I've lost too much weight

[Xanadu58]

I'll try not to make this too long but basically I've lost 4 stone over a period of about 10/11months losing on average about a pound a week. I was doing intermittent fasting which I decided to try when everything else had failed . I got into a routine and was happy with the results. I also started going to the gym 3 times a week to try and tone up /build muscle. Im nearly 58 so I appreciate there wasn't going to be miracles regarding the toning up ! I've gone down to a size 8 . My legs are slim, my stomach is flat but my arms look so wrinkled and my face looks awful . I think it was something my dad said this week that hit home and made me realise ive gone too far . Ive sold pretty much all my old clothes on vinted and was looking forward to buying a new wardrobe when the weather improves but now im thinking maybe I should try and gain some weight first. Im scared to go to the gym in case I lose more and I dont want to resort to my old eating habits so i just dont know what to do . If I gain say half a stone , will that make my face look better ? I really dont know what im asking here , i just feel that I need to do something but I'm not really sure what. I appreciate i haven't given loads of info but im happy to answer any questions if it'll help .

Honestly, I don't think your face is the problem here.

Your dad sounds like an absolute cunt.

I would not make any decisions based on his shitty comments. I am sure you look lovely. You should definitely buy yourself some new clothes and enjoy it!

I'm in exactly the same position, after a 4 stone loss I really didn't feel like myself after two decades of being overweight. I loved how fit and energetic I felt, but the weight loss really showed on my face. For the last 2 years ive maintained my weight, focused on high protein, good hydration, lifting weights, take a daily collagen supplement and use red light therapy on my face and neck. It has dramatically improved my face and neck and people have started to tell me that im looking 'well'. I never want to go back to being overweight!

Congratulations on your weight loss and going to the gym that's amazing. I've found that some bovine powdered collagen in my coffee has helped my joints and skin, and added protein to my diet. If you want to put on some weight healthily may be eat some nuts for fibre, protein and good fats or have some dessert of full fat Greek yoghurt, nuts and berries or an avocado added to your dinner all healthy higher calorie additions to your diet.

I think it’s unkind and unsupportive of your Dad to react to something that long term is going to give you better health and better health outcomes.
My DM is in hospital at the moment after a cancer diagnosis (cancer we are told that’s just random bad luck and not life style based) and one of the reasons she is doing so well is that she is fit and healthy and active and in a healthy weight range for her height.
It can the mind a bit of time to catch up with the body when weight is loss. So ignore your insensitive day who probably just doesn’t like change. Maybe if you really want to have a make up session to learn how to make the best of your features and enjoy your healthy strong body and determination that got you there.

Don’t loose any more weight if you are now a healthy weight- just stick to your routine but eat a little more. Make sure the ‘more’ is good nutritionally - nuts, eggs, wholemeal toast etc, don’t just up the calories by throwing in junk. Definitely don’t stop going to the gym. Exercise has surprisingly little effect on weight loss, your body adjusts how it burns the available calories, but the benefits of exercise are huge, especially for middle aged women. I would expect your face to readjust over time- less than a year is really rapid weight loss. You have done amazingly well to loose so much weight and it is fantastic that you feel better / healthier- unkind of your Dad to undermine you. I suspect you are now seeing your face through a bit of a distortion caused by lack of confidence, your Dad has picked a vulnerable point to undermine you ( maybe not intentionally). Buy some nice clothes that flatter you - don’t go sleeveless if you feel your arms are a bit saggy and emphasise your lovely slim legs. Maybe consider a new hairstyle that works better with your different shaped face? A good stylist should help with this.

Now you've got yourself to the right weight maybe treat yourself to a facial and perhaps a bit of makeup - with a change of face shape plus getting older an update in how you do your makeup often makes a difference. Also a haircut/colour that suits your new look, and have fun getting those new clothes!

I can relate to your post to some degree. I've lost almost 3 stone and while I'm happy with my weight loss and my BMI is in the healthy scale (though the lower end) I feel frail and that I look older (even though I'm only 34). My plan now is to do more weights rather than cardio so I'll feel stronger. I think it's not that I'm unhappy about the weight loss but more so need to work on my body composition as the next phase.

Give it time to settle. I read it takes 2 years for your body to readjust after significant weightloss. Your body still thinks its in the “loss” phase and hasnt adjusted to the new normal.

The problem is that - as women - we naturally lose fat and volume from our faces as we age. Weight gain camaflouges it and then we feel we look older when we get slimmer.

Maintain for at least 1 year and re-assess the issue.

Also, dont take any cheek from people commenting on your body. You have done amazingly well and any comments on your looks or size cross a boundary and are seriously inappropriate.

