I don't suppose anyone wants to be my boss/controller/dictator, do they? [hopeful] [desperate]

[Hecate]

I've just weighed myself and I've put nearly half a stone back on -at self!

I really want to hand control of my eating over to someone else I know that's crap of me but I just want someone else to take the responsibility and I can follow their instructions - how stupid is that!

So does anyone want to tell me what to have for lunch and dinner today? I had a banana chopped into some fatfree yoghurt for breakfast.

• I'm feeling pretty crap about it all. I just want someone to 'take over'. Now, all messing about aside - I do know nobody can do that, and it's all down to me, I'm just talking about my emotions and a need to just 'give' my problem to someone else to deal with. Just for a bit.

Nah, I'm too lazy But what does work well for me is having a kind of tick list; not specific, but generals, that you mark off each as you've had it in a day. When all ticked, no more food. Eg

1. Fruit

2.Fruit 3.Fruit 4.Vegetable 5.Vegetable 6.Bread or plain pasta portion 7.Meat or beans or nuts portion 8.Fruitjuice or hot drink 9.Dairy portion eg lump of cheese or a yoghurt 10.Wildcard item (but nothing too bad!)

This will also help food combining, making you really think about not eating too much etc etc. And it really is a no brainer; no weighnig or cal counting or packet reading, and it keeps you off processed foods etc.

And if you're really organised, you can print your list out wallet size and laminate it, then carry it round all day with a wipe-off pen, reuse next day.

Oh you don't want to hear my prescription for weight loss. It's weird and not according to the low-fat low-cal mantra. But I'll tell you if you really want...?

at mustrunmore. So no anal tendencies then?!

I know just how you feel Hecate. I haven't got much to lose; as of this morning I'm 9.10 and I want to get to 9 stone. But I've been struggling with the same 'want' for the last 4 years!

The closest I got was down to 9.3 about 2 years ago, and then somehow I decided (why?) that this was obviously good enough and that I could eat whatever I liked. With the inevitable consequences.

If only someone else would sort out my meals and stop me drinking gallons the odd glass of wine then it would be so much easier.

What kind of eating plan do you want to follow?

I would also ask you what your triggers are for 'bad' behaviour - as well as asking you what you define as 'bad'.

And then work out what works/you like/can do more easily.

(I read your posts on the thread about fat children so I know that you have some more complicated ishoos ...)

Yup. Tell me.

She's going to tell you to low carb ...

Yes. I have MASSIVE (pardon the pun) ishoos. I have now lost 7 stone (since the half is back on again!) - well, I must have lost 20 by now - off again and on again. I sadly have MUCH left to lose. far more than your entire weight!

I like your ticklist, mus. Something quite regimented works well for me...well, in the short term until I feck it up!

Give up the low-fat fat-free stuff.

Make sure each meal contains some protein and a little fat so that you feel full. A bowlful of fat-free yog with or without banana won't keep you full.

Cut out all processed carbs (I mean biscuits, crisps etc and white bread) and crappy diet food. If you are going to eat bread make sure it's good wholemeal stuff.

Lots and lots of veg and salad. Not so much fruit which is full of sugar.

Don't be afraid of fat - real butter is better for you than low-fat glop.

Don't eat, even at mealtimes, if you aren't hungry. Listen to hunger. If you are eating enough protein in your meals you won't get hungry so often.

And do some strenuous aerobic exercise 3 times a week.

And drink lots of water.

And the 7 stones off is brilliant.

Daily weight does fluctuate quite wildly (but sure that you know that...)

Tell us what your torture diet of preference is?

Aha no biwi! I've moved on a little Not much, but a little.

What kind of eating plan do you want to follow?...
ideally something I don't have to think about! Surprisingly, I don't like spending time thinking about food. I HATE it. I like to grab and go. I know that what I like is irrelevant, what I need is important, but it is the reason I keep failing - not planning, thinking...grab and go is shit for losing weight! Short bursts of spending my whole day planning and preparing is fine, but I find it hard to sustain. Eat breakfast and start thinking about lunch, prepare lunch and start thinking about dinner...instead, I feel sick at breakfast, skip lunch, get hungry and attack the fridge. I know how bad that is, but I fall into the same pattern time after time after time.

I would also ask you what your triggers are for 'bad' behaviour - as well as asking you what you define as 'bad'. - triggers are all emotional! Feel sad - binge, feel angry - binge, feel resentful - binge. If I had a happy life I'd be as thin as a rake!

Bad is eating lots of food until I feel sick, or eating something not low cal.

Orm!

