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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

i am a fat hideous frump. i need a medical type cure.

82 replies

DisasterArea · 02/11/2008 18:30

am considering going to the drs. am v fat. lifestyle makes it impossible to eat normal food at normal times. i am also partial to cake and cheese and wine. although i really don't eat loads of crap.
i don't do real exercise. again lifestyle and knackeredness is difficult and am really too fat to do much.
don't lecture me. i am not stupid.
does anyone have any experience of what to say to GP? what to start with? who to ask to be referred to?

OP posts:
cheekysealion · 02/11/2008 20:49

good for you sycamore that is a fantastic acheivment, you must feel fab...

I have had hypnosis, and bought every book from amazon about food addiction

swiftyknickers · 02/11/2008 20:51

www.pig2twig.co.uk

book is fab,funny and deals wit issues surrondin emotional eatin, is candid,written by women for women

ave dieted for 10 years, ti is te last i will ever do, am eatin better tan ever and can already see te difference

i am almost evangelical about it

missin keys as you can see grrrrrrrr

swiftyknickers · 02/11/2008 20:53

evangelical sycamore snap

Sycamoretree · 02/11/2008 20:57

Thank you Cheeky (we have had to learn just to say thank you to a compliment on this diet, rather than bat it back or rubbish it - it's about self esteem!).

I didn't really answer your question before about control around food. The answer is Yes, I do - I have little psychological tools I have learned. The principal one is about "coming into the adult self". Often, we we are over eating, there is often a rebellious child element at work. For me, if someone tried to tell me I shouldn't eat that extra portion of chips, it would make me eat double what I had intended, just to say "screw you for telling me what to do". They also teach you to beware of "I'll just..." There is no "just" when you are a food addict. So in short, if biscuits are your downfall, you may ultimately decide that you aren't a person that can eat just one, so maybe biscuits are only something you have when offered one round at a mates, rather than buying them in, IYSWIM.

There are so many things said on this thread which ring so true of what we have all admitted in this group, and then worked on. They call it "Crooked Thinking". I'll start tomorrow - if noone sees me, it doesn't count - if it's off the kids plate, it doesn't count and on and on and on!

I have had days when I've felt myself going under - old patterns of behaviour around food - especially when stressed, unhappy or overtired. We mostly use food as a sedative -to avoid dealing with what we are really feeling. If we're tired, we eat, we're unhappy, we eat. We're celebrating, we eat, we stressed, we eat. We use it as a band aid for everything, and as such, we fail to deal with real issues in our life...or to properly prioritise ourselves. Instead we get fatter, more miserable about it, and turn to the hamster wheel of food again. It's a pretty terrifying cycle to be on, and at least this diet gave me a chance to step off it for a moment, and taking a f-ing breath!

eighteenstonesix · 02/11/2008 20:59

Yes Sycamore,she did go through all the counselling etc.(COS,TO BE HONEST,I WAS GOBSMACKED THAT SHE WAS EVEN LETTING ANYONE IN....SHE WAS A PROPER HARDENED DRINKER,EATER ETC).Anyway,i'm not trying to put you/lighterlife down. I just want something that works without hurting/putting me in hospital etc.

Sycamoretree · 02/11/2008 20:59

Forgot to add that whenever I've had these moments of going under again, going back to my weekly group is always the thing that brings me back into focus, and re-energises me about re-embracing healthier patterns around eating.

cheekysealion · 02/11/2008 21:04

it sounds like you have had a great experience on the diet and learnt loads....

I want to get to the stage where i recongnise hunger, and eat beacause i am hungry

Sycamoretree · 02/11/2008 21:06

That's really sad about your friend Eighteen - and of course, it's ridiculous to imagine this diet would be for everyone, so I totally respect your point of view on it - especially as you saw it fail at such close proximity.

A guy at work did it, which inspired me. He did end up with a gall stone, which had to be removed. But he didn't care a jot - he was so happy. So yes, there are bound to be some side effects to such a rapid weight loss.

One final thing on this diet - for cheeky really, since she seems vaguely interested (!). It did get quite a good write up in the Times Body and Soul a while ago. They attribute much of it's success to how motivating it is to lose the weight so quickly. I lost 7 lbs in my first week, for e.g., Some lost 12! A lot of that is glycogen, but it does spur you on. YOu can expect to lose 3 lbs a week or more if you stick to it. They guarantee 3 stone in 14 weeks. Apparently, dieters often lose heart on other diets because the progress is so slow.

