Most long and boring book ever written

[Siwi]

Done Proust. Done Nelson Mandela autobiography etc.

The Children's Book AS Byatt 624 pages. I couldn't finish it and I finish almost everything.

God, I agree with Tolkien. He was the original geek.

The Fucking Hobbit. Old Headteacher used to read it every Friday in school assembly. EVERY Friday for 4 sodding years.

She's read Ullyses. She's tough. Might need political memoir. I don't know how to break them.

Their bedside tables and night reading with nt bookmarks appear to be an emblem of Faith.

Have you tried DH Lawrence? I tried one of his books once but couldn't get on with it at all. Can't remember which one other than it wasn't Lady Chatterley's Lover.

I like Tolkien but admittedly the beginning bit of Lord of the Rings is very slow.

I loved the Goldfinch. She painted such a clear picture in my head of every scene and how the characters are feeling. Didn't like the last few pages though. Trying too hard.

But agree with the Children's Book. No interest in any of the characters. Bored me rigid.

Adam fecking Bede. Oh my god. We actually had a ritual burning at uni when we finished that module. Adam Bede is a big borin bastard it should have been called.

Shanta-bloody-ram.

The Return of the Native is not boring!!! I sometimes read the first chapter just to wallow in Hardy's descriptive writing.

Moby Dick is boring, as is Romola. The Hobbit is so unreadable that I've never even attempted LotR.

The Magic Mountain is one I've never tried but I have it on good authority that it's boring in German.

They have read most of these. They both had some sort of bizarre education.
That's why I got onto Nelson.

Eg. Is Bill Clinton bringing out anything in volume form?

Treatise on next ten years of European Economic Growth?

(Is wow that bad?

I love Dickens but Bleak House is just dull dull dull.....

Also, The Iliad

An idea. I read the 'the secret history' and enjoyed.
But was not the second or the third long and awful?

If you want to break them, write a new fake diary.

I love the Iliad!

Magic mountain looking good. Must check if read.

Al Gores An Inconvenient Truth is deadly dull I am told, never ventured into it!

Pickwick papers was so boring. I lost count of the number of times Mr Pickwick ate chops didn't the Victorians eat anything else

I think I would love the Iliad if I hadnt been forced to take every single fucking sentence to bits to analyse it for A Level Classical Civs. Its a great story but as if often the case, the more you are forced to study a book, the more joy is sucked out of it.

I feel the same about most other books I did at school!

Good idea about a new diary.

Hand it over saying that as they had enjoyed the first one so much, you thought they woudl love the sequel. Include things like "....and drove past a new care home that has opened. Looks nice, took down the number, must ring them after Xmas to see about vacancies..." :o

Liney.
They have a sort of religious pact never not to finish a book

Now this is a bit of a specialist one but The Countess of Pembroke's Arcadia by Sir Philip Sidney will make you want to gouge your eyes out with a tea spoon. Trust me on this one. It's a perfect storm of dull, impenetrable and long - but it has an added frisson of allegedly "proper" literature. It's a perfect slap down of a book - you'd sort of throw it down and say "I'd love to hear your views on this".

The added bonus is there are probably some Revision Notes on it somewhere so you wouldn't actually need to read it yourself.

I'd add to that Daniel Deronda by George Eliot (worse even than Romola) and really pretty much any Henry James (I nodded at the Golden Bowl, although What Maisie Knew is pretty awful).

You could try one of the dull books suggested in this article OP

www.theguardian.com/books/booksblog/2011/jan/04/best-boring-books

The Bible it is, then.

A suitable boy is quite a long book but not a bad read. Never finished middlemarch or war and peace. Maybe the capital book by Thomas piketty?