Help!!!!

[Mercedes80]

Help! I need help, 47 yo, perimenopausal, on hrt, 5ft 6", 15 stone, stressed, bit depressed, drink two bottles of wine a week, emotional eater, time poor, desperately want to lose weight, but completely lost as what to do now, anything I try doesn't show on the scales, or not quick enough. WLI are an option, but they frighten me a bit, not sure why. Please can someone help me, I feel so lost about what to do, there is so much conflicting advice.

Ah well, I’m someone who has/is using WLI and has successfully lost a lot of weight, currently 10st 12lbs down from 22 stone. Being obese was a lot more frightening and distressing than taking a prescription medication to lose the weight. I’m about the same age as you, not perimenopausal or on HRT though. But otherwise I was similar in terms of being busy and stressed.

It isn’t always quick on WLI but (if they work for you) it means you can be long term consistent with a calorie deficit and that brings long term weight loss. I would consider the thought though that you might want to be on them for a decent length of time and think carefully about how to maintain your weight once you’re at target. It’s not easy to just stop and not go back to old habits. Same is true of any diet plan though.

What is the conflicting advice that you find difficult?

Try cutting down to one bottle per week OP.
@SilenceInside , how long to you plan to remain on the injections?

Hi,

I think you need to address the stress, probably sleep and the two bottles of wine a week first. Those two bottles are roughly a days calories.

I know you are time poor but can’t you fit some exercise in to help with the stress and try to find alternatives to the wine to deal with it? I know that’s easier said than done. But even a bit of Yoga, meditation, a walk along with sorting out any sleep issues will help. I’m not saying don’t do the injections but I would start with stopping the wine and getting the stress under control

Batch cooking and meal planning can also help if you have more time at weekends.

WLI 100% - nothing further to add at this stage

@TalkToTheHand123 as long as I feel I need to be, however long that is. I don’t have a specific number of months or years really. I always knew it would take about 2 years just to lose the weight, and I had also considered the question of maintenance. It’s important that I maintain the weight loss, however I do that, for several years. I think 5 years is often quoted as a successful maintenance of weight loss. I am planning on reducing my dose gradually and see how I get on.

Yeah I gained a lot of weight on HRT and came off it.

WLI would probably work well for you. Most people on Mounjaro go off alcohol too.

I lost over 40% of my body weight in ten months going from 13:8 to 8:0. I now have a healthy BMI and my cholesterol levels are normal.

I will stay on my maintenance dose for the foreseeable.

Can you say what worries you about it?

@SilenceInside well done on your loss, that's fantastic. I think the side effects frighten me, I have a phobia of vomit, even if I didn't feel nausea, I would probably overthink it, and make myself feel it! Also, i am a bit of a control freak, and I don't know would I feel out of control on the injections. Yes, I know I should cut the wine, but my oh works away, and it has become my down time when the children have gone to bed. I have tried fasting, but I get so hungry, then I read it leads to overeating later in the day, which it did, for me!
@Zempy interesting you out weight on with hrt, I hadn't thought that might be contributing to my increase. Well done on your weight loss too!
@CarelessWimper I have a thought about yoga and mindfulness, but I don't know where to start!

I was in a similar position to you. Similar height and a stone lighter. WLIs changed my life. Been on them a year and lost 4 stone. Went from size 16 to size 10. Easiest thing I’ve ever done and it’s massively improved my life - I’m so much more mentally and physically comfortable in my body, have so much more confidence, so much more energy, don’t feel the need to drink wine every night, love the gym (when I used to have to force myself to go), no more high cholesterol, so much fitter as I’ve had a lot more motivation to be active. I’d go for WLIs!

@SilenceInside @Fancycrab what type were you on, and did you have any side effects?

I am on Mounjaro, it was cheaper than Wegovy back in 2024 so it was an obvious choice - cheaper and more effective. Now it’s more expensive but I am fortunate that I can still afford it, and planned for possible cost variation.

I like to be in control, and I felt that choosing to take the injections was me taking control of my weight, if you see what I mean.

Most people don’t get side effects and if they do they are mild and manageable. But they are usually gastric in nature. I didn’t have any issues for about 5 weeks, and then had some D&V for a couple days on my 6th week, and then again to a lesser extent when I moved up dose again. That was all in the first 10 weeks or so and then since then basically nothing at all in the way of gastric side effects.

Also, i am a bit of a control freak, and I don't know would I feel out of control on the injections

Just picking up on this bit: I am also a bit of a control freak and WLIs (mounjaro) made me feel MORE in control, not less. Barely wanting to drink and stopping after1-2 glasses of wine if I did, not having to fight with my appetite to eat in a calorie deficit. Just calm, steady and in control.

I started in March last year and am at goal now, slowly titrating down, 6 stone lost. Menopausal, mid 50s, not on HRT.

The only time I was physically sick on it was when I foolishly pushed through the desire not to drink much, one summer night. Other than that I never even had nausea. Bit of sulphur burps and diarrhoea in the early days.

WLI gave me back my control. Also, gastro effects are more likely to be stomach pains/diarrhoea than vomiting/sickness.

I have taken Mounjaro every week for fifteen months and not been sick once.

I have had diahorrea once and constipation a few times. No sulphur burps either.

Why not give it a go and see if it works for you?

I would echo what @GiveMeWordGames has described, I feel in control of my eating and weight loss in a way that I never really have before. And calm and positive, which is a great relief.

