In 2023, I was clinically obese, I had lost my periods, and felt overwhelming shame and self-loathing. My New Year’s resolution wasn’t to lose weight. It was to heal my relationship with food, get my periods back, and to feel like myself again.
I am now a healthy BMI, but most importantly, I eat well. I love to exercise, I like myself, I am active and enthusiastic about life and my periods are regular again.
I had previously always been overweight or obese. I spent my teenage years and 20s endlessly yo-yo dieting.
If you are struggling or feel like the task is too great, I thought it might be helpful to share what I had learnt.
- Don’t go on a diet. I’d tried Slimming World, Weight Watchers, high protein, low carb, etc. It never worked. In fact, food rules made me feel like there was something wrong with me: none of my friends had to count syns or bring salads to parties to stay trim.
- Eat more. This is the biggest thing for me. Moving away from the mindset of restriction (I can’t eat too much of that, I mustn’t have that) and instead think about what you can ADD to a meal. Herbs, spices, seeds, a sprinkling of feta, a spoonful of kimchi. What can you add to your meal to nourish your body?
- Learn about food and use this knowledge to love yourself. I listened to the Zoe podcasts to learn how food can be the most powerful tool we have to improve our health every single day. Each time I eat well, I am doing it because I love myself and want to take care of my health. Ultra processed “low calorie alternatives” are about self-loathing. I never felt good putting unhealthy food into my body to line the pockets of an industry that thrives off of my insecurities.
- Think long term: I lost over 20% of my body weight in 12 months. This might sound a lot, but my goal was modest: half a pound a week. I could have aimed for more, and lost the weight in a few months. But I chose to take it slow so I wouldn’t have to diet. I ate out with friends, enjoyed new foods on holiday, ate cake on my birthday - all things I would have felt bad about if I’d aimed for faster weight loss. Which in turn would have made me feel deprived, then ashamed, until I binged. All before starting the cycle again.
- Habit stack. I now eat 30 plants and run 15-20 km a week, but this didn’t happen overnight. For the first few months, I ate more veg and tried to do 10k steps a day. When that was a habit, I started couch 2 5k. When that was a habit, I started adding high probiotic foods to my diet. If I’d tried it all at once, I would have been overwhelmed and failed.
- Remember, it might take a little while, but you will look like what you do. If you build healthy habits into your life, get your steps in, and eat mostly healthy, with the odd treat here and there, you will look like somebody who does those things. Take it slow, enjoy the journey and feel yourself evolve into a healthier, happier person.
You are worthy of loving yourself whatever your size and weight. There is a world of joy to be found out there from eating nourishing food because you love your body, and exercising because it’s fun. Experiment, find what you enjoy, and never forget that you deserve it.