Still over weight but being told I am "too skinny" and need to stop?

[Frequency]

Is this something anyone else has experienced?

I've lost just over 6 stone up to now but I am still very much in the overweight category with a BMI of 28.7, a few pounds heavier and I would be obese again. I'm wearing a size 16-18 clothes.

In the last few weeks, people have commented that I am getting very thin and shouldn't lose much more. I've also had people tell me I am already too thin and need to put a bit back on.

I don't always have the healthiest of relationships with my weight and food and sometimes need a bit of a sanity check to stop me from going too far in either direction. This recent switch from people telling me how well I've done to telling me I need to stop and looking concerned when I say I still have a lot more to lose has me questioning myself. I am still, imo, very clearly overweight, so unless my scales and my clothes sizes are lying to me something else is going on to make people say this to me.

Well why do you want to lose weight? If you want to lose weight for health then you know your BMI is still overweight. You've done amazingly well, but you aren't at risk of being underweight at this point.

Other people are a poor judge of weight, its either because they are used to you being larger and you've now dropped to a weight where you seem slim or jealousy.

I guess just have think about the rate you are dropping weight and your relationship with food. Are you still eating regular meals? Plenty of protein and healthy fats? Do you have plenty of energy? If yes then I would ignore them

I think people find it difficult to adjust when someone they know loses a significant amount of weight.

It's a shame they need to keep commenting on it.

Keep going, you're doing really well.

Also well done on 6 stone weight loss!

Have you cut calories drastically? My Dad does this so he looks so worn down he looks overweight.

How quickly have you lost this weight?

Hmm, I'd mistrust the motives of these people here. Are they slim or overweight themselves?

People are comparing you to 'old you' and coming up with skinny because they don't know what healthy you looks like (or maybe it's been a long time).
I'm similar...BMI just about in healthy range but definitely carrying excess weight still. But people who haven't seen me still expect to see 'fat' me so it's a shock and I look slim to them despite not quite being there yet.
As long as you know you are healthy, losing sensibly and will know when is the right time to stop then you don't need to worry at all. Just thank people for compliments, smile, and don't get drawn into conversation about when you'll stop...it's none of their business!

Congratulations on your weight loss!

Yes people are weird, you aren't fitting into the box they have in their head for you and it makes some people uncomfortable. Keep doing what you are doing and don't discuss it with them. If they say 'oh you look really skinny now' just say thanks, dont add anything about loosing more.

You’ve done a great job, trust yourself.

Well done on what you have achieved so far OP 👏
pare the people saying you are too thin overweight/obese themselves?
because anyone knows that a bmi of 28 plus is overweight….. they are likely jealous of how well you’ve done.
I have a bmi of 19 and no one ever says I’m ‘too’ skinny

It’s because you’re making them feel bad about themselves; but not bad enough that they’ll do something about it, just bad enough that they want you to stop now. Jealousy, as a PP has said.

Carry on, OP.

Some of them are slim some are overweight but not as overweight as I am. They're not close friends, so I don't think it is the issue of not being the fat friend anymore. I don't see any of these people socially. It's work colleagues and staff in places I shop regularly.

The weight has come off relatively quickly, I'd say it's taken about 7 months to get to this point.

Energy wise I feel fine. I have more energy now than I did when I was bigger and I'm sleeping better.

Wow well done. How are you doing it. I've got a lot to lose and wondering about wli.

Pay close attention to those who don't clap when you win. Well done OP. Keep going 👏🏼

That’s incredibly fast. You may just been looking a little gaunt through lack of calories/nutrients/vitamins.

Lasting weight loss usually occurs when the loss is a little slower than this. I would suggest upping your calories, plenty of protein and fibre and slowing your weight loss down a little.

@MineMineMineMineMine just calorie counting and walking. I do keep meaning to add in some resistance training but by the time I get home from work, walk the dog, have a quick tidy up I just wanna veg in front of the TV and browse MN.

I use an app called Nutracheck to track my calories. I weigh foods to keep on track, not religiously but every now and again to make sure my portion sizes haven't crept up and I'm still tracking the correct number rather than tracking for 125g of grilled chicken while I'm actually eating 200g.

Between walking to and from work and walking the dog I get around 16,000 steps a day. I try to walk as fast as I can to get my heart rate up.

I wouldn't give a second thought to comments from work colleagues and shop staff, they're just reacting to you being out of the box they'd mentally put you in. It's their mild cognitive dissonance at the change that they're expressing. None of them are close enough to you to know how much you actually weigh and where you are in relation to your goal, so their opinions are uninformed and therefore meaningless.

You look different and they don’t like it, whether they realise it or not. At a size 16-18 you are obviously not too thin (not trying to piss on your chips - well done on the weight loss so far) so ignore them. People say this all the time to people losing weight - it’s always ‘oh dont get too gaunt’ to someone like yourself who is definitely not gaunt. They just don’t like how your face shape has changed.

It's just something people say. No idea why. It's definitely a thing, though. If you suggested they gain 4 stone they'd be shocked and think you were rude, weird, disillusioned. When they do it, it's polite chat! I've experienced this. No answer as to why people do it, but that's besides the point.

Well done OP, that's amazing weightless and you should be very proud. A healthy BMI is absolutely what you want, just go slowly and steadily as I'm sure you have been until you reach that point.
Always consult your doctor if you have any concerns about your weightloss or psychological changes relating to it.

Good luck and we'll done! 💐

Wow you've been losing a lot and by yourself too. That's incredible. What shifted? I'd love all the answers 😍

do you see them very often? I have a friend who has lost 5 stone his year. I didn’t see them for a couple of months, and it was quite a shock, and my reaction was probably similar that they had lost sooo much weight. Looking at photos, they look prettty normal shape and size though.

youve made great progress so far so keep going till you get to your target weight. You need to learn some bland phrases ‘oh thanks, I’ll think about that’ or something else. Don’t enter into discussion about it.

Maybe your face is looking gaunt from all the weight loss, that should change in time though. Also people aren’t used to seeing the new you and will take time to adjust to that. Congratulations on the weight loss, I’m sure you look lovely.

Are you definitely a size 16/18? It’s amazing how easy it is to continue to reach for larger sizes, when you might have dropped to a size 14.. those larger clothes will then swamp you and make you look as though your wasting away underneath (gif want of a better phrase!)

@MineMineMineMineMine I hurt my knee and the GP told me it was my weight and refused to help me. She also told me to have joint issues as bad as I was described at my age if I carried as I was I would need knee replacements by 60.

I've always been active and have a very young, active dog who needs me to be able to walk for miles and miles with him, so the thought of never being able to walk without pain panicked me a lot.

It turned out not to be weight-related but that panic stayed with me. I don't want to lose my mobility and it hit home that I would if I didn't change something.

Ignore them- this is about you and your health and well being. Well done on getting so far and good luck with the rest of your weight loss

6 stone in 7 months is an amazing achievement, well done!!! Losing weight that quickly can lead you to look a little gaunt in the face which may have lead them to say what they did.

I do think you should slow down, not because of their comments but to ensure that you can keep the weight off.