What book wouldn't you read in a fit,even if you were locked in a cell with it (and nowt else) for weeks on end????

[moondog]

'Bravemouth' (I need another set of inverted commas for that one) Pamela Stephenson.

I sooooooo don't care about the self indulgent musings on deprived infancy by a purple bearded Scottish shortarse as related by his even more tedious wife.

I reckon Auto da Fey (Fay Weldon) and Unreliable Memoirs (Clive James) were quite fine really, so not all autobiogs are awful.

agree with sagas and miserable childhood genre. also hate chicklit. and Dan Brown. And Karin Slaughter.

That book that Fay Weldon wrote, sponsored by Bulgari. Actually, make that any Fay Weldon book. I HATE her style. 'What strange creatures women are! Laura stared out of the window, jingling her glamorous Bulgari bracelet, forgetting her children. How little children believe that mothers do not think of them all the time! How amazingly wise I am!'

sorry that was clearly triggered by ItalianJ's post, my apols IJ.

The Protocols of the Elders of Zion.

Robert burns..i apologise if anybody loves him and indeed Sir Walter Scott

any chick lit novel with a yellow cover, 'jaunty' handwriting style font and a wacky title - "Single Right female" etc etc

BOAK

I never finished Lord of the Flies either. I wouldn't read the book by Ian McEwan about a child being kidnapped although I have liked his other work.

I'll forgive you Acnebride

god yes Enid, agree boak to anything with a chicklit cover/writing etc..

I know I've been around for a while but what is BOAK?

please

think it's a Scottish term, Jools, I first saw expatinscotland using it.

thanks and

I concur

Probably Ulysses would scare me off. Has anyone read it? \link{http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/arts/3810193.stm\This} is a funny cheats guide to it though

I studied the child abduction one Madameplatypus - I'm not sure I would have enjoyed it so much had I had children. I get the impression its the kind of thing that needs studying too - everyone I told that I liked it, couldn't see why .

Probably unpopular here, but I've never made it to the end of Jane Eyre - despite numerous attempts! I think that could be down to having to read it for school, and it tainted me (I read half, and watched many different film versions ).

If I were actually locked in prison I would read anything, I'd be desparate, so that would include Jeffery Archer, chick lit, Mein Kampf and the sign on the back of the cell door telling me not to hang myself. But then, I clearly have no inner life.

I really would read anything, I sit on the loo and read the backs of shampoo bottles!

Other than that, all my pet hates have been mentioned, but must add I would make a huge pyre and burn every single bloody Rev. W Awdry sodding Thomas book before I read one again.

actually I might struggle with Mr Men books

Headscarf books - any tale of betrayed trust and heart warming solidarity set in the forties.

Far from the madding crowd - I tried, I really did, but I just couldn't. And I read encyclopedias!

jodee, i read bottles in the bathroom too

I also agree with you on the thomas books, especailly so as we seem to have a copy of each book on video/DVD too.
Burn the lot of them!!

the republic of love by carol shields.everybody put on your lists of books never to read....it's shite!!!!!
in reality i would read absolutely anything if i was in a cell, but just pretending..anything by raymond .e.feist or anybody else who writes fantasy novels about bloody wizards!
and the name of the rose.

colleen mccullough books are in a completely different league to catherine cookson by the way-really good writing.

i love chicklit

i can send dh to the library and say 'just get me anything with a pink cover' and he gets it right

LT! got any matches??

Anything by David Baddiel
Mystical sci-fi nonsense - The Sword of Branwen, The Shield of Godwin, the Breastplate of Norkmeister etc etc

Name of the Rose - I couldn't get through the church door.
Anything by A.S. Byatt - literary novels at their most pretentious. And the name Frederica [yuck] - what was she thinking of to give a character that name (apologies to any Fredericas out there ).

Good autobiography:

CIDER WITH ROSIE: (Laurie Lee)

David Gemmell is an appalling Sci-Fi writer (I know some of you think there's no such thing as a good one, but LOTR is one of the most powerful books ever written so there), who is obsessed in an ever-so-slightly homo-erotic way with very fit older men wearing sandals and a simple tunic, and eating a simple meal of bread, cheese and olives and living a simple life.

And fighting the forces of darkness.

With a big sword.

well I used to be a big fan of michael moorcroft books but i might pass on those now..sorry any fans of conan the barbarian