From obese to healthy: what I’ve learnt

[treesandteas]

In 2023, I was clinically obese, I had lost my periods, and felt overwhelming shame and self-loathing. My New Year’s resolution wasn’t to lose weight. It was to heal my relationship with food, get my periods back, and to feel like myself again.

I am now a healthy BMI, but most importantly, I eat well. I love to exercise, I like myself, I am active and enthusiastic about life and my periods are regular again.

I had previously always been overweight or obese. I spent my teenage years and 20s endlessly yo-yo dieting.

If you are struggling or feel like the task is too great, I thought it might be helpful to share what I had learnt.

1. Don’t go on a diet. I’d tried Slimming World, Weight Watchers, high protein, low carb, etc. It never worked. In fact, food rules made me feel like there was something wrong with me: none of my friends had to count syns or bring salads to parties to stay trim.
2. Eat more. This is the biggest thing for me. Moving away from the mindset of restriction (I can’t eat too much of that, I mustn’t have that) and instead think about what you can ADD to a meal. Herbs, spices, seeds, a sprinkling of feta, a spoonful of kimchi. What can you add to your meal to nourish your body?
3. Learn about food and use this knowledge to love yourself. I listened to the Zoe podcasts to learn how food can be the most powerful tool we have to improve our health every single day. Each time I eat well, I am doing it because I love myself and want to take care of my health. Ultra processed “low calorie alternatives” are about self-loathing. I never felt good putting unhealthy food into my body to line the pockets of an industry that thrives off of my insecurities.
4. Think long term: I lost over 20% of my body weight in 12 months. This might sound a lot, but my goal was modest: half a pound a week. I could have aimed for more, and lost the weight in a few months. But I chose to take it slow so I wouldn’t have to diet. I ate out with friends, enjoyed new foods on holiday, ate cake on my birthday - all things I would have felt bad about if I’d aimed for faster weight loss. Which in turn would have made me feel deprived, then ashamed, until I binged. All before starting the cycle again.
5. Habit stack. I now eat 30 plants and run 15-20 km a week, but this didn’t happen overnight. For the first few months, I ate more veg and tried to do 10k steps a day. When that was a habit, I started couch 2 5k. When that was a habit, I started adding high probiotic foods to my diet. If I’d tried it all at once, I would have been overwhelmed and failed.
6. Remember, it might take a little while, but you will look like what you do. If you build healthy habits into your life, get your steps in, and eat mostly healthy, with the odd treat here and there, you will look like somebody who does those things. Take it slow, enjoy the journey and feel yourself evolve into a healthier, happier person.

You are worthy of loving yourself whatever your size and weight. There is a world of joy to be found out there from eating nourishing food because you love your body, and exercising because it’s fun. Experiment, find what you enjoy, and never forget that you deserve it.

I would like this too it would be really helpful.

Amazing @treesandteas

Well done you. So nice to read about weight loss in such a low pressure, balanced environment.

Having lost a lot of weight myself in similar circumstances i wondered if you had encountered an improved stomach health and other general benefits. I had previously suffered from terrible acid reflux which disappeared. Snoring in my sleep also stopped. I am also much more resilient to any colds. I used to get an annual cough which would last for months. This has been absent the last two winters.

I am sure there have been more.

Brilliant advice. Thank you

You did lose weight because you ate fewer calories than you used. That’s the physics of it. I guess the point is you did this by eating food that reduces inflammation, stabilises blood sugar and regulates hormones (including those associated with appetite), and boosts heart and brain health. Anyone could lose weight by eating one mars bar a day but no one could stick to it. You’d feel atrocious!

My health was in a horrible place a few years ago - not vastly overweight but no energy, bad hair and skin, constipated and constantly getting ill. I did the Zoe programme (it’s so expensive I know but I could afford it and it was worth it for me) and what I learned about blood sugar and the role of fibre made a huge difference to my diet. I honestly feel so much better.

Also I have a weird bug bear about the language of restrictive eating…. I literally cringe when i read the words “small handful of nuts” or “one spoonful of low fat yoghurt.” Makes me want to chuck something!

