I've lost too much weight

[Xanadu58]

I'll try not to make this too long but basically I've lost 4 stone over a period of about 10/11months losing on average about a pound a week. I was doing intermittent fasting which I decided to try when everything else had failed . I got into a routine and was happy with the results. I also started going to the gym 3 times a week to try and tone up /build muscle. Im nearly 58 so I appreciate there wasn't going to be miracles regarding the toning up ! I've gone down to a size 8 . My legs are slim, my stomach is flat but my arms look so wrinkled and my face looks awful . I think it was something my dad said this week that hit home and made me realise ive gone too far . Ive sold pretty much all my old clothes on vinted and was looking forward to buying a new wardrobe when the weather improves but now im thinking maybe I should try and gain some weight first. Im scared to go to the gym in case I lose more and I dont want to resort to my old eating habits so i just dont know what to do . If I gain say half a stone , will that make my face look better ? I really dont know what im asking here , i just feel that I need to do something but I'm not really sure what. I appreciate i haven't given loads of info but im happy to answer any questions if it'll help .

Are you underweight now? If you're not, I'd aim to maintain current weight and expect a bit of re-distribution of existing fat over time.

No , I'm not underweight , im smack bang in the middle of a healthy weight for my height . I was hoping that there'd be some redistribution of weight and im not too bothered about my arms but its my face , I dont think id realised how bad it was and now I can't stop looking in the mirror . If I thought my face structure/shape would improve , then I'd concentrate on maintaining.

Sounds similar to me. I lost 6 stone 2 years ago over 8 months aged 63 by calorie counting and exercise . Went from 14 stone to 8 stone. Ive regained a stone sadly all around my middle area and legs so back on a diet today. 5 feet 1" tall.

Are you sure that this isn't just age? It doesn't sound as if you are you have lost too much. It's natural to lose a bit of volume from your face as you get older. (Not saying here whether you should or shouldn't put on some weight- that is obviously up to you.)

What did your dad say? People often struggle to adjust when someone has lost a lot of weight.

Its so frustrating as id found something that worked for me and fitted my daily routine. I think i got fixated on the numbers on the scale without looking at what my body was doing.

I have just turned 60 and have lost 3 stone lately , went from a 14 to an 8, at my age I don not think there is much I can do about wrinkly upper arms, my face has now re adjusted it self ( if that's the word) or have I just got used to how I look.

I think tbf , age is not really on my side but I don't think I expected it to look so bad. I mentioned in front of my dad that I didnt want to lose any more weight and he just went into a rant about how he wasn't going to say anything but that I didn't look anything like me and that basically I looked terrible and completely different.

But healthy. If you’d had blood tests before the weight loss , get another test now and see the difference. Stop fixating on the negatives and feel healthy inside.

I think I was hoping that my face would readjust or that id get used to it but now I can't stop looking at it , I feel worse .

I lost the weight to be healthier and I feel so much better and energetic . I just wish that Id focused more on my size rather than the weight on the scales .

Give it a little time. My husband’s massive weight loss at around age 58 left him with wrinkled and saggy skin, but after a year or so of maintaining his new slimline figure, the skin had shrunk back a surprising amount, especially around his face and neck. Looking at his face now, he doesn’t look any older than his biological age. Maybe your skin will ping back a bit too.

I do need to concentrate on the positives , I know that . I've never been this slim since I was a teenager and I was looking forward to buying new clothes but I feel a bit of a fool tbh .

Thank you for that , I really hope so

I think you need to go to the gym and focus on weights rather than cardio. Over time you can gain 2-3kg of muscle. You’ll also need to eat enough - protein and calories to allow for muscle growth.

How unhelpful. You may look different but I think it's really unlikely you look terrible.

You feel good, you are a healthy weight. You don't need to change anything. Sounds like your dad was just used to you looking a certain way.

This reminds me of when Nigel Lawson lost lots of weight (I am old) and the papers were full of nasty articles saying he looked too thin, haggard etc, but now when you look at photos the thin version looks great and the fat version looks like he's about to drop dead. People aren't great with change.

You dad sounds like a bit of a cunt tbh. Buy the new clothes get some make up (if that’s your thing) and enjoy your new self.

If you dont all ready, invest in a good serum and skincare. Especially for your neck - Trinny the elevator is amazing for your neck, you wont believe the difference
After a few weeks of serum, collagen boosters etc you will see a huge difference in your face. Don't forget your SPF too - this will help rejuvenate your skin
Get a good body moisturiser , something with a hint of tan helps aswell as gives your skin a glow
Well done on your weight loss, i think people so used to seeing you at your larger weight its hard to get used to seeing you now even though its normal and a good healthy weight

That was a really nasty thing for your dad to say. How mean of him. Is he usually this blunt and opinionated?

go buy your lovely clothes, get a makeover, get your hair done and enjoy feeling good after all that hard work.

oh god same here! Lost weight over 6 months but my face has aged terribly - drooping and saggy - also considering trying to regain a few pounds.

I use collagen and serums but not looking any better so wondering about fillers at the moment.

To a certain degree I think it’s inevitable post 50 that your face is affected by weight loss! I do look a bit gaunt in my face and my boobs have gone but I am so much healthier and stronger.

I lost my weight intermittent fasting too and I’m just hitting 18 BMI so I really could do with gaining a few pounds but it’s hard to do after a year of focusing on the opposite and to do it in a healthy way is not easy!

If your bmi is well within the healthy range, I think you have a dad issue rather than anything else! People can struggle with the change in others!

I feel that to maintain my weight and not lose anymore I need to eat a bit more but it feels so wrong after nearly a year of not doing it so I totally get what you mean . I'd quite happily have continued the fasting as I'd got to a point where it was easy and I was in a good routine with it but obviously if I do , I'll lose more weight and I really don't want to. I think I'm going to open my window earlier and maybe eat a little more and see how that goes.

Yes, I can completely relate, it’s tricky. I’ve reduced to fasting twice a week. On working days I have overnight oats for breakfast and if I’m not working it will just be melon and kiwi or skyr with fruit and protein powder.

I think I’ve found a balance now so I’m not losing anymore and I’m working hard at the gym with weights to improve my shape but my face is a goner😂

I’m so much happier and healthier though, I can cope with the more visible wrinkles! Great to lose the extra chins!

As you're in the middle of a healthy BMI, I don't think you should rush to gain weight. Try maintaining for six months or so, keep to a good skin routine, and reassess then.

It can be easy to assume wrinkles are the result of weight loss, but some will be inevitable with age.

I ask myself the question often - which looks worse on me, a double chin and hamster cheeks when I'm fat, or wrinkles when I'm thin - the answer is neither looks great but at least at the lower weight my clothed body looks OK!

You e not lost too much if you’re middle of bmi, i was thinking you were underweight,

just eat enough protein. Keep working out, maintain, your face and everything fills up and tightens up,

but you are 58, you do look different, so your dad will be reacting to that, he is likely quite elderly, just jeep dressing well, doing your hair etc, and it will be fine.

Reverse diet, increase cals by about 100 - 150 a week, till you hit maintence,

honeslty you’ve not lost too much weight. I’m a couple of years younger, bmi 20, I worked out throughout my journey, lost 6 and a half stone, I continued to work out, upped my protein, rebuilt any lost muscle and the skin crinkles have all gone, everything has tightened up and my jaw line has tightened, I don’t even have marionette lines. I understand part is genetics, but I put a lot of effort in, from skin care, protein, strength training, collagen, moisturise all over etc. and I dress well.