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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Has anyone had counselling for over eating / binge eating and have any advice?

54 replies

Mull · 18/04/2026 09:21

Hi, I really think I need some counselling around my eating as the ‘feast / famine’ mentality I have had my entire adult life is getting ridiculous. I had cancer treatment 18mths ago, and was diagnosed as Type 2 diabetes at the same time, and yet STILL I cannot sort my eating. I lost a lot of weight as part of my treatment but then continued to implement healthier choices etc. I was feeling in a good place and thought I’d ‘cracked it’. However these have slowly gone backwards as ‘normal’ life has resumed and I feel so shit about it. I need to delve deeper into why I’m doing this to myself, why my health is not more important to me, what more needs to happen to me before I sort myself out, the guilt / shame around it all.

Has anyone had any counselling / therapy around this subject and could recommend how to find a counsellor / what questions to ask? I’m willing to put some money into this as I was also considering WLI which are expensive but I really don’t think they will help with my longer term understanding / health and maintaining a healthy weight.

OP posts:
Mull · 18/04/2026 16:33

Bump?

OP posts:
ValBiro · 18/04/2026 16:36

To find a counsellor: BACP website.

Good luck OP, don't be too hard on yourself following invasive Cancer treatment though. X

Sameoldsameold78 · 18/04/2026 16:37

Wright loss injections have helped me a lot, counselling never did. I resisted WLI for a long time but apart from the expense no regrets, I’ve lost 16lb in 6 weeks and food noise has gone.

Mull · 18/04/2026 17:50

@Sameoldsameold78 Im sure WLI are brilliant for weight loss but I’m terrified of what comes after. I have NEVER maintained my weight as an adult and the yo-yoing is getting worse. The ‘being good’ or ‘being bad’ isn’t just about food either, I’ve been rubbish recently at taking medication, doing my teeth regime (need to do extra following radiation), not painting my nails etc etc. All self care things that I absolutely should be doing regardless of what I’m eating / not eating, but it’s all so tied up in ‘good v bad’. I’m a mess mentally about it all and think I need to talk to someone.

OP posts:
Sameoldsameold78 · 18/04/2026 18:35

i totally get it, feel free to message me

PuzzledObserver · 19/04/2026 02:59

I am a life-long binge eater, was morbidly obese most of my adult life, with massive yo-yo’s of weight. I did try a CBT-based approach to binge eating, initially a self-help version, then I saw a psychologist for a while. The usual story…. It seemed to help for a while, but then I reverted to type.

Over the last couple of years, I feel that I have turned the corner which has made recovery possible for me.

It started when I joined an online community for fasting as a method of treating obesity and type 2 diabetes. As well as advice on the practicalities of fasting, they included a clinical psychologist on the team. That input brought about several mindset shifts which have been crucial for me - for example, the belief I’ve always had that it wasn’t a celebration unless there was cake, that I deserved it, that everyone else was having some so I would too etc - that these were simply beliefs, not the truth. And they were beliefs which were not serving me well, so I was at liberty to change them.

That community also led to me concluding that I am addicted to sugar and certain other highly processed snack foods. As an addict, I cannot cut down or moderate - I have to abstain. I didn’t like it and I didn’t want to do it. But I proved to myself by repeated experience that once I start, I can’t stop….. or if I do manage to stop, then it is only by fighting the cravings tooth and nail, every minute. But if I can stay stopped for a few days, the cravings go away.

However, that still leaves the mental obsessions - the other part of addiction in the 12-step model. Despite being intellectually convinced that abstinence from certain foods was necessary for me, I could not stay stopped. I kept going back. So eventually I joined Overeaters Anonymous.

I have been free of binges, and of my binge trigger foods, for 8 months now. I was in the early stages of a weight regain phase when I joined….. I have shifted 2/3 of the regain, with more still to go. I’m just at the top of the overweight bracket, so not skinny. But I AM eating just my sensible moderate meals, with no snacking or grazing, no binges and no binge foods. I am NOT yo-yoing. I am wearing the same size jeans as I was this time last year (with no up and down, or down and up in between)

I have, over the years, gained a lot of understanding about how my issues with food developed. But that self-knowledge wasn’t enough to bring about lasting change. The 12 Steps are doing so.

