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Original poster

Three shoes, one sock, no hairbrush

27 replies

Spoo · 30/04/2006 13:22

I am 37 weeks pregnant with DS2 and have just read this book. Anyone else find it depressing? I know having two kids will not be a breeze but IYO is it that bad?

OP posts:
Enid · 30/04/2006 13:23

THROW IT AWAY

i WON it on mumsnet when pg with dd2 and it is ridiculously depressing

its not like that, honest (have just had third so how bad could two have been)

lockets · 30/04/2006 13:26

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lockets · 30/04/2006 13:27

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SoupDragon · 30/04/2006 13:36

Ah... you should have started to read it after having your second child so that you didn't have time to look at more than the first 6 pages :o

In its own way, having the 2nd is just as much of a shock as having the first but you get over it quicker :)

Nemo1977 · 30/04/2006 13:57

I read half of it when PG with DD and decided to not bother with the rest. IT was all sooo negative etc. Believe me it was/is nothing like her book said. According to that book my 2yr age gap was too small and leading me to fall from a great height!

GeorginaA · 30/04/2006 14:04

Spoo, hand on heart ... looking after a baby and a toddler is EASIER than looking after a toddler while 37 weeks pregnant. Yes, two children are harder than one ... but not twice as hard, imo :) And Soupy is spot on - you adjust MUCH quicker.

ProfYaffle · 30/04/2006 14:23

I've got this book, am ttc with no2 atm. Horrible, horrible, scary thing. it's been shoved to the back of the book shelf and I'm pretending I never read it.

hana · 30/04/2006 14:23

didn't like that book at all found it v condescending

jamiesam · 30/04/2006 14:28

Is it really that bad? I read it while ttc no. 3. Thought it was OK but must have been 'pre pg hormones' clouding my judgement. Having 2 has been alternately hard work and much easier than I imagined!

motherinferior · 30/04/2006 14:28

She is utterly pathetic, that journalist. She writes airily about how impossible it is to get two kids to nursery on time in the mornings because oh no she could never put their clothes out the night before...get over yourself, honey. I read it in mounting amazement someone so hopeless had ever met a deadline (in fact I bet she doesn't).

I have two kids, I am a totally incompetent mother, and I've managed really quite capably for the past nearly three years. Sure, having two is quite hard work but it's quite feasible. You do have to be quite organised to make it work smoothly but that isn't exactly rocket science.

suzywong · 30/04/2006 14:29

yes I agree with MI, she is a flake who got a lucky pitch in to her agent.
Load of pants

marthamoo · 30/04/2006 14:31

Stooopid book. Isn't it nice to be able to slag off a parenting book without threat of litigation Wink?

jamiesam · 30/04/2006 14:39

I think I liked the descriptions of chaos - that a family who looked totally well organised when out in public were just like us in private.

Is there a parenting book that everyone has agreed is completely brilliant?

Nemo1977 · 30/04/2006 14:42

I think the only reaosn it was published is because books on 2ndtime plus parenting seemed to be very limited...Maybe MN should do one!
Actually quite fancy doing one myself..lol

suzywong · 30/04/2006 15:38

Penelope Leach seems to be pretty well liked, any offers on a barny?

Moomin · 30/04/2006 15:46

i found vicki iovine's books enjoyable and quite 'realistic' if you take out the fact that she's american and they do things a bit differently over there. She's certainly not everyone's cup of tea but i got on well with her writing style. In the 'best friends' guide to motherhood' and 'todderhood' there are some bits about the next child. one thing she did say that i refused to believe when i was pg with dd2 is that you (shock and horror) can 'go off' child no1 for a bit whilst you fall in love with the baby. i was utterly horrified at this notion but... it came true just for a while, and i was gald i'd read it beforehand and didn't think it was just me. we got over it pretty quick and now they both get on my nerves equally Grin

GeorginaA · 30/04/2006 16:10

LOL at equally getting on your nerves - I've now got to that stage Grin ... I'd forgotten that bit. I like Vicki Iovine too.

GeorginaA · 30/04/2006 16:10

In terms of books I liked, although it's a little soon to read it when the second is just a baby, I found Siblings Without Rivalry was great for reassuring me that I could cope with anything that came up.

anchovies · 30/04/2006 16:14

I burnt this book after giving birth to number 2! No joke!

Seriously depressed me at a point when I really, really didn't need it. Turned out to all be b*llocks anyway (in my opinion of course!)

notasheep · 30/04/2006 16:18

Annabel Heseltines book on Motherhood is fab and intelligent.
I have a free copy of 3 shoes collecting dust if anybody wants it, i dont!

Original poster
Spoo · 30/04/2006 19:16

Thank you so much for the words of reassurance. My DS is 15 months at starting to get to more of a handful. The thought that I will not cope with the two of them. I was worried about how I would cope with number 1 - but now knowing what I know now - I am starting to wonder if I am mad! Georgina - I don't really enjoy pregnancy so i am glad to know you think that being pregnant with a Toddler is harder than the two.

OP posts:
GeorginaA · 30/04/2006 20:50

Spoo - it really is. And I know others on my postnatal mumsnet thread found the same.

For the last 8-10 weeks pregnant I was exhausted and spent lots of time trying to persuade my toddler to watch television while I semi-dozed on the sofa. I wasn't getting good sleep at night. I had a thousand and one worries about the pregnancy, the baby, how ds1 would cope...

About 2 weeks after the birth, I suddenly found I could run after ds1 again. Okay, so not lots of energy but I did have the energy to interact with him more and be a better mummy. The baby just basically ate, slept and pooed and I'd done all that before anyway. The new challenges were to keep the toddler entertained and working out a way to carry all the extra "stuff" around with us! Okay, nights were interrupted with a newborn, but I slept well in between. I was more relaxed with the baby because it wasn't such a strange and worrying experience.

For me, I'd definitely say that the culture shock of 0-1 was a lot harder to deal with than the changes from 1 child to 2.

GeorginaA · 30/04/2006 20:55

Oh, and I completely agree with motherinferior that having two does require a greater degree of organisation than with the first :)

With ds1 I remember not really getting out for the first few weeks... my first major expedition into town was when he was 5 weeks old. With ds2 I was out on day 3 taking ds1 to nursery :) With ds1 I rarely got out before 10am. Ds2 was usually up and out by 8.30am (again for nursery or toddler group or something...) If he hadn't finished eating then tough... he'd have a doze in the pram for a bit, then resume his meal when we got to where we were going :)

Ds2 had colic which was hard going (ds1 didn't) - but that wasn't something that was intrinsic to having 2 children as such - colic is hard whichever the birth order.

WWWontSlagOffAnyone · 30/04/2006 21:02

Spoo, I too found the second much much easier than the first, you'll be fine. Stupid book. Grin Marthamoo (I prefer it to SL btw)

expatinscotland · 30/04/2006 21:09

I had PND w/both girls and am glad I never encountered this book before having DD2.

It's like reading 'The Lovely Bones' when you've just lost someone close to you.