Would love to hear about what you’ve been eating. I follow Zoe too and have been working on eating more veg and fibre, and taking care of my microbiome, but am not in a position just now to sign up for the programme.

Thank you, OP, for sharing your inspiring story. Appreciate it x

👍

The changes I’ve really stuck to over a few years now are:

Breakfast with low carbs but high protein/fat/fibre. So Greek yoghurt with seeds/nuts and berries, or eggs and avocado. Or leftovers from yesterdays dinner.This makes such a big difference to my appetite regulation throughout the day.

Eating more beans, pluses and nuts (yesterday I had tuna pasta for lunch and added half a can of chickpeas). I always have a bag of nuts with me!

Eating full fat foods - olive oil, avocado, cheese, kefir, Greek yogurt etc.

I should add though that the programme includes a blood sugar monitor for two weeks and showed that my blood sugar control is really poor (bottom 10% for my age bracket but not yet diabetic). You might have good blood sugar control but poor fat metabolism so the things that make a big difference to you will be different (though healthy fats and fibre seem good for everyone).

Hope that helps!

Brilliant advice, some of the weight loss advice trotted out on MN Is so damaging.

Can I add one thing?

Learn about blood sugar and insulin resistance. I discovered I had insulin resistance back in September and by sorting this dropped 3kg in a month. Follow glucose goddess on insta and she now has her own channel 4 show. Really easy to fix and manage as well

Thank you, that’s so helpful.

I didn’t use to, so when I tried dieting in the past, I didn’t really think of food as something that had any positive qualities - it was just something that made me fat.

Shifting the mindset from deprivation to nourishing and adding nutrition has really helped.

The Zoe podcasts I listened to on Spotify. I would say scroll through and pick the ones that are most interesting to you “How to eat in 2025” is a good one to start with!

Opposite for me. If I don’t monitor my weight and eating it piles back on. I eat very healthy generally but it was too easy to have a couple of extra bits or portion size increased, and the weight went on again.

I learned everyone is different and what works for one doesn’t work for someone else. for years I tried all the “amazing” diets, low fat, low carb, fasting, protein, nothing worked. Ditched it all and went back to 3 meals a day calorie controlled. Lost the weight.

so find what works for you. That changes your lifestyle and is easiest to stick to. For some that will be low carb, for others calorie controlled, for others still what o/p has done.

Of course!

Breakfast
Greek yoghurt, kefir, berries, granola, cinnamon, seed mix, nuts

Lunch
If at home: Smashed avocado on sourdough with egg, feta, kimchi, spinach, coriander

If at work: Egg and potato tortilla with salad leaves and sriracha, or a Yo Sushi chicken poke bowl with fruit

Dinner
Bean chilli (I serve it with a yoghurt dip mixed with cajun spices, jalapeños, coriander, homemade pickled onions, guacamole, a sprinkling of cheese and some rice)

or

salmon or tofu with stir fried noodles and broccoli, peppers, edamame beans, spring onion, coriander, lots of lime

I don’t measure or count calories but I can pretty much eyeball how much is a serving size. I try to make sure my plate looks balanced and I eat as much as I need to feel comfortably full. On days when I run, I tend to eat bigger portions. I usually increase the protein element of the meal if I’m still hungry rather than the carb (e.g more yoghurt or salmon, but same amount of granola or rice)

Amazing achievement well done. Fantastic post, lots of wisdom there. I needed to hear that. I'm not obese, but because I only have a stone or so to lose I'm always trapped thinking I don't overeat now so I'll need to starve myself to make any difference. The reality is I don't eat particularly well- I need to make friends with vegetables don't I 😀

“You lost weight because you burnt more calories than you ate”

That’s like saying “you’re happy because your brain is releasing seratonin”

On the most basic physiological level, that is somewhat correct (some of the time). But would that have helped me when I was obese and struggling with food? No! Again, I would have seen food as nothing more than calories to be counted and exercise as nothing more than a vehicle for burning them. The whole point of this post was to hopefully help someone else choose health over dieting.

This statement is just so unhelpful and doesn’t translate to everyday life at all.

Thank you! It sounds like it’s time to release the veg (but only eat ones you like!)

