Fake it till you make it?

[SlimLadySinging]

Not sure where to put this thread (Style and Beauty or Weight loss chat) but decided here might be best suited.

I'm 50, struggled with my weight and self esteem all my life. I also struggling with binge eating and in the past quite severe bulimia. I have spent my life thinking that when I eat better or look better or whatever I will be worthy of taking care of myself.

But I am so miserable. And I'm 12 and a half stone and much happier circa 10 stone. I keep making plans then thinking 'what's the point?' and chucking it all away. Essentially in the past 5 years I have dieted 3 stone on.

Today I thought that I need to change my mindset.Instead of wishing I was 9 stone, what would happen if I just behaved as if I am 9 stone. What would that look like? If I decided to behave as if I dress well and thoughtfully, what would that look like. If I relished exercise of some sort, what would that look like? So I want to try pretending I already look the way I wish to look and just behave as if I am. For me this will mean a heavy focus on a Mediterranean diet, but MUCH smaller portions. A limitation on wine so a single glass enjoyed at dinner rather than my after-I-get-home wine and my -cooking-the-dinner wine and the -supervising the DCs-homework wine.

I want to see if I can change my reality from changing how I think of myself.

That might sound a bit mad- but I've tried everything else out there!

This morning after the school run I had a single egg and mushroom omelette. When I get hungry again I'll try for something small- but I'm not going to eat until I really am hungry. No stressing about it.

If anyone has any tips or stories to share, or just wishes to join me I'd love to hear from you!

I've had extra weight from early 30s, 30+ years later and its substantial. I buy big clothes (from charity shops) but to treat myself mostly by handbags, handbags and jewels (they are size agnostic).

In my family - gatherings are about eating - lovely things in big quantities. Feeding someone is showing love ... so maybe I've transferred that in a warped way to self love. But I'm really happy feeding people.

I've tried various diets and exercise regimes, but slip back into food is a reward, a treat etc etc. May be think yourself thin, act as if you are is a good starter for mindset change!

So lovely to have you here @Hidefromskinnies

That's interesting what you say- for you feeding people is showing love so feeding yourself might be a form of self love. I need to think about that a bit. I also love to show love in food and cooking. But I sometimes use food against myself as punishment- bingeing and purging comes to mind.

This is a new perspective... I need to give it deeper thought because I think you have hit on something very profound here.

I started well, but have eaten way too much dinner and feel a bit full. But I had a very light lunch and then a sort of stirfry. My single glass of wine was poured with a heavy hand.

But new habits and mental approaches might take me a while before they become my new normal.....

Not detracting from your thread, you may like to take a look at this one

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/5112896-how-to-get-motivated-to-be-pretty-again?page=1

Its a great supportive thread and more then one or two have been in your shoes and have shared their journey

Because it is a journey, with every wee improvement comes another.

Dont starve yourself, being hungry during the day will cause you to over eat in the evening. For me Id have had a 3 egg omelette , with half a tub of mushrooms, thrown on some tomatoes, bed of rocket, and a slice of wholemeal. That would keep me going for most of the day so would be looking food again around 2 or 3pm when Id take something filling but again slow release , I'll often have greek yoghurt, muesli and chopped fruit, throw a few seeds or chopped nuts in the mix, or if I know its a very light dinner then Ill take comething like a jacket potato with tuna or beans, sardines on toast etc then have dinner - whatever Im cooking for the family. I eat till Im full, dont finish the plate if fullness comes first

As long as I can keep away from cake, biscuits, crisps and white bread, I can drop a pound a week, maybe more, maybe maintain, but dont gain

Just remember, no matter your size, you deserve to be the best you , so go get the hair done, get the facial, do the nails , it all lifts the mood and how you think of yourself