Lemonthyme · 19/04/2026 06:47

There are quite a few academic papers out there linking weight gain and trauma. And it completely makes sense to me (as someone with PTSD) that comfort eating is genuinely a thing. We call it comfort eating because it's comforting. It changes our mood. So 100% mood and weight are linked.

There have also been some links with WLI and worsening mental health. I'm not sure if they are statistically significant nor if the WLI causes the issue but logically taking away something comforting without reducing the need for the comfort will make things worse IMO.

The thing you might find though is that the work on weight loss will still need to be done alongside the work on your mental wellbeing so if you're happy with that then it might be the right approach.

I also second the BACP website. You can search for therapists in person, remotely but also by area they specialise in. Their website is a bit crap though since their last update so I'll share a link:

| BACP

Type in your problem and location and search. While your problems might not feel like an "eating disorder" (and probably isn't one), I would use that in my keywords and look for that experience in the therapist. Not all eating disorders are about eating too little and I'd want someone who has experience with people who perhaps have binge eating disorder and anxiety or depression as comorbidities as then even if that's more extreme than my situation, they have experience of working with both the mental and physical manifestations around diet and eating.

I'd arrange a trial session and then be prepared to say "no this doesn't work". The relationship with the therapist is really important so even if they just irritate you but are saying good things, I'd find someone else you just "click" with but also (for me at least) doesn't just validate everything I say. Get them to be up front with what kind of progress they've had with others and over what kind of time period so you can work out whether for you that's what you want.

Good luck. I completely agree with your approach. Too many people think the weight is the problem and don't address why the weight happened and I think we're seeing this with WLIs in some cases (albeit they still have their place).

| BACP

https://www.bacp.co.uk/search/Therapists

Lemonthyme · 19/04/2026 06:50

I'm not sure if it's helpful but I think that "it helped while I was seeing the therapist and then stopped" isn't unusual and I know OA has worked for you which is brilliant. And I completely agree that CBT is not always an effective approach for all conditions and is probably overused.

But if this is of interest, I dip in and out of these as a "refresher" more for my mood than weight (directly) as I've had a lot of therapy over the years and can sometimes see myself sliding back so albeit with my reticence on CBT being a "forever fix" for all problems, I do sometimes use it as a "top up" or course correct if I can feel a mental health slide and some of these worksheets (all free) are really useful.

Free CBT Worksheets | Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Exercises | the Think CBT Workbook

Free CBT Worksheets | Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Exercises | the Think CBT Workbook

Download free copies of the Think CBT Workbook and individual CBT worksheets. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Experts, ready to take your call.

https://thinkcbt.com/think-cbt-worksheets

PuzzledObserver · 19/04/2026 08:19

@Lemonthyme

2 things.

  1. Your comment to the OP that they may need to work on the weight loss alongside work on their mental health - I want to bring out here that the guidance on treating BED specifically says that deliberate attempts at weight loss should be avoided, at least for a time, while working on the binge eating. Dieting behaviour can be a trigger for binges, for both physiological and psychological reasons. So the emphasis, at least in the early stages, needs to be on regular eating and improving the quality of the diet, rather than seeking weight loss per se. There may be a time for that later, but only when the binge eating is well and truly out of the picture.

Fasting has been a significant factor in my weight loss. But I have always needed to be vigilant….. if binge urges arose, then I pull back from fasting and focus instead on eating nourishing meals (but no snacks) as my safe place.

