Happy that lost weight then a really slim person next to me

[jellyg]

Feel disheartened as lost couple stone
Two more to go but felt better until a women who is probably a size 6 or 8 sat near me and my motivation goes and I think what is the point as I'm never going look like that! I'm size 16.

That doesn't matter, you need o shift your mindset from aesthetics to health - your body will be healthier than it is now and your knees are less likely to get osteoarthritis.

She may well be looking at you wishing she had some more curves, you never know.

Definitely don't compare yourself to others. There will always be things we might see and wish we had, but as pp said, we need to focus on ourselves.
You've done so well, it's not easy shifting weight, and you should be happy with how far you've come.

Just focus on yourself. Focus on being healthy and feeling good about yourself . There will always be people smaller than you.
I'm a size 12 but tall, so I am slim-ish. However, if I sit next to a friend who is petite (short) and a size 8, then I feel enormous! It doesn't matter, I just want to feel healthy and look as good as I can.

Reframe your reasons for losing weight. It's not just about how you look. It's about taking excellent care of yourself, of your health, your fitness, your ability to move and participate in life fully. You may never look like the size six girl, but you already look and feel lots better than you did.

My attitude shifted when I was feeling so jealous of a very slim, graceful young woman in the exercise class I went to, wishing I had her body, not mine, then overheard the instructor asking how she was coping with her diagnosis of early onset rheumatoid arthritis. Suddenly I felt really grateful to be in my own chunky but healthy body and decided never to feel envious of another woman's looks, as you never know what she has to contend with.

Your weight loss journey is about being a healthier, happier version of you! There will always be someone thinner no matter how much you lose. Their journey is irrelevant to you.

Also, just because they are thinner doesn't mean they look better OR are more of a joy to be around, which I'm sure you are.

By that logic you're not going to be satisfied until you're the thinnest person in your town? Or on the planet?

Also, just because they are thinner doesn't mean they look better OR are more of a joy to be around, which I'm sure you are.

What does that even mean??

Stop comparing yourself to others.
You have no idea the struggles of others, you may think she's better than you at a size 8 but how do you know she's not ill and desperate to gain, or has body dysmorphia.

I get you OP. But look how well you’ve done and how good you were feeling after your loss. Losing weight is not easy - it’s a real bloody struggle! You should feel proud of yourself.

And what is the old saying…….comparison is the thief of joy.

Comparison is the thief of joy - you've done incredibly well and should feel proud ☺️ for what it's worth I'm a size 20 and would look big sitting next to you so it's all relative 🤷🏼‍♀️

I hear you. I lost just over two stone too and felt great about it to start with. Now I just feel like I did at the start. My upper arms underneath where they meet my underarms were so crinkly this morning I was shocked and wanted to cry. I went from a full size 12 to a comfortable 10 depending on where it's from so I don't feel like I've much to show for that 2 stone either especially as I'm short. I thought I'd look great at this weight but I don't especially if I'm next to someone slimmer and toned. I feel I've aged in the last two years and yes I have cheekbones but I look older. My neck has got rid of the double chin but gained crinkles. And to boot I developed high blood pressure! Ffs.
I agree that we shouldn't compare ourselves and usually the person we envy has their own insecurities and issues but we are human and it's so difficult not to do that.
Congratulations on your 2 stone. You've done amazing and I think you should try your best compare only yourself against yourself if you have to make comparisons. You will be in better health now, eating better, exercising more perhaps. Great achievements that you can be proud of

But you know that’s a ridiculous mindset. It’s great you’ve lost so much weight, but there will always be someone thinner, prettier and richer round the corner. Better to be 12 stone, than 14.

Thinking ‘oh fuck it, what’s the point, I’ll never be a size 8, so I’ll carry on eating shit and stay 14 stone’ is just twisted logic.

I’m sure this is being said with good intentions but why would someone a size 8 be « desperate to gain »? It is a health size, not extremely skinny.

Not necessarily.
Size 8 is a clothing size. That is all. It is not an indicator of health.
Some bodies are healthy at size 8, others aren't.
I know of one woman who was a healthy size 12 and full of life.
One large infection later, admitted to hospital at deaths door and she spent many many weeks on the ward. When she was discharged she had lost 4 stone, and was around a size 8. She was ill. Her body had no reserves left. Someone like the OP would have looked at her and wished they could be her. Being part of her medical team I knew how much she needed to regain and restrengthen.

Why would you want to be a six 6 though? That's extremely thin. You can go too far you know.

No it isn’t 🙄

There are some things you simply can't change about your body, the only person worth comparing to is yourself. You will look better at a healthy weight, your body will be less burdened and almost certainly healthier at a healthy weight.

I look extremely slim as a size 12. I have wide hips and a broad back and I’m tall. That would be BMI of 22. A size 14 puts me in the healthy BMI range.
When I was a size 8 as a teen my weight was under 7 stone and I was anorexic so yes I was extremely skinny and needed to gain weight.

Thankyou for all the replies
I agree I am more healthier but just look at ladies size 10 or below and feel massive and bulky.
My goal which is to lose two more stone feels ages away!

I'm 5'11 and generally quite broad so I get it, even when I've been at a below optimal body fat percentage I've not been below a size 10, and that's okay! We are all different, one of my closest friends is a size 4 but eats a balanced diet, is active and looks in proportion. She would only be a size 10 if she was overweight, but for me it's my lowest healthy size. I think you'll find losing the rest and maintaining for the rest of your life challenging if you don't learn to love your body- once you accept you're doing it to look after yourself it's easier to stay motivated.

Life is like parkrun OP - each of us has our own race to run, we aren't running against others, we're running against ourselves, trying to better ourselves, be the healthiest and best versions of ourselves.

You may well never be a size 6 or 8 - those are small sizes and many bodies simply don't get that small without absolute starvation (not recommended).

So you do you. This is your body, your health and it really doesn't matter what anyone is doing or looking like. Their size has no bearing on your life and your health. So focus on yourself. This isn't about them. Their body size is irrelevant.

Well done for losing two stone - that is a brilliant achievement!

I remember as long time ago a partner saying I wasn't attractive to him anymore. At that time I had lost 2stone 7lbs and was about ten pounds less than I am now.
That comment really messed my head up. As I was dieting and trying to look and feel better by that comment made me think what's the point. I'm still unattractive now and was a lower weight back then then what I am now. I put too much emphasis on what other people think of me as he used to say I was beautiful. Makes me 😢 as never expected from him!

@broccolienthusiast no need for eye rolling. If it's your natural shape and you're not very tall then of course it's fine. It's the second smallest size we stock in England so I'd say it's very slim.
I was more meaning that to go from a size 16 to a size 6 is quite drastic. To me. You don't have to agree of course.

It's like everything else - no matter how attractive, slim, wealthy, successful, intelligent etc. you are, there will always be people who are more so.

I think it's all a matter of perception though. Somebody who is a size 6 or 8 isnt automatically healthy. I'm a size 18 but I eat well and exercise. I'm more healthy than my young slim daughter who eats junk food and doesn't exercise. I will never be a size 8 and I wouldn't want to be. I was once a size 12-14 and fixated on something else I didn't like about my body. I learned then that it's healthier to live a healthy life and embrace it.