And Hecate - don't be unkind to yourself either. It's very easy to focus on the 'failure' - "I've put half a stone on" rather than on the achievement - "I've lost a huge amount" - and then before you know it you're comfort eating again.

my diet of pref? I have done EVERYTHING!
slimfast, weightwatchers, slimming world, eating the same thing for the same meal every day, only eating stuffing , milk diet (that's 4 pints of milk a day and sugar free jelly and soup made from stock cubes!) and so many more.

I lose several stone, then it all turns to shit and I put on everything I lost and 2 more stone!

You don't need to plan.

Breakfast - two boiled eggs with wholemeal toast or a bit bowl of yoghurt with oats and fruit.

Lunch - homemade soup (made in batches and frozen) with bread if you must, or a chuck of cheese. Or salad (make it a lovely one with olives and feta).

Dinner - anything you like. Pasta with tomato and tuna sauce for example and salad. Or trout with steamed veg and new potatoes.

Nothing has to be complicated. You just need a freezer and a fridge. If you eat like that you won't be hungry - beleive me. And when you learn to distinguish between' I'm hungry' and 'I fancy something to eat' - they do feel very different - you will be OK.

hecate - do you drink alcohol or fizzy drinks?

if so, stop.

i have given up alcohol for a month and lost 6 lbs without even trying

you need a more filling breakfast that banana and yoghurt

porridge and fruit
egg on wholewheat toast
rice cakes and peanut butter

you need to graze maybe??? I can' always eat 3 big meals so will have a breakfast, snack, light lunch, snack and dinner

plenty of water

also, protein is filling so make sure you fill up on that

Start with porridge every morning (can be with honey or raisens or cinnamon and grated apple)

Snack on fruit/ low fat yogurt/ malt loaf/ ww cakes (choose 3 snacks per day)

Lunch - Ryvita and tuna with low fat mayonaise or extra light phillidelphia with a bit of salad (salad you buy and prepare in bulk at the start and middle of the week)

Dinner - Jacket potato or pasta or chicken with veg, fish, salad etc

Exercise as much and as often as you can, aim to do 20 mins everyday if you can (if not everyday at least 3 times per week) needs to be something that gets your heart going ideally but anything is better than nothing. Make sure you move around more than usual, every step helps.

no. No alcohol (any more!) diet fizzy drinks - but rarely, normally it's coffee or squash.

Also no biscuits or crisps or sweets or choc - and I'm gluten free, so no processed stuff now either! No snacky stuff in house cos I can't trust myself

How much exercise can you do?

at only eating stuffing ...

Actually I thinking planning is really important, because it means that you will always have a fridge/cupboard full of stuff that you can eat on a 'need to' basis, as opposed to having the stuff that you shouldn't just grab and go.

"I lose several stone, then it all turns to shit and I put on everything I lost and 2 more stone!"

I'm very aware that all this can get very patronising, very quickly - and I don't want to do that, really - but your sentence here is the key point; the mindset of 'dieting' is one that is never sustainable longer term.

I will recommend low carbing, actually, because it's the only way I can eat and lose weight without feeling (too) deprived, that ensures I stop obsessing about food, calories, what I can have, what I can't have, etc.

Will happily tell you more about it if this would help?

Bugger all exercise - can barely stand up

stuffing - I know! I don't know what I was thinking (You've never smelled wind like it!!!)

Yes, BIWI - tell me more. - remember though I am gluten free. - Although I would imagine that's not a problem for low-carb??

PMSL at wind!!!

Best thing to do with low carb:

1. Ignore anything you've read in the media about Atkins. It's invariably not true and journalists haven't read the book.

1. Read about it. Read Dr Atkins New Diet Revolution, or Charles Clarke's High Protein Diet, or India Knight/Nerys Thomas The Idiot Proof Diet - these will explain the theory behind low carbing, and the last one also deals with the psychological aspects of eating/dieting

Also, look at this site

low carb forum

(I'm Alison P there, by the way)

Gives lots of help/tips, etc

Sorry to finish this here but I have to go to an osteopath appointment now - will come back later and tell you more.

Thank you.

Hecate - I've just discovered that I may have a problem with gluten. And coming off wheat etc makes me feel 100% better. Not had it confirmed yet. Low-carb would be perfect for that.

Bit of a hijack - sorry - do you make/buy any gluten free bread? So far that is all I'm missing.

Gosh, you've got a lot of differing opinions here.
I would suggest you try low GI. Its a brilliant diet where you don't feel hungry and its how we all actually should eat.

Here are some ideas
low gi