  1. Your suggestion to keep CBT as a tool to be used as and when - yes, I do do this. I’ve had formal CBT twice (once for binge eating, once for depression) as well as accessing self-help versions at various points. So I have resources - but also, I think, I have internalised some aspects of it, such as asking myself “is that thought really true? What’s the evidence for it? What other ways of interpreting the situation might there be?” And then choosing the interpretation which supports my wellbeing, rather than going with the one I first thought of, which makes me feel like crap.
PuzzledObserver · 19/04/2026 08:24

Also, OP, have you come across the Binge Eating Therapist on YouTube? I highly recommend - a former binge eater herself. Very compassionate, informed, lots of useful tips. May help to work on some of your thinking while you continue to look for a counsellor who would work directly with you.

You mentioned shame….. shame is understandable, but unfounded. And it doesn’t help - it does quite the opposite.

Lemonthyme · 19/04/2026 08:36

PuzzledObserver · 19/04/2026 08:19

@Lemonthyme

2 things.

  1. Your comment to the OP that they may need to work on the weight loss alongside work on their mental health - I want to bring out here that the guidance on treating BED specifically says that deliberate attempts at weight loss should be avoided, at least for a time, while working on the binge eating. Dieting behaviour can be a trigger for binges, for both physiological and psychological reasons. So the emphasis, at least in the early stages, needs to be on regular eating and improving the quality of the diet, rather than seeking weight loss per se. There may be a time for that later, but only when the binge eating is well and truly out of the picture.

Fasting has been a significant factor in my weight loss. But I have always needed to be vigilant….. if binge urges arose, then I pull back from fasting and focus instead on eating nourishing meals (but no snacks) as my safe place.

  1. Your suggestion to keep CBT as a tool to be used as and when - yes, I do do this. I’ve had formal CBT twice (once for binge eating, once for depression) as well as accessing self-help versions at various points. So I have resources - but also, I think, I have internalised some aspects of it, such as asking myself “is that thought really true? What’s the evidence for it? What other ways of interpreting the situation might there be?” And then choosing the interpretation which supports my wellbeing, rather than going with the one I first thought of, which makes me feel like crap.

Apologies, I have no experience on BED nor was sure if that was what the OP has. I wasn't meaning to advise from a medical perspective more to say that therapy in itself isn't necessarily going to cause weight loss but might give you the resources and ability to work on weight issues differently. Sorry if I worded that badly.

Passingthrough123 · 19/04/2026 08:37

I have the same ED and fasting is absolutely not recommended for someone in the throes of it, as OP clearly is. Prolonged periods of not eating are more likely to trigger a binge for her right now. Likewise WLI won’t be prescribed unless you lie about having an ED - which you really shouldn’t.

OP, you need to find a therapist who specialises in BED and stop all attempts at dieting in the meantime. Mental health mindset sorted first, body second. Try BACP as PP have said to find someone near you.

Mull · 19/04/2026 08:49

@Passingthrough123 @Lemonthyme @PuzzledObserver thank you so much for taking the time to write such thoughtful and helpful replies, it has been reassuring to read this morning. My initial thoughts:

  • Sugar - I firmly believe I am addicted to sugar and I cannot eat this in moderation. It leads me to binging and also some secretive behaviour which is absolutely the behaviour of an addict. I would struggle to seriously overeat if I was only having savoury food, and I certainly wouldn’t be snacking (eg crisps etc hold no real interest for me)
  • I have used intermittent fasting in the past and think it works very well but is now in the ‘good’ camp in my head so I wouldn’t do it while I was eating badly, the same as a lot of other self care things…
  • I will look at YouTube as a starting point but will investigate the BACP website to look for a local therapist as I know I need significant, individual help. The advice to look for BED specialists is a good one, as much as I might not want to admit to it, that is exactly what I have 😞

Thanks again for the responses, it really has been very helpful. I was feeling so hopeless yesterday (and, yes, ashamed) so a bit more positive this morning.

