Captain Underpants, Horrid Henry - everybody is so darn nasty - and that one that's a bit like Captain Underpants but is about robots.

no one buys guess i love you
tis shit

I dont like
Thomas the Tank,
the Mr men drive me insane and I cant stand and refuse to read "green bloody eggs and bloody ham"

I like Owl babies!

Agree on the Mr Men though - I remember them from when I was little but the writing is bizarre for young children.

I don't like the old lady who swallowed a fly - the illustrations annoy me and I just think the whole premise of the story is mad.

Well if no-one buys geuss how much, how come everyone has it? Actually DD has developed an obsession with I love you books... So is always trying to wangle for:

I forgot to say I love you
Hey I love you
Guess how much I love you

And you know what, I'm on my third round of ORT books. That takes some stamina. Have noticed through repeptitive reading some odd things in these books though -

1. why so many spectacles abandoned on the ground (go and look, they're always there. Why? Who loses this many pairs of glasses?
2. What's the story with the creepy janitor in the baseball cap who works at the school, but oddly pops up in other places, lurking in the background?

There's subtext there, I'm telling you.

Oh cod all of mine (includign DD) loved Dig Dig Digging.

DS2 is 4 and still really likes it. We have to find all the vehicles at the end tho in a bit of a Mr Man stylee.

I know Pants as well. (we have to cont the pants at the end which is a bit tricky for DS2) Did you know there's a new version? Surely just cashing in tho.

do you know 100times, that is surely the final and conclusive argument against having 4 children.

Am shuddering in advance a bit at Oh Floppy and The Pancake when DS2 starts school in sept. lolol

Yes, Clary, it is for sure.
Come on someone, surely you've seen and wondered about those glasses?

someone told dd you're supposed to be able to spot the glasses on each double page - a bit like the duck in the usbourne books but I have no clue whether that's true or not

Is it that simple? Have started new thread in hope of finding out the truth. . .

You know that lost key fox, hate to spoil it for you, but you know what - it's magic. . . .

I hate any book or story in which the character names alliterate. Why for example can't a tortoise be called, say, Eugene and not Tommy...? So this also rules out Thomas the Tank and Percy the Park for me.

Crotchety - this brings us right back to Spot and Helen the Hippo.

I have got a Guess How Much I Love You book thingy (can't remember the proper name) where you log "daddy's name is............, mummy's name is.............., my name is..............., I first smiled.........). I filled the first two pages then gave up (naughty naughty mummy).

I don't like the Thomas books either. Don't like pop-up books as they always get ripped.

OI DOGSBY - what was that thread you linked? It was WEIRD. It was all about bonfire nights and whether T & T's sister was adopted and whether her name was Tamsin or not.
It's a cult. You're trying to draw me in to a cult.

yes the t and t fans on here are abit weird
there was oen once that made me wet me cekcs when bakedpotato( think t was her) mentioned topsys bhaviour int he shoe shop

animal ark
rainbow fairies
those soppy sam mcbratney ones
thomas the f#ing tank

roger red hat and the village with 3 f*&^%$ corners... school reading scheme. Had enough of it first time around with DS1 and like nails down a blackboard second time around....sun was still shining in at the bleeding window.

Mr Men
Horrid Henry
Noddy -REALLY can't stand Noddy
Tinymum - I've thought that about The Worst Witch - thought it was just me. Bet what's her name that wrote them is fuming!

We only have the bath book version of The Rainbow Fish, but keep meaning to lose it as the message of 'you have to buy friends' really rankles. Maybe the full version is a bit less mercenary? I don't know.

To go with the contemptible fish, I also hate a book called The Best Chip which DH bought DD. An insufficently short paean to 'chobbling' chips. I cannot physically say 'chobbling'. Ugh.

The one I really won't read though is a personalised Winnie the Pooh book the in-laws bought DD for Christmas. It's SO badly written, I can't bear it.

This evening, I got: tail end of Fox in Socks (I have set myself the challenge of getting through this without tripping over my tongue once, haven't managed it yet), Miffy (I had such happy memories of Miffy from childhood, cos the illustrations are lovely, but the books are AWFUL), Captain Pike Looks After The Baby (love this) and Mr Tickle (one of the better Mr Men, I reckon).

Have had to censor the book of fairy tales due to midnight wakings and whitterings about witches and goblins, it's not fair.

Guess How Much I Love You - I don't, you're a fucking crap book.

I hate Princess Smartypants too - the words are too silly and obvious. DD1 likes it though.

Mr Men & My Little Thomas Library books. Dreadful.

Anything adapted from a TV programme (with the exception of Charlie & Lola).

Jill Murphy - hate you!

cat in the hat - shat
thomas the tank - wank
Mr men - dead again
Guess how much i love you - dog poo
qpootle5- man alive
miffy - make me squiffy
peepo - need to throw
spot - what????

Yup, the Mr Men books, and Spot are pretty grisly. I reckon our worst is a book called Machine Mates - a real favourite of my son's unfortunately. The premise is that a bunch of diggers etc find a treasure map, dig a monstrous hole in the ground and to their delight find a chest full of sweets .

ds has a facination with/terror of wolves. So we get every wolf book going. Neil Gaimans
"Wolves in the Walls" is genius, but that one called "Wolves" where the rabbit gets the wolf book from the library and ends up as a blood stain gave us all sleepless nights for a month.

oh and I hate the Man on the Moon book. He is such a gormless git.