How do slim people stay so motivated?

[bleakprewinter]

I have at least 20kg to lose but I just can’t stop eating too much. I’ve been out on antidepressants and had some counselling but I just end up saying the right things so I don’t have to attend anymore. Every day I have multiple treats, because they’re there or because I buy them. Even if I don’t have them in the house I will go to the shop and buy them. I was so good on holiday but when I was alone I ate the biscuits and nice stuff we had bought.
I can't seem to say no to food. Sat in a meeting today and someone brought some chocolate in, I held off for a bit but eventually ate a bar (despite having had yogurt and fruit and a pastry for breakfast, a huge sausage role and some fruit for lunch… and then had homemade curry and rice and wine for tea) even though the other women around the table said they wouldn’t as they had sweets yesterday/have an event next week etc.
I just don’t know how people eat “normally”, I just can’t stop myself but I can’t keep piling on the weight and being even more unhappy with how I look.

you sound bored op

what’s life like? exercise? social life? interests?

Work full time, mum of a 2 year old. Want to exercise but simply cannot get the motivation or time or effort up to do it. I know it will make me feel better but zero motivation. No real hobbies as DP works away a lot and solo parenting leaves me exhausted. Have great friends and family but a lot of them have kids or aren’t local.

I think if you can find the motivation and energy to move a little more, do exercise in whatever form you think you'd enjoy, it would also help you want to improve your eating habits. Believe in investing in yourself for your health and for your child. You are absolutely worth it. Just take little steps at a time. When do you have time for yourself?

I think a lot of them don’t need to “stay motivated“ as they just don’t have the “food noise” that you have- bit like I can walk past the bookies without having an urge to put my entire salary on the 2:30 at Kempton Park whereas for some people that would take major willpower.

What’s your BMI? Would mounjaro or similar be an option? Seems that basically makes you disinterested in food and makes it all a lot easier/ help you re-set.

• Ditch sugar, refined carbs and UPF.
• Instead eat lots if vegetables, moderate protein, some healthy fats and dairy.
• Intermittent fasting to lose weight.
• Learn to love savoury foods.
• Experiment with Mediterranean recipes.
• Use lemon, ginger, chilli, herbs, garlic, soy sauce, fish sauce, mustard, horseradish etc to enhance flavours.
• Exercise. Just do it! Check out Lucy Wyndham Read, Growingannanas, Heather Robertson, Caroline Girvan.
• Be active - both mind and body.

I find clothes shopping immensely boring. I keep my weight about 2 stone below what it would be naturally by eating sensibly and exercising a lot. My main motivation is that I cant bear the thought of buying a whole lot of bigger clothes.

Weirdly one of my favourite foods is celery, I get through loads as a snack. Maybe a taste worth cultivating?

My top tip is whenever you want to eat anything which isn't a planned meal, go and clean your teeth instead. Also, nothing but plain water after 6.00 pm.

Try having just one "good" day, then think about how it makes you feel. Do you feel better for having made the effort? Don't binge the next day, just eat normally, then try another "good" day. Reward yourself with some of the money you have saved. A magazine, a new lipstick, a bunch of flowers.

you have to accept it as a war :)
Don't count the battle or how long does it take
Make a plan to win the war and stay the victor
Motivating yourself for who or what? Some do it for vanity, some for men's attention, some for themselves, some for health.

I have to do it for health, flat footed, physical job, asthmatic ....can hardly walk after my shifts

I don't eat a lot. My problem is bread. If I eat even a single slice of bread a day and then have small lunch or no lunch and nice dinner with rice, potatoes and all that, I cannot lose it

With a husband away a lot, YouTube is your friend for free workout videos.

Lots of walking.

Ditch the junk food and swap for fruit, veg, complex carbs, protein etc. Stick to water.

I think LaPalmaLlama has it. Naturally slim people have less need to be motivated, because food is less of a compulsion for them. It's interesting on the Mounjaro threads, that seems to be the common theme. 'I'm just not that bothered by food any more, this is what a naturally slim person must feel like all the time.'

Its the processed crap OP. All the evidence these days is demonstrating that pre-packaged foods wreak havoc with your bodies hunger signals and leave you craving more and its a never ending cycle of processed pastries, chocolate, sausage rolls, crisps etc.
The only way to combat it is to spend a few days eating nothing ultra processed. You can eat as much as you want of other stuff, don't let yourself go hungry, eat plenty of eggs, veg, fruit, simply cooked meat and fish, boiled potatoes, but stay away from shop bought breads and all the crisps, packet cereals and biscuits. You have to break out if the cycle of those foods in your body

All this op. Get the flavour into the lovely non processed foods using fresh and dried herbs, garlic, spices, a fresh squeeze of lemon
Stay away from vegetable oils, refined sugars, jar sauces and sachets of stuff like stir fry sauces full of msg and the like.

