Still over weight but being told I am "too skinny" and need to stop?

[Frequency]

Is this something anyone else has experienced?

I've lost just over 6 stone up to now but I am still very much in the overweight category with a BMI of 28.7, a few pounds heavier and I would be obese again. I'm wearing a size 16-18 clothes.

In the last few weeks, people have commented that I am getting very thin and shouldn't lose much more. I've also had people tell me I am already too thin and need to put a bit back on.

I don't always have the healthiest of relationships with my weight and food and sometimes need a bit of a sanity check to stop me from going too far in either direction. This recent switch from people telling me how well I've done to telling me I need to stop and looking concerned when I say I still have a lot more to lose has me questioning myself. I am still, imo, very clearly overweight, so unless my scales and my clothes sizes are lying to me something else is going on to make people say this to me.

I’ve had the same. I lost 5 stone but I’m still very firmly in the overweight range. People love to tell me I’m ‘skinny’ now but they don’t know what to say when I tell them I still have a couple of stone to loose to get to a healthy BMI. It’s frustrating!

You're doing great OP! Huge well done

Unless you hit the underweight category of BMI I wouldn't worry. You can even be at the low end of healthy (which looks v thin for some) and be healthy.

I imagine people are either jealous, or used to seeing you much bigger. Keep going! 💪

I wouldn’t describe a size 16-18 person as being ‘very thin’. My first thought is that they are jealous of your weight loss. Keep going and well done

I think people get worried and part of that worry is you might have an eating disorder and will make yourself ill. Some people of course get jealous and want you to stop as you’re making them feel bad. Sometimes if you lose weight quickly it can make your face look a little gaunt which is associated with being poorly, so again you might have people suggesting it’s enough.

Very well done, i'm an ex-fattie & know how hard it is.

However, we both know that 16-18 is still fat, so best of luck with losing the rest of the weight.

People hate change. I lost friends when I lost weight. Now I’m bigger again and I’m sure the same people are delighted. Do it for you. You know size 16 means more loss would be good for health so don’t let them get into your head.

Thanks all.

It's hard to know what to say when people ask if I'm going to "stop" now I'm "skinny" because a) I am not anywhere near skinny and b) I wasn't really planning on ever "stopping" as such.

I've found a few healthy meals that I enjoy and eat in rotation depending on what I fancy that night, ditto snacks. I am relaxed about social occasions and will eat what I fancy off the menu and just get back on plan the next day. If I really fancy something unhealthy or something I can't fit into my calories I wait until the day after and if I still want it, I eat it and get back on track right after.

I plan on eating this way forever and assume that at some point my TDEE will catch up with my weight and the weight loss will naturally stop.

If I stop, in the way people appear to mean it, as in stop the "diet", and start eating how I used to I would end up being 6 stone heavier again. It doesn't really feel like a diet anymore. It did for the first couple of months, now it is just the way I eat, if that makes sense?

Well done OP.

I would listen to medical advice- so either NHS guidelines on a healthy weight or a doctor who has assessed you personally.

I had people make similar comments to me, I think it’s a brain not engaged comment and I would ignore it. If someone asks say my body will fit a weight it’s comfortable at.

Your appearance has changed and people are struggling with that.

Just ignore.
Id have a few stock answers for anyone who makes a comment. To start with they’re rude!! But also their ‘advice’ isn’t right - and you know it.
Something like ‘I dint think so’ should be enough.

Absolutely this. "People" are not key on change
And kudos to you OP @Frequency

I plan on eating this way forever and assume that at some point my TDEE will catch up with my weight and the weight loss will naturally stop.

That makes sense, even though it’s more complicated than that.
But you’re totally right that you’ve changed your eating habits. That’s not being on a diet. That’s eating more healthly. Carry on with that. You’re doing great.
And when you get towards your target weight, you can still slightly modify your eating habits so that you stay there rather than still loose weight.

Op it’s the difference, so they are used to seeing you one way so seeing you smaller they think you are now thin, as it’s in comparison to how you normally look, if that makes sense. If your bmi was normally 21 and they then saw you at 28, they’d think you looked really fat. It is simply the change,

Just ignore the noise. You know you still have work you want to do to get to a healthy and comfortable BMI.

A great quote I like is 'What someone else thinks of you is none of your business!'

It's your life, your self esteem, your body. It's taken me decades to stop letting myself down because I'm scared of what other people think.

I’d just carry on the way you have been OP until you get to a healthy weight you’re happy with. I think if people haven’t seen you for a while then it’ll be genuine surprise - but they really need to work on the rudeness/bluntness. Well done on your losses - however quick it’s come off, it will stay off if you don’t return to old habits.

@Frequency

It's hard to know what to say when people ask if I'm going to "stop" now I'm "skinny" because a) I am not anywhere near skinny and b) I wasn't really planning on ever "stopping" as such.

I'd find it really hard to take these comments seriously and I would probably wind people up and say things like:

"What do you mean "skinny", I've gained 3 stone this year!! I'm trying to get to my goal weight of 23 stone by Christmas, do you think I'll make it?"

"I'll be happy when I look like Kate Moss"

And if you're feeling really evil

"I'll stop when I weigh 1 lb less than you" 🤪