OP posts:
Passingthrough123 · 19/04/2026 09:01

Mull · 19/04/2026 08:49

@Passingthrough123 @Lemonthyme @PuzzledObserver thank you so much for taking the time to write such thoughtful and helpful replies, it has been reassuring to read this morning. My initial thoughts:

  • Sugar - I firmly believe I am addicted to sugar and I cannot eat this in moderation. It leads me to binging and also some secretive behaviour which is absolutely the behaviour of an addict. I would struggle to seriously overeat if I was only having savoury food, and I certainly wouldn’t be snacking (eg crisps etc hold no real interest for me)
  • I have used intermittent fasting in the past and think it works very well but is now in the ‘good’ camp in my head so I wouldn’t do it while I was eating badly, the same as a lot of other self care things…
  • I will look at YouTube as a starting point but will investigate the BACP website to look for a local therapist as I know I need significant, individual help. The advice to look for BED specialists is a good one, as much as I might not want to admit to it, that is exactly what I have 😞

Thanks again for the responses, it really has been very helpful. I was feeling so hopeless yesterday (and, yes, ashamed) so a bit more positive this morning.

Edited

Please don’t feel ashamed. You have an eating disorder that has done a number on you mentally and it will take time to unpack it. Heck, I’m still unpacking mine in recovery and it’s been a long time since I was diagnosed. Letting go of the diet mentality is the number one priority with BED and I think you can only do that with a therapist, because it pervades so much of our lives. It’s not like being an alcoholic and trying to give up booze - we have to eat food to live. So go easy on yourself and give yourself the time you need for recovery.

Mosaic80 · 19/04/2026 09:03

A friend did overeaters anonymous and found good results through that. Just in case that helps and it’s cheaper than a counsellor.

likelysuspect · 19/04/2026 09:04

Mull · 18/04/2026 17:50

@Sameoldsameold78 Im sure WLI are brilliant for weight loss but I’m terrified of what comes after. I have NEVER maintained my weight as an adult and the yo-yoing is getting worse. The ‘being good’ or ‘being bad’ isn’t just about food either, I’ve been rubbish recently at taking medication, doing my teeth regime (need to do extra following radiation), not painting my nails etc etc. All self care things that I absolutely should be doing regardless of what I’m eating / not eating, but it’s all so tied up in ‘good v bad’. I’m a mess mentally about it all and think I need to talk to someone.

Well you would stay on them at a low dose

You'll be there forever with conselling/therapy rather than getting to the root of the problem which is simply mechanical (as my GP said to me and he was right), you eat too much, you need a physical thing to stop you eating too much.

IDontHateRainbows · 19/04/2026 09:06

Lifelong binge eater, tried everything including counseling. Nothing ever worked until I tried mounjaro. Then it disappeared overnight! Makes me think it truly is a physical/ hormonal issue for many people. Yes, i overate in response to emotional cues but the urge just isn't there anymore.

I will stay on WLIs for the rest of my life.

RipleyGreen · 19/04/2026 09:16

I am someone who’s had decades of therapy (and indeed am a qualified counsellor) and a binge eater and I cannot better the advice @PuzzledObserver has given. It’s a tough hand to have been dealt. I’m from a long line of addicts and was smug for the longest time for avoiding alcohol and drugs, but it’ll out eventually. Good luck to you,

Mull · 19/04/2026 09:57

RipleyGreen · 19/04/2026 09:16

I am someone who’s had decades of therapy (and indeed am a qualified counsellor) and a binge eater and I cannot better the advice @PuzzledObserver has given. It’s a tough hand to have been dealt. I’m from a long line of addicts and was smug for the longest time for avoiding alcohol and drugs, but it’ll out eventually. Good luck to you,

Yep, my Mum is an alcoholic (in recovery) and I can draw many comparisons in our behaviour. For many years I thought “at least it’s not alcohol”…

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 19/04/2026 10:24

RipleyGreen · 19/04/2026 09:16

I am someone who’s had decades of therapy (and indeed am a qualified counsellor) and a binge eater and I cannot better the advice @PuzzledObserver has given. It’s a tough hand to have been dealt. I’m from a long line of addicts and was smug for the longest time for avoiding alcohol and drugs, but it’ll out eventually. Good luck to you,

Interestingly, after starting WLI I developed an obsess with smells and perfumery which was a complete cross addiction from food but a very welcome one as perfume has no calories. It's very common for those starting WLI to find this. Instead of food cravings I get perfume cravings now. I do spend a bit of money on it but not loads and it's not out of control. Quite happy to have a benign replacement addiction actually.