It's a vicious cycle. Because when I'm very overweight, I'm always really really hungry.

We have more body to feed, and i get absolutely starving. And I think about food a lot

When I'm thinner I'm less hungry as there is less body to feed.

I find to start to lose weight these days, I try to do intermittent fasting. So I just have to eat less on one day, but then I can eat more the next day.

So you know you have something to look forward to the next day

Try drinking more. Feel like you might want a snack - herbal tea. Feel like you might be peckish - herbal tea. Fancy a bacon sarnie - herbal tea. You get the idea.

You'll spend so much time weeing you won't have a chance to eat 😂

On a serious note, quite often what we think is peckishness can often be thirst. Drinking more is an easy way of filling yourself up and checking whether you are actually hungry or not. Aim for non-caffeinated, so find your drink of choice whether that's herbal tea or water.

I've lost over a stone so far. It's helped me re-train myself to recognise what actually feeling hungry feels like, versus eating for boredom or comfort or because it's there.

Really dull but a calorie counting app, because I have to log it. I love treats too, but a couple of weeks of this seems to be helping. I exercise a lot so am 'allowed' more calories (people say don't eat them back but I'd be ravenous and I still stick to the same overall net calories). I was slim, but crept up to the overweight BMI, because I just really like food!

Intermittent fasting. Try the 16:8

Self discipline, self respect, putting yourself first, looking at your own body and future.
Not easy or pleasant, I know.

It's just building habits. No fad diets, nothing that can lapse, just make being healthy and looking after yourself a part of life forever. Sugar is crazy addictive so once you start building the healthy habits it does become easier and the sugar cravings become much less.

For me as well, I LOVE the gym now and would consider it a hobby rather than a chore. After a while the endorphins you get from exercise become addictive. And in turn you don't want to 'ruin' your fitness by eating shit all the time. I do weight training, no cardio because I hate it, so choose the type of exercise you enjoy. Muscle burns fat so weight training can be just as effective if you like that.

I still have small treats at weekends (a Choclate bar for example), but during the week I try and eat clean - snacking on fruit instead of chocolate etc.

I think you need (as well as following all the good advice already here) to change your mindset. I don't eat large amounts of things I shouldn't be eating because in my mind it is totally, completely, utterly forbidden. You have allowed it to become normal for you - there is nothing inside you saying that you absolutely can't do it. It's just like the gambling example above - it wouldn't even cross my mind to go into a bookie and put a lot of money on a horse because ... I just don't do that. You're in an awful trap, where the abnormal has become normal. You need to make the abnormal seem deeply abnormal to you again. Good luck, OP - it will be tough, but you can do it!

WRT exercise, you need to stop relying on motivation which may or may not turn up on any given day and make it a routine. Come rain or shine at x time on days xyz you do your exercises. Make it achievable, 30 minutes of sweating.

I don't have any additional advice on diet beyond what's been given already!

Out of interest, What antidepressants have you been put on @bleakprewinter ?

Yes, I don’t use motivation, because I’d never do anything. I use routine. Set my alarm, put my exercise clothes out, get up and go to the loo and get changed. Once I’m changed, it’s silly not to work out. Once I start working out, it’s silly not to finish the routine…and so I work out every day. I don’t love it and I really don’t feel any particular motivation first thing in the morning, it’s just what I do. Do you feel motivated to brush your teeth, do the school run, go to work? No, but you do them anyway because it’s what you do. Just build healthy habits the same way. Make them just what you do.

You need to envisage yourself in 20 years.
Atm you have the benefit of young skin, lots of collagen and a firmer body.
It won’t stay like that forever and being slim is a good gift to give yourself. It will benefit you your whole life.

I don’t think slim people are motivated to stay slim it’s just a different way of being unless it’s medication or a medical issue making you fat. I’ve recently lost 10-15kg not sure exactly just by being no longer anemic.

The pastries, sausages and sugary snacks are making you more hungry due to blood sugar spikes and dips. It's not just about Will power. A healthy diet leads to a healthy diet because the cravings are less intense. Also try to get as much sleep as you can. Easier said than done but it makes a big difference to sugar cravings and hunger overall.

Ignore my username. I'm now in the healthy weight range. Perhaps consider the low carb bootcamp starting in October on here.