Also, in case we aren't all aware of the statistics, I think it's 85% of all dieters put back all their weight, and possibly more, within a year. So, with those scary statistics in mind, I definitely reckon whatever you do to lose the weight, you need SOME kind of counselling alongside it to give you a shot of keeping it off.

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 02/11/2008 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sycamoretree · 02/11/2008 21:12

Yes, we mostly confuse thirst for hunger - apparently they feel the same in humans.

Many of us in our group confessed we didn't think we'd properly had hunger pangs in absolutely years. They are a novelty - but you know, I'm still learning and by no means setting myself out as the "all cured" lighterlife girl. Everyday I'm having some little internal battles around what I will or won't eat. I just hope that as time goes on, the noises in my head will quieten down.

Interestingly - I have a thin friend who I asked about her eating habits to get some insight. She was so shocked I considered her my thin friend. She said she felt like a fat person constantly fighting not to go back down that road...I was so . She is ridiculously militant about her diet. So, you know, I think it's pretty much a myth that anyone, in this day of super sized cookies, and muffins (compare portion size of starbucks muffins now to what you'd have got in the coop cafe when we were growing up!) gets to just "eat what they want". Its just that some people have mechanisms in their heads to put limits on things.

cheekysealion · 02/11/2008 21:13

sycamoretree

thankyou for taking the time to post so much info.. best wishes on the rest of your journey....

i think the rapid loss must really inspire you

Sycamoretree · 02/11/2008 21:14

Good luck

loucee · 02/11/2008 21:35

Sycamore, I've got a friend who has lost 5 stone on Lighterlife and feels/looks great, well done for your weight loss

What about exercise? It's a well known fact that we need to burn/not eat 3500 calories to lose 1lb in weight so Ive been trying to combine limiting my calorie intake with exercise (a mix of walking really fast with the pram and gym sessions/running) to achieve weight loss.

Good luck to everyone, it's fab that you are ready to talk to the Dr etc, I hope you achieve your target

Niecie · 02/11/2008 22:42

Sycamore - You must feel really chuffed - you deserve it though as it must have been hard work.

I briefly looked into Lighter Life and was a impressed by the speed with which you can expect to start losing - I think it is right, for me anyway, that the horribly slow pace of losing weight is a hugely demotivating factor.

The other thing that is a huge demotivator for me is that food always seems to be a factor, something you have to give head space to forever more - there seems to be no cure. All the slimming clubs seem to have some sort of maintenance plan and lots of people simply don't keep the weight off.

I hate the idea that it is something that I have to think about forever more - that I can't just eat a healthy diet and not worry about my weight or what I eat because if I take my foot off the pedal it will be back to square one.

And I am using this as another excuse for not doing anything but that is pretty pathetic.

cheekysealion · 03/11/2008 07:03

ok after last nights posts.... today i pledge that i will eat well and not binge

Niecie · 03/11/2008 12:00

Good luck Cheekysealion.

I have bought myself Wii Fit last week and used it for the first time this morning, now nobody is around! It could be good, if I can be bothered to keep it up. Now all I have to do is get a grip on the eating! Easy!

Sycamoretree · 03/11/2008 13:19

Niece - don't lose heart - although I completely understand where that is coming from - I feel it too! If it helps to think of it this way:

When you first learn to drive, you feel awkward, every little action has to be thought about, and is separate from another. You feel like you'll never get the hang of it. Then somehow, it all comes together, and after a few years of driving, it's all second nature, like one fluid movement.

This is how it can be with food, I think, if you practice eating well for long enough. It becomes automatic to reach for the wise choice most of the time, and allow yourself to indulge and really eat the stuff you love, say, just on weekends, or around special occasions.

At least you recognise that you are using it as an excuse - the first step is coming out of denial!

I still don't excercise to my shame, but with my two very small children and a full time job, I have to accept that I can't do everthing. So yes, my stomach doesn't stick out anymore, but it's still saggy as an old sack!

matildax · 03/11/2008 13:42

hello everyone.. please can i join you all?
i have to go out now but will come back later, and talk to you about my problems with food, and what the gp has recommended for me.

today i feel really repulsive, have eaten far too much over the weekend. i am certainly not one of these people who do not eat through times of stress. i comfort eat, till i feel sick.

i really hate myself and my disgusting appearance today.

i really hope you lot are feeling more positve than me.
i am hoping that today is just a bad day.
xx

Niecie · 03/11/2008 13:56

Oh Matildax - don't say that

Come and have a chat and we'll cheer you up. I am sure that it isn't as bad as it seems - today is a new day and all that.

