I don't understand my weight!!

[dontcomeatme]

I have put a lot of weight on in the last few years, around 4stone, had 2 DC back to back with gestational diabetes, forceps delivery 1st and then a c section for the 2nd.
I have breastfed both, I am still breastfeeding. I have 99centile kids, my 2YO is 35lb and my 13 week old is 20lb, so that's 55lb in the double buggy already, not including the frame, their bags, snacks, bottles etc. I don't drive so we bus and walk EVERYWHERE and I am ebf on demand. I haven't lost a single lb. Not between pregnancies and not since my baby was born. I'm also dairy free for suspected diary allergy and still nothing. Surely I should have lost something? I tracked my calories for a few days and they were all well below 2000s. I know I'm strong, my cousin couldn't actually get my pram up a bank the other day and I'm always the one doing the heavy lifting in the house. But why is my body holding onto fat like its feeding 10 infants 😭

Average day

Breakfast - toast and Peanut butter or cereal and fruit and yogurt

I only ever drink black coffee or water.

Dinner - homemade pasta or chicken and salad wrap or rice dish etc

Tea - 5 bean chilli, pizza, curry and rice, kievs, Sunday roasts, soup, baby potatoes and salad, spaghetti bol etc.

Snacks - oranges, apples, strawberrys, breakfast bars, popcorn.

Keep in mind I'm dairy free so all of this is vegan stuff. I used to enjoy the odd biscuit but don't like the vegan version.
Why am I not losing?? I don't understand.

Calculate your own calorie deficit on a tdee calculator and add however much you need for breastfeeding a day as if you are eating 2000 a day and not losing then this is your maintenance amount so you will need to go to 1500 a day to lose 1lb a week.

I lost 3 stone over a year and was breastfeeding for a year. I tracked everything on MFP stuck to 1500c, walked everywhere and did a weights workout 3x a week. Im 5ft2, and I was 40 as an older mum it was hard work. Worth checking out what your bmr and weigh everything that you consume it’s so easy to eat an extra 10% which could be the difference in losing a lb that week. Good luck it’s not easy if the baby isn’t a great sleeper as well.

I'm averaging about 3/4hrs a night and I have a toddler as well! I've started pumping as well so my OH can do some feeds so I can try and sleep. Definitely not working out any time soon, but I will keep up with my walks. Thank you! And congrats on your weight loss x

@Histoscientistthank you this makes sense! X

I was constantly hungry and thirsty while breastfeeding. It was partially to do with being exhausted because of night feeds so I was reaching for food - carbs - to give me an energy boost.

I couldn't lose any weight at all when I was breastfeeding. A combination of being hungry and tired all the time but also I think my body held on to it all. When I weaned my second (was also tandem feeding for a while which you think would surely help it come off!) I did start gradually losing without changing anything about my diet or upping exercise, I think my body just stopped stocking up on fat to feed the babies. You've got two small children, life is hard enough without tracking calories. Your diet sounds fine to me for a breastfeeding mum, it's not like you're going crazy on the UPFs or eating a packet of biscuits every evening (which would also be understandable given you have a 13 week old!). I don't think you'll get reasonable measured responses on here with regards to what is a suitable diet either so don't put too much stock into all the comments.

Explore the insulin resistance side of things before relentlessly slashing calories as is always advised on MN. It makes it very hard to lose weight unless you starve yourself, and I imagine a lot of the people who say 'i only lose weight on 1200 or less' are actually insulin resistant. Also your body is still recovering from having a baby.

How 2 courses for Breakfast ?? , she has one or the other , what she calls dinner , I’d call lunch time & what OP calls tea, I’d call dinner ..
3 meals though & healthy snacks 🤷🏻‍♀️

@OhBackToTheIslandhonestly I would love nothing more than a packet of biscuits 😅 my son has a suspected diary allergy so I'm having to be really strict! Thank you though, your post made me feel a little better x

You’ll get a lot of responses from the serial dieters and teeny-tinies who subsist on concentration camp style rations. Basically women who’ve fucked up their own metabolisms by starving themselves and therefore can’t eat a proper diet and decry other women who do.

Anecdotally OP, my body clung onto weight when I was breastfeeding and I’ve read other accounts from mumsnetters who said the same. So you might well be doing all the right things but you won’t see the results until you stop breastfeeding.

I don’t know anything about diabetes or insulin resistance but as to the rest: I spent two years pushing 25-35kg up a hill and back every day and my weight stayed high. Weight loss happens in the kitchen, not the gym.

I wouldn’t start a formal weight loss regime now, you have a very young baby and are sleep deprived. I would: swap out all snacks for apples, carrots and similar. Reduce carbs in meals significantly - swap to veg. Bolognese and veg, chili and veg and so on. Find something you can have an unlimited quantity of if you get hungry - in my case that was a tomato-based veg soup. Then after some time has passed and your nights are a bit easier, you can look at either some form of time restricted eating, or calorie counting.

Why are you restricting dairy? Healthy fats will make you feel full.

You will be feeling hungry when you eat lots of carbs and your blood sugar spikes and then subsequently drops. Look up reactive hypoglycaemia. The way to not feel hungry is to keep your blood sugar stable. You can do things like

1. Only eat carbs at the end of a meal/last of a plate. The food in your stomach will slow the blood sugar release. Eat protein and fats first. Don't snack on fruit or other sugarly food
2. Limit bread and pasta. If you do eat pasta swap for higher protein ones e.g chickpea, lentil
3. Move after eating. 10 min brisk walk or 20 squats

My breastfed baby has a suspected diary allergy so I have to cut all dairy from my diet.