This is the general pattern I follow:

Breakfast:
Blueberries' (I buy frozen bags) with a spoonful each of oat bran or granola , flax seeds and full fat greek yogurt, and a couple of walnuts.

Lunch:
One modest slice of wholemeal bread, something protein-based or maybe some home made soup, some salad or veg items. All chosen because they are things that I enjoy. Maybe a satsuma or apple

Snack:
A couple of oat biscuits and a modest lump of lovely cheese, or sometimes a small bag of crisps, or a couple of biscuits and some green ginger tea, or whatever.

Dinner:
The normal range of dinner options. Last night I had 2 sausages, mash, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower cheese, onion gravy. Big portion of veg (easy on the cheese sauce). I put milk and parsley in mash, not big slabs of butter, and add flavour to the whole lot with mustard, some cayenne in the cheese sauce, etc. I go easy on things like pizza - I used to eat a whole one, now I eat half plus loads of salad or veg or have fruit after. So I eat things I like but have adjusted my view of a normal portion size - and favour tastes I enjoy rather than 'whooooaaaar what a plateful!"

I made one step at a time.

Swapped multiple slices of toast and marmalade for berries and yog
then
Swapped unregulated snacking for planning healthy snacks that I enjoy
then started prioritising protein at lunch
then adjusted portion size in the evening while planning delicious recipes I wanted to try.

I appreciate nice cake and enjoy that I have enjoyed a slice if it is a birthday or whatever. I used to eat Kipling cakes if they wee in front of me, but didn't actually enjoy the quality of flavour of most, now I would actively swerve a fondant fancy.

I used to eat chocolate mindlessly at my desk. I never actually liked cheap choc - now I treat myself to expensive choc, eat it in small quantities and really enjoy it.

Thank you for all the replies! I will respond to them all properly this evening

Well done, that's amazing!

I was always super thin. Size 4 or 6. 5'7". Unhealthy, obsessed with exercise. I got to 40 and then the weight started to pile on.

I lost a third of my body weight when I was 45. Then I put it back on again. And a bit more!

Anyway. 53 now. I've lost some weight from getting a dog. She had surgery last week and even she has lost weight since I rehomed her in the autumn.

I read something the other day about motivation. It was a Tiktok video of someone being chased by a bear in the US. It was something like you don't find motivation until motivation finds you. I liked that. But I wouldn't like to need chased by a bear to find it!

I don’t disagree with you. I’m on board with all the advice you’ve shared and follow similar myself to good effect.

And I trust you when you say knowing that you’d need to burn more calories than you absorb over time wouldn’t have helped you lose weight. You found a way that worked and it sounds positive and really healthy for mind and body.

I do personally find it helpful to remember that eating excess calories over time causes me to gain weight. Fine if others don’t.

On a physiological level it is right all of the time unless a person has a health condition which means this doesn't apply to them.

I just would like to stop the bollocks which gets repeated about weight loss. People who run their metabolisms down by eating too little, the "starvation mode" myth, you can only lose weight over 40 by cutting carbs, the disordered eating that goes on, etc, etc. I think it's high time medical attention was focused on the psychological side of people's relationship with food and on being healthy, rather than a particular clothes size or weight. I'm guilty of some of this thinking myself!

I would disagree with the first sentence as I do think it’s more nuanced physiologically (this explains it better than I could)

I agree with your second paragraph though and I’m guilty of it too! definitely made harder by the diet culture we have been surrounded by (particularly in the early 2000s - so toxic)

I acknowledged that.

Why are you so combative?

OP in the interview you've linked to Yeo states:

*In order to lose weight, you need to eat less. I don't even want to debunk anything, because that's got to be true. Okay, so when we opened you said there was a calorie deficit, you need an energy deficit in your food if you want to lose weight.

And there is no if, ands, or buts about that because it's a function of physics.*

What he's saying is you need to think about the quality of the food you are eating and its make up in terms of how healthy it is. Which is where macros, fibre, vitamins and minerals come in.

Years ago I remember someone telling me she lost weight eating three chocolate bars a day. She'd have probably enjoyed it more and certainly got more nutritional benefit from eating three meals with the same calorific content.