Sycamore - thanks for your wise words. I know what you are saying but it all takes so long! I know it has taken 4 years to get into this state but I just wish it wasn't going to take 4 years to get out of it!!

I so don't want to become a diet bore even if the only person I bore is myself!!

Sycamoretree · 03/11/2008 14:16

It'd definitely overwhelming when you think of it like that - too overwhelming in fact - you can't look at such a big mountain and hope to be able to climb it. Much better I think to think about one day at a time.

One thing I can PROMISE you, is that WHEN (not if!) you get to a place where you have lost the weight, the feeling is so incredible that you have renewed energy to keep on the path. It's not the same feeling as it is when you are still carrying the weight. At the beginning of this diet, I actually felt like I was already in mourning for the way I eat - i.e whatever the fuck I pleased. I DID NOT WANT TO STOP EATING, I JUST WANTED TO BE THING AGAIN!

Well, once you're thinner, your body actual does seem to demand less food, and the longer you can maintain, the less fluctuation seems to occur after a heavy meal or whatever.

Don't think about the top of the mountain. Think about today, and that 7 todays eating well could mean 3lbs off by this time next week.

Do a little chart - put stickers on it when you've acheived an ideal day. Crucially, have a sensible plan, and stick to it. Don't let your head suddenly talk you into the fact that you're now doing atkins, even when you're on Weight Watchers, because you can't resist some bacon and eggs etc. Nothing so shitty as trying and failing.

Finally, don't start until you are in that head space where it's do or die. Once that switch clicks - go for it, don't waver, and do not look back!

Sycamoretree · 03/11/2008 14:17

Thin again, not THING again

Niecie · 03/11/2008 14:23

Sycamore you have many wise words - I just want that click moment to happen now. To get to the point where I can't stand being fat any more and HAVE to be thinner.

I know in my head I need to be thinner, goodness knows the evidence is there when I look in the mirror but I still can't get that motivation going.

I really don't think going to a slimming club will cut it for me - if I don't follow the plan or lose any weight, it will just be a case of 'sod it, I won't go this week' and that will be the end of it!

But you are right, I know that already, the first step is to lose a few pounds, probably half a stone or it will feel like a normal fluctuation or a fluke, and then I might feel that I had something worth continuing with.

Watch this space!

ledodgy · 03/11/2008 14:24

DA I agree with MMJ Slimming Wordl is fab. I'm also 5"7 ish, when I started SW I was 16 stone 4.5 and a size 20 I am now 12 stone 8 and ideally want to be around 11 stone. It really has been the best thing I ever did and i've done it twice as I got pregnant after losing initially and put 2 stone back on! I never go hungry on SW it's family friendly and easy.

ChairmumMiaow · 03/11/2008 16:13

I've had success with weight watchers - I don't like diets that don't let me eat a balanced diet (e.g. low carb/high protein)

I consistently lost weight on it, but stopped for some seemingly good reason (the £5 a week is always one!) then the loss stopped and over the next year or whatever, it crept back on.

I'm currently 16st9 having lost a stone from BF and carrying a 22lb baby everywhere in a sling. The weight seems to be still coming off, but if it stops then I think I'm going back to weight watchers, as I'm pretty sure my weight contributed to making my labour not the best (monitoring bands wouldn't stay on, so they broke my waters to put a scalp monitor on then wouldn't let me move!)

Anyway, I can completely identify with the bingeing, obsessive eating etc, although I seem to go through phases with it.

Buda · 03/11/2008 16:31

I feel like a fat hideous frump too. I am 5ft 7 and about 16 and a half stone.

Tried WW. Tried SW. Tried Atkins - lost 2 stone. Put 3 back on. Tried SW again. Tried low GI. Tried Atkins again.

Have just bought Jason Vale's juicing books as recommended by a few others on here. Planning on starting on Wednesday as am out for dinner tomorrow night.

I know my problems. I eat too much, drink too much and don't exercise. Funnily enough I don't eat mega portions generally - my MIL can't understand why I am overweight as she cannot leave food on a plate and I can. I have a problem with carbs - really love stodge.