I’d shift your focus into gaining muscle. Increase your calories focusing on protein, and keep going to the gym and lift heavy weights. As we age, we lose muscle. So we need to work hard to maintain and build it. It’s good for your bones and weight training lowers the risk of osteoporosis. And the more muscle you have will help as you get older. It will also help areas like your arms as the skin won’t look so wrinkled with more muscle.

Bit late to this, but now focus on building muscle. Lift heavier, continue to eat well but in maintenance calories so you maintain your weight and build muscle. Maybe get a couple of PT sessions to get you going and make a plan.

And well done on your weight loss!

I believe it was Sophia Loren who said at certain age you need to choose your face or your arse😆 On a serious note you don't get to choose where you loose fat from. I am also that person that looses top to bottom; I notice fluctuations in my weight in my face first. Unfortunately at your age your skin won't be as plump as elastic. Focus on eating plenty of protein, drink loads and at the gym lift heavy. Scales will show weight gain from muscle but it will make you look healthier and toned. And well done for achieving what you have; it's absolutely amazing!

Well done on getting fitter and healthier and losing weight! You body may realign itself overtime. You could perhaps use a good face cream and take collagen. I'd also suggest a firming massage (e.g. lymphatic draining) I don't know how effective they are but worth a try.

Wtf is wrong with people that don't know the difference between lose and loose? Two completely different things.
Yes it's petty, yes it grinds my gears

I think he just needs time to adjust to the new you . Of course you will look different, however being bang in the middle of your BMI is an amazing achievement. Well done . It’s a really hard achievement to accomplish. I am very envious. Trying hard and not losing much

No need to feel guilty about investing in healthcare. which is what it effectively is. It's just a shame for the people who need it but can't afford it, but that not your, or my fault x

I’m 58 and from my heaviest lost 6.5 stone. I lost the first 5 stone 9 years ago and it didn’t affect my face but only lost the last 1.5 stone last year to get to a BMI of 24 and my face has caved in now I’m that bit older. Complete loss of volume in my cheeks and around my mouth making my marionette lines so much worse. I don’t want to put weight on so I’ve had some very cautious filler done gradually over 4 sessions and it’s made a huge difference. I don’t look puffed up or egg faced - just how my face was a stone or so heavier.

In my experience (I've lost just over 5 stone), initially I looked gaunt in the face but my cheeks have definitely filled out now and I look fine. I also had quite a bit of saggy skin around my back which I hated, and it seems to have disappeared! Although to be honest even if those things hadn't have happened, I'd have been happier than when I was massively overweight.
It's a bit like buying a house, you have to compromise on some things.
I'll take the extra wrinkles over the risk of heart disease/diabetes etc any day....!

Filler is your friend here, try getting some to replace some of the fat lost in your face. As we age we loose fullness in certain places and loosing fat will have accentuated this and aged you. Arms will either be a surgery job or just embrace sleeves…. You could no doubt get a deal on arm surgery and a little face lift

The horrible Epstein/Andrew stuff and seeing that the beauty standards being so grossly related to looking like a 14yo has made me realise that my aging face is totally normal, and any desire to reverse that is part of the patriarchal indoctrination to women. My wrinkles and sags are an up yours to the system that abuses and restrains women and girls 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think we see these celebs being slim at this age or even losing weight and still looking okay in the face. Probably the simple truth is that they have fillers, mini face lifts or other less invasive treatments like micro-needling that stimulates your natural collagen. The thing is they are expensive and you need to keep repeating every year or so. I have a similar issue to you but I must say the skin has tightened up on my arms and the initial awful wrinkles almost gone - not just from weight training but over time. I think it can take even 6 months to a year to fully know where your skin will settle (on arms, legs and tummy for example). I also have a saggy face now but I also like my fitter, slimmer, stronger body. I guess if I had the spare funds I would be tempted to have some fillers or whatever needed to be done

Same age as you, OP, and also trying to get used to a new face after losing 3.5 stone. I did use WLI though! Huge congratulations on taking control and getting fit. I lost weight at the recommended 1-2lb a week, and have been maintaining for over a year in the upper half of the healthy BMI range.

I found the crepey arms and bum have really improved with strength classes at the gym, 3 tines a week. I eat protein at every meal and drink about 2-2.5 litres of water a day, but nothing crazy.

Face-wise, my jawline is much better as a result of the toning and weight loss. I have a wrinkled muzzle, under chin hammock, and saggy neck which I'm shocked by daily. But objectely it probably doesn't look worse than being obese and I feel a million times better - i hope you do too.

Your DFs comments are awful and hurtful, but I hope you don't allow them to take away your confidence and pride in what you have achieved