I don't understand my weight!!

[dontcomeatme]

I have put a lot of weight on in the last few years, around 4stone, had 2 DC back to back with gestational diabetes, forceps delivery 1st and then a c section for the 2nd.
I have breastfed both, I am still breastfeeding. I have 99centile kids, my 2YO is 35lb and my 13 week old is 20lb, so that's 55lb in the double buggy already, not including the frame, their bags, snacks, bottles etc. I don't drive so we bus and walk EVERYWHERE and I am ebf on demand. I haven't lost a single lb. Not between pregnancies and not since my baby was born. I'm also dairy free for suspected diary allergy and still nothing. Surely I should have lost something? I tracked my calories for a few days and they were all well below 2000s. I know I'm strong, my cousin couldn't actually get my pram up a bank the other day and I'm always the one doing the heavy lifting in the house. But why is my body holding onto fat like its feeding 10 infants 😭

Average day

Breakfast - toast and Peanut butter or cereal and fruit and yogurt

I only ever drink black coffee or water.

Dinner - homemade pasta or chicken and salad wrap or rice dish etc

Tea - 5 bean chilli, pizza, curry and rice, kievs, Sunday roasts, soup, baby potatoes and salad, spaghetti bol etc.

Snacks - oranges, apples, strawberrys, breakfast bars, popcorn.

Keep in mind I'm dairy free so all of this is vegan stuff. I used to enjoy the odd biscuit but don't like the vegan version.
Why am I not losing?? I don't understand.

I agree with @Azureshores.

OP please be kind to yourself. You have a tiny baby and a toddler to take care of. Your body has had 2 years of pregnancy and breastfeeding so far, and will adjust in time. Please don’t think now is the time to worry about losing weight. Your diet sounds fairly healthy overall.

steroids can make me bloody starving. My kids are older than yours but I put on a stone in a month just from steroid use, so I know that can also be a massive factor that affects weight and appetite. You are also sleep deprived which is horrible (but gets better!).

do what you need to do to survive these early crazy days. Enjoy your children. Unless you are severely overweight (you haven’t actually said your height/weight) take your time, be sensible with food and be kind to yourself. You have years ahead of you to lose weight if you want to.

I meant dangerous for me. If I'm cutting diary and then calorie restricting to 1200 I will not be getting my recommended nutrients for a healthy lifestyle. I am exhausted and my blood test results already show deficiency in calcium, vit D, iron and vitamin B12.

That would be helpful thank you. Both my DC are 99centile for height and weight. The sperm donor I used was 6ft3. Totally expected and normal size kids.

I would gain weight if I ate that. OP. Too many carbs - bread, wraps, pasta, rice and possibly the cereal bars? And obviously portion sizes matter.

Thank you @Azureshoresand @hottoday22that makes me feel a little better 🫶 I know this is just a phase in my life and I am really proud of my body and everything's its been through. Hopefully after breastfeeding I can start to focus more on my diet and overall health x

Yeah I think this is good advice. The 'you are eating too much food' comment straight away is just silly, no idea of portion sizes, weight, height and so on. I don't know a lot about it but is it really necessary to cut down on carbs? I mean other than cutting out simple carbs, like cake and sweets, chips? Which we all know are bad for us generally if you eat too much of them. I understand lower carb can help people who have pcos and diabetes however it's a clash between the idea that you need to change the composition of your diet (macros) and that you simply need to maintain a calorie deficit.

Op you sound like a goddess of a mother, up and down them hills with your pram like something from The Lord of the Rings, and you have a toddler and had a baby 11 weeks ago! Wow

You will lose weight if you want to but take it easy and enjoy the summer with them xx

You’re eating a lot. Loads of snacking and sugary fruit.

I ate a healthy diet when I breastfed, but didn’t feel it necessary to add extra calories. I gauged the fact that I had a copious (verging on the ridiculous) milk supply as evidence I was well nourished. Plus I had a very fat baby.

As you’re eating 3 dense and calorific meals a day, I’d look to cut out the snacks.

I'm another one who could not lose any weight when breastfeeding. For some people, the weight drops off but for me, my body stubbornly held on to every pound until I stopped breastfeeding when my youngest was 11 months old. That was also around the time she slept through the night.
I think it's the combination of exhaustion and hormones that make it so difficult.
Once I stopped breastfeeding I was able to lose the weight.

This. If you used to be able to eat all of that without weight gain but now your metabolism has changed after GD, it could be a sign of insulin resistance. Sorry, OP. Get some blood tests.

Don’t have any advice but just to say I was absolutely ravenous when breastfeeding. Best to speak to your GP.

I kept all my weight until I stopped breastfeeding each time. I was put on a really low dose of steroids in my early 20s and went from 9 stone to 11 in about a month, it was a real shock, but I did get better, come off them and went back to my previous weight.

Your main role at the moment is to look after your children and try to enjoy that - you’re doing a great job and that is enough for now.

There are ways to get nutrients in and reduce calories. Meat and fibre are your friend. Calcium supplements / plant milks, vitamin d, b12 and iron supplements.

carbs produce sugar spikes and crashes and will contribute to the exhaustion.

you don’t need to cut to 1200 but you won’t lose weight on 2000. Try 1600, see how it goes. If no loss than try 1500, and so on.

if you want to lose weight you can.