Insulin resistance is common and increases with age so if you don't want to go on WLI, try a higher protein, lower carb diet.
A bottle of wine is approx 700 cals so 2 bottles is a day of calories. Wine is all carbs/sugar and will raise your blood sugars making you crave more carbs and sugar and the cycle continues. Can you switch to fruit tea or a different type of drink that isn't alcohol or even try low alcohol or 0% wine?
I was prediabetic in my early 40s, high BP and high cholesterol like outside the top of the normal range, mounjaro changed my life by reducing my blood sugars, I was bmi 32.8 and now bmi 22 and all health issues have been resolved.
I've also discovered a lot about dieting and healthier eating and know I lose weight better when I cut my carbs, I still have some as your brain uses it as energy, but I have more energy, feel less bloated and less inflamed on less carbs. Even cutting out pasta and having less bread, potato and rice will make a difference. When you have carbs your body uses it first for energy and then switches to fat burning, when you have less carbs it switches to fat burning earlier. I try to eat protein like chicken, fish, eggs etc at each meal and have a protein shake on workday mornings, I also buy protein yoghurts, cottage cheese or desserts to snack on.
Also drinking more water avoids water retention and is involved in the fat burning process. To lose fat, your body needs to be in a deficit so you can tracking your food by using myfitnesspal app and www.tdeecalculator.net for your deficit.

I have read that the Injections help with wine cravings too, has anyone found this to be true?

Yes. Plus why waste calories on alcohol. Your mindset will change on WLI. What's the point of spending couple of hundred quid a month then undoing it all by drinking alcohol.

OP you sound like me 2 years ago. I would HIGHLY recommend WLI.

I initially tried Ozempic, then Wegovy. Had far more success with Mounjaro and it's the only one that hasnt' made me feel sick. It works differently to the other two so that is true for a lot of people, I would start with MJ. You start slowly so you won't likely feel v sick on starter dose (low doses are cheaper too).

I don't have an issue with drinking (eating is my vice of choice :-) but it definitely has helped with other impulsive behaviour. It's as though someone gave me a magic pill for self discipline.

Lost 26/7 kg over 3 years. Partly gym but 2/3 of the loss has realistically been down to WLI. and the injections make it easier to stick to the other good habits, so now those are in place hopefully will help me maintain longer term.

I know it's not cheap but it's absolutely been worth it for me. I would cut a lot of things out before this (Yes I realise the cost is still not an option for loads of people, including myself for most of my life to date)

As I said above, very definitely for me but going by what others say on here this does seem to be quite an individual thing. It's certainly the case for an awful lot of people, but not all.

I'm the same, trying to lose weight and it's slow to show it on the scale. You could try eating everything on rice cakes. Avocado and egg, hummus, peanut butter, tuna, salmon or whatever else you fancy. It gets the nutrition into you but because of the size of rice cakes, it makes you keep your portions small!

Losing weight doesn’t happen quickly, and there’s no way to lose weight and then continue with habits that cause you to gain. You have to rethink your relationship with food, booze and exercise, and make permanent changes. It can be done - I did it. But expecting a few days of crash dieting and a bit of walking won’t do it.

With the yoga try Yoga With Adrienne on YouTube she is really good. For meditation I don’t have a favourite and just google one like guided meditation for sleep or morning meditation.

Even if the WLI do take away the cravings, unless you plan on staying on them forever, you will still need to get the stress and food and wine cravings under control and whilst it will be easy to do it without the cravings, you don’t want to loose the weight and then stick it all back on. So a life style change is needed.

I found playing squash or spinning were the best thing to get any anger or high levels of stress out and then yoga for when I was in a place when relaxing was possible.

I found I gained weight anyway with perimenopause before HRT and HRT made no difference either way.

Things I did? I quit alcohol, completely in the end. It just didn't feel worth it. My sleep has been vastly better as a result but honestly I didn't lose much weight.

What worked for me was introducing a one 24 hour fast per week. Sounds crazier than it is. What this means is once a week you stop eating after dinner on, say, Monday at 6:30pm. Then you drink water, herbal but not fruit tea, black tea or coffee (no sweeteners, no milk, no sugar) until 6:30pm on Tuesday then you have dinner.

Research is a little mixed because they tend to lump all fasting methods together but there's some evidence it helps with insulin resistance and I've had more success with it than restricting calories by a similar amount. It's also free unlike WLI.

I also overhauled my diet anyway to remove added sugars, sweeteners and refined carbs (so I still eat wholemeal pasta, wholemeal rice etc) and prioritise fibre and protein (which you'd need to do anyway if you go on WLI). I did all that before introducing the fast and it didn't make any difference. So I think it's the fast that's made the change.

Good luck whatever you decide. I did try a few other things first including 5/2 (didn't work for me), intuitive eating and hypnosis (Paul McKenna, worked in my 30s, stopped working in my 40s) and calorie counting (worked in my 20s, stopped working in my 30s and beyond). Sometimes you need to find a combination of what works for you now and what you can keep up for the rest of your life if necessary, which if it's WLI might also mean that.

@Lemonthyme thank you, that's really helpful, I could do a fast like that, only one day a week though! Yes, I think the wine has to go, it's probably more habit than anything.

I think if considering WLI, it's worth a try. That was going to be my next step if it didn't work for me.