This is only true if you're already a healthy weight. As you are significantly overweight it is perfectly safe to reduce your calories and also breastfeed. The risk of undereating while breastfeeding is weight loss - which is exactly what you want! You need to think about more nutrients, but fewer calories.

I’m also EBF a three month old so suggestions of getting 1200 kcal a day are pure fantasy. I’ve got 2 kilos left to lose to get back my pre-pregnancy weight and I eat 2400 and more calories daily. I’m currently 52 kg, 5’3” so “tiny teeny” or whatever insult is currently in fashion.

Having said that I noticed several things in your post OP that suggest that your eating habits are not helping you. 1) a two year old having snacks in the pram - are you hiking for long hours with your children that they have to snack, or is eating constantly something you generally do in the family, often unconsciously? 2) unless you actually weigh everything it’s impossible to tell how many calories you’re having, it’s very common to underestimate, usually by 1000s if you are putting on weight. 3) getting GD usually means that your diet has been working against your body for quite a while.

I also really struggled to lose weight breastfeeding the second time around it’s like my body held onto everything. Once I weaned I lost some straight away and the rest came off more easily.
It was just like I HAD to eat big meals with lots of carbs otherwise I would feel awful, especially with the lack of sleep.
I know it feels horrible not having a body you recognise or want but it might just be a case of it will all happen much more easily once you stop feeding and sleep a bit more.

You feel like you are very active , breastfeeding and eating well so should lose wieght

but that seems a bit of a fallacy

to lose weight you need to eat less than you use and that means you would likely feel uncomfortable hungry - most diets are about helping you eat less whilst minimising the feeling of hunger

you are eating exactly what you need

how much of the food is heavily processed ( the pizzas and kievs for example? Assume your rice is brown or basmati ? )

and remember the 2000 is an outdated figure 1800is the actual average women’s needs

ediy to add o think the PP has a great point

I am also 5ft 3. I meant snacks under the pram, I was talking about all the weight in the basket underneath. I don't drive and we can be out all day so I make sure to have snacks and water for the toddler to save me money from buying them. We walk all day to and from school, shops, family members. But our main walk is minimum 2hrs long, that's when the DC nap.
I always thought that about GD, but then my cousin got it, who is a very athletic woman who eats all the right stuff, her and her DH are Gym buddies and they cook together etc. And then my GP got it, who is a size 6 on a good day and very much a "my body is my temple" kinda woman. And the diabetic consultant told me in pregnancy GD is hardly ever due to weight or diet. I cut everything out when I was diagnosed to try and control my sugars but they still spiked. As did the other women's despite doing everything we were told.

We make our own pizzas using tortilla wraps and vegan cheese, actually really nice. The Kiev are frozen for on an "easy" night. I do love rice, but sometimes that's all I will eat, so Spanish grains, basamati, long grain. I just eat a bowl of rice and veg it's my favourite.

You haven’t lost any weight since your baby was born? Do you mean not since the initial baby + placenta + water or actually none at all?
I do think this is really unusual. If you’re eating following your hunger and doing all that walking then then must be something else going on.
Were you a healthy weight before your first child?

The 2000 cal guidance is nonsense. I am overweight for my height by a few lbs and my calorie allowance to MAINTAIN is 1600. I need to cut / burn 500 cals a day to lose 2lbs a week. I am using my fitness pal aiming for around 250cals under a day and losing 1lb a week.

I suggest you do a calorie calculator and use MFP religiously if you want to lose weight.

I couldn’t lose weight just Bf alone, I had to diet too.

This isn’t true btw. It absolutely isn’t dangerous at all. Even in SW you only get one extra portion of dairy or something like that if BF.

I lost 3 stone whilst Bf and had a really restricted diet due to various reasons (sometimes only have 1200 calories a day because I couldn’t physically eat any more) and my baby was absolutely fine, gained weight as expected etc.

I also have Type 2 diabetes running in my family, I had to do glucose tolerance test in every pregnancy. Of course you can be just unlucky to get type 2 but a combination of putting on a lot of weight and GD would suggest that there are lifestyle factors at play. Having a toddler at 99 centile, unless both parents are very tall and broad would also suggest lifestyle factors.

I generally don’t take snacks with me if I am going out for 2 hours unless we specifically go out to have a picnic, that’s why I noticed that, I didn’t mean this to criticise you OP, I’m just noticing differences as I also ebf and I am slowly losing my pregnancy weight without any problems.

Would it be helpful to have a look at one of the accountability threads? I’m on one and I post my daily meals with photos, I also dutifully count calories and I definitely don’t starve myself. I do eat occasional dairy but limited amount. I can post a link.

OP - please be cautious of some of the advice on here - there is a lot of disordered thinking/eating on the weight loss boards.

No, you are not eating “loads of food” - you are having three sensible meals a day plus fruit. You are a breastfeeding mother who is on medication that can make it difficult to lose weight - stop worrying about the weight loss for now and concentrate on your babies and looking after yourself.

Well done on the long hilly walks with two babies - I remember the double buggy well - I still have muscle memory from 20 years ago! 💪

Your body is amazing and strong and keeping your babies nourished and healthy. Go back to addressing your weight if you’re unhappy with it after you’ve moved on from this phase in your life.

You also haven’t said your weight/height so we people are advising you when they don’t even know if you’re overweight!

I lost all of that, which was about 2stone, baby was 10lb 7, plsu placenta and water etc. I always struggle with edema when pregnanct so that all came off. But nothing since no.
Yes very healthy weight before 1st child. Bmi always around 20 x