Hi OP. Please don't be hard on yourself! I had my babies 15 months apart and totally get how back to back pregnancies can wreak havoc on your body. I put on about 3 stone after my second and barely lost anything after she was born! I was ebf and the weight wasn't budging. This was despite lugging a double buggy around etc

It was only after I stopped bf that I lost the weight. Which is v strange because the weight fell off of me when I was ebf my 1st. I'm about 5lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight now and haven't been too careful with diet or anything. It was the bfing that kept the weight from shifting.

My two are now 26 moths and 11 months and all my clothes fit again. Just need to lose a bit more to be completely comfortable. Just keep eating healthily and staying active and it will come off on its own. Especially as you were a healthy weight before.

Be very proud of yourself for what you've achieved. I see you mentioned a sperm donor so I assume your journey to motherhood hasn't been straightforward. Be kind to yourself, enjoy these days, the weight will come off over time. 💛

I’m not sure what you mean by having to ‘be careful’ to eat enough as you’re breastfeeding. Your body will prioritise production of breast milk. Are you worried that you’ll faint or something?

@dontcomeatme - do you need to lose weight at this moment in your life? Your body is doing amazing and wonderful things! You sounds really strong, getting plenty of exercise, not enough sleep, and breastfeeding. I think you are doing enough right now! In your position I wouldn't worry about dieting and losing weight. Just eat as much wholesome, nutrition dense food as possible. You need it. You're doing amazing, nothing lasts forever and when you've weaned and the kids are sleeping you can move from a 'nourish' mindset to a 'tracking' mindset if that's what you want.

Fwiw - if anyone told me to eat 1400 calories a day, and that my diet is too carby when I was breastfeeding, I'd kick them in the shin 😁

I wish there was more research on breastfeeding and weight loss. Some people seem to lose weight really easily whilst feeding others (me) can't shift a pound until the baby is weaned. Once I stopped feeding with my first the weight fell off. I'm hoping it's the same thus time around.
I'm sure there are hormonal pathways involved which make some women hold a higher set weight until the baby is weaned.

Thank you 🥹 this post has made my morning xx

Love this 😅 good kick in tbe shin ha x

Adding some images for context. I used to be servery underweight with an eating disorder so though out my weight gains I've tried to stay positive, but I'm feeling uncomfortable now and want to feel more healthy but feel stuck due to steroid use etc. I can't imagine getting back to my pre pregnancy body. I am very proud of this body and what I've been through, I just want to get somewhere in the middle.

I don't think you've mentioned your protein intake in any of your replies. Track that and increase it. A zero protein breakfast is not a good move with possible blood sugar issues/insulin resistance.

There are so many ideas on Instagram/TT on how to up your protein intake.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/5319658-what-we-ate-today-in-a-calorie-deficit-whole-food-edition-and-how-do-we-feel?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share Here is the link, hopefully it works. I have been counting calories for several years now and I dutifully account for everything, including snacks and grazing while cooking (my big weakness).

I definitely don’t starve myself, I don’t follow any fad diet, no low carb or whatever. I only make sure that I eat at least 30g of fibre a day and that I don’t mindlessly eat in front of screens - we eat all meals at the dining table. That’s the only way I have ever known, both me and DH had similar eating habits at our childhood homes.

OP, now we know you have a history of an ED please seek support from your GP rather than the internet. The very last thing you want to happen is to slip into an ED mindset (your posts do not indicate this at all BTW, but you know it's a fine line).

Did you have professional support to get over your ED?

Honestly.

your baby is 13 weeks old. Your body is still recovering.

some people breastfeeding burns calories. Other people (me!) it causes the body to hang on to every ounce.

only my observation but with me reducing calories did not work while I was breastfeeding. I did not lose a pound. I cut carbs, walked everywhere, went to buggyfit 3 times a week. Not one ounce.

i stopped breastfeeding and lost nearly a stone immediately without trying.

i would eat sensibly and keep up with your exercising, but ignore the weight until a few more months when baby is at least weaning.

i think i fucked up my metabolism trying to lose weight while bf as my body was determined to keep my energy (fat) reserves so just slowed my BMR.

Yeah I did. And I recently just finished high intensity CBT for previous trauma, im always in and out of therapy that's how I keep myself "okay". I don't think I'm slipping, but I know exactly what you mean. I think the steroid use is making me feel awful, I'll definitely ring the GP try and maybe change medication or figure out a good diet plan. Thank you x

Look at the breakfast bars. Some are loaded with bad fats and sugar. Could easily get the benefits with a portion of almonds.

How old are you? Any chance it is peri kicking in.

Edit. Just saw your mention of steroids. I also have to take these and they caused a stone and a half weight gain despite trying to avoid it. Horrible. I am eating less than I need and have only dropped a kg or so. Don’t go on a radical diet and burn your stomach. I know someone who did. Also get advice on vit d supplements with steroids. Second the advice above. Get professional advice. Best wishes and good luck.