IDontHateRainbows · 19/04/2026 10:25

Didn't mean to quote you @RipleyGreen . Although interesting you mentioned addiction.

Goinggonegone · 19/04/2026 10:29

I have had years of therapy but the thing that's helping me most with binge eating is chatgpt. I am making more progress and exciting changes than in 35 years.

Passingthrough123 · 19/04/2026 11:07

likelysuspect · 19/04/2026 09:04

Well you would stay on them at a low dose

You'll be there forever with conselling/therapy rather than getting to the root of the problem which is simply mechanical (as my GP said to me and he was right), you eat too much, you need a physical thing to stop you eating too much.

Please stop peddling WLI as a solution to OP. There's a reason prescribers won't supply to anyone with an ED.

PuzzledObserver · 19/04/2026 12:43

Another thought…. there are various ways of understanding what is going on with binge eating….. and I have come across a definite conflict between the two main ones, which are the ED perspective and the addiction model.

My simplistic grasp of ED’s generally is that anorexia nervosa was recognised first, then bulimia, and BED later. And that the early work on AN has influenced the treatment of both bulimia and BED.

In bulimia, bingeing is seen as a response to extreme dieting - a perfectly natural, physiological response to periods of food restriction. A caveman who had been through a period of food scarcity would initially eat a lot, rapidly, and regain some of the lost weight, but then as their weight normalised, the drive to eat would abate, and their intake would settle down. But the dieter is dismayed by the regain and resolves to redouble their efforts - another period of scarcity, as far as the body is concerned. The binge/restrict cycle starts with dieting - if they did not diet, they would not binge.

From this perspective, it is important to avoid dieting, including the avoidance of specific foods. Therapy encourages sufferers to reintroduce foods they may have banned, and to eat all things in moderation. And you can see why, for anorexics who often have extremely limited diets, leading to nutritional deficiencies as well as low weight, that’s a good and necessary thing.

The other perspective is the addiction model. Let’s take sugar as an example…. if you are addicted to sugar, then you really need to eliminate it from your diet completely. Not to do so is to set yourself up to fail. In the case of addiction to alcohol, or narcotics, this is generally accepted. If you can’t moderate you have to abstain. So if the substance you are addicted to is sugar, then “all foods in moderation” is a disaster.

It seems to me that a key question for binge eaters to ask themselves is which came first: the bingeing, or the food deprivation? Whether that was dieting, or perhaps food scarcity due to childhood poverty or neglect. If the dieting came first, with a side dish of societal pressure to be thin, then maybe the ED perspective is the right one for that individual. But if you were bingeing long before you ever dieted (as I was) then that suggests that there is addiction at play.

And of course, wherever you start, you can then acquire the other “problem” as well. You can end up with both addiction, and bingeing as a physiological response to food scarcity.

From both perspectives, giving up dieting is a crucial first step. But what comes next? If you’re not addicted to any foodstuff, then you should be able to eat 3 meals a day plus one or two snacks if desired, including any and every food - and the absence of food deprivation should make the urge to binge go away. Though if you are overweight (or think you are) and don’t lose much weight doing this, then many will struggle to stay the course, because overemphasis on shape and weight is a key feature of disordered eating.

But if you are an addict, then the regular inclusion of your trigger foods is going to maintain the urge to binge.

And just to make things more complicated, there is also the whole “food as comfort” piece, which most humans do as a matter of course - and is not problematic until taken to excess.

likelysuspect · 19/04/2026 12:56

We are animals, we are meant to eat when food is available, so we do, its available all the time, its socially, psychologically and physically acceptable to overeat and one might say necessary in terms of our evolution.

Humans are opportunists and unfortunately we have a massive opportunity with food (well in this country anyway)