Mourning Loss of Luscious Body

[PringlesDippedInHoney]

I am 56, 5 foot 1 inch tall and weigh 14 stones. I have had a belly since having my c-section many years ago, but even that hangs in an aesthetically pleasing way. I like the way I look. My body is in proportion (hourglass) so I carry my excess weight well, but it is not about looks. I have reached an age whereby weight loss would be the best option for me in view of age related health conditions which I am more likely to develop due to my weight. I am however starting to mourn the loss of a luscious body, in advance of this happening. My excess weight has gone mostly to the "right " places and very nicely, so I know I am fortunate in this. I have always loved the way my body looks and I love seeing my body. I dress modestly, so this isn't about getting approval from other people. I won't let these feelings stop me from losing weight. I am just wondering if any other women can understand how I feel.

I see larger ladies who look awesome.
large frame, wide shoulders and hips, small waist, big boobs and bum make for wonderful curves. More common in some ethnic groups than others.

I did belly dance as a young woman, and learned to love the rounded parts of my body that I’d despised before.

I also see stunning whisp like women, elfin in their slenderness and height, who would look awful if they were several stone overweight.

Build really matters.

There are some absolutely vile women on MN. Weight loss chat always brings them out. I hope you've not been upset by some of the nasty comments on your thread OP.
Good luck with your weight loss journey. Slow and steady wins the race.

fair enough but you’ve had that body shape you love for years and you can take lots of pictures before you lose weight so you can look back and smile or whatever. maybe even do a glam photo shoot if that’s your thing 🤷‍♀️

Just think of it as moving onto a new season, your health is more important.

Also if you do weight training alongside cardio you may be able to retain some of your shape while losing fat if that makes sense?

I know what you mean OP and it is one reason I don't make much effort to lose weight although I know long term it may prevent future issues. I also have 'banging boobs' and still have a waist and a shape. As I am over 60 too, I think the extra weight keeps me looking younger as plumper skin is normal very wrinkly or haggard. Weights are a great suggestion.

Yes so reading back the thread OP is losing weight for her health and worried about her looks and a load of people came along to discourage her by saying she might look like a wrinkly saggy emaciated lizard and being fat is more attractive. Just checking we reading the same thread

Should say not very wrinkly above

I love that emoji. It gives so much!

And equally many of us just knew people would be along to say you can’t say thin people wrinkle more ( they do) in response to people telling OP she must be delusional if she thinks she looks good. The nasty and personal body shaming comments are only allowed to be made in one direction. 🙄

Health just isn’t the simple equation a lot of people make it out to be. Obviously at the extremes it can impact severely: that is true of morbid slimness every bit as much as morbid obesity. But the statistics through much of the middle ground are far more nuanced than that. I am healthy weight but myself but disagree with this “open season” of insults on the basis of “truth” for heavier people. Just as you taken exception to wrinkly lizard comments ( which are most often true). It can’t all be insults in one direction.

People have given plenty of advice as to what to expect. There have been suggestions of lifting weights, taking it slow and focusing on buying nice outfits which will be easier if she is a standard sizing. But equally people think why not let her embrace the fact she feels she looks “soft and voluptuous “ or “ luscious” as she is. And for all you know she might.

I genuinely can't imagine a 5'1" 14 stone figure looking in any way good. I'd love to see a photo.

But, as you say, weight is not about looks, it's about health.

I'm afraid it's often about looks and that's what most of these unpleasant comments are actually about. So I'm overweight. However I don't drink alcohol, even in small quantities. If I started lecturing people on here who do drink, I'd get short shrift. So I could just as easily say I care way more for my health than someone who regularly drinks alcohol and sound smug and sanctimonious...no one would think this is acceptable for me to say and no one would hold me up as a model of healthy living or say how fantastically healthy I am...

Practically speaking, taking collagen powder may help.

NHS say any protein will do. Some people are convinced it needs to be collagen- and it does seem to do more for my nails that a general high protein diet.

5ft 2 and was 11.5 stone with the BMI beginning to touch the obese line so decided I had to do something ( aged 58 ). I didnt think I was particularly over weight as I was still walking miles, trekking up mountains etc, but obviously was

So 18 months later im down to a healthier 9 stone 2.

Do I have loose skin? well yes a bit, stomach is a wee bit wrinkly, crepe y, not hanging off me or anything. Do I have more wrinkles on my face? I wouldn't say so, neck is a bit slack but I wouldnt say anymore then any other 60 yo who hasnt bothered other the years with remembering sunscreen, moisturising etc

I lost at an average of a 1lb a week, some weeks Id loose a giddy 3lb, other weeks barely half a pound, but Ive kept going , being mindful of what I eat and putting in the steps and Im not gaining again. I think me doing it so slowly has really helped with the possible skin issues, and lets face it there will be some for most who have a lot they want to loose

Im never going to have a great toned figure, cos I wont put the work in for it tbh. I could go to the gym and tone up some but Im too lazy and too busy so my body is what it is

That’s the thing isn’t it.

Well well done suki- and that sounds like really good advice re the going slow .

I've done similar to @suki1964 and lost weight relatively slowly in my mid-fifties. I was not as lucky as you OP to have the weight spread evenly, mine was very much concentrated around the middle, so I think having much of that gone and having better mobility/looking less like a barrel on legs has made me look younger.

I take collagen (might be the protein, might be the collagen) in huge quantities and moisturise a lot and I don't think it's all collapsed in.

The only people who look very thin and wrinkly out of my friends are those who are verging on the low side of a healthy BMI or underweight. Once they have gone more to mid/high healthy weight, they have looked great.

Just lose anything slowly and find new things to value, whether it be increased athleticism, some new clothes.

In terms of health- at 14 stone (88kg) and 5 foot one, that's not 'overweight' or carrying a few extra kg, I'm 5ft 2 and the NHS app says I should be 49 to 62kg to be a healthy weight, and even if you err on the side of wanting to be bigger and in the overweight category for health protective reasons you have a lot of weight to play with prior to that. I'm still overweight technically in the BMI chart but I'm happy with my looks, it's more wanting to keep my heart healthy and muscle mass good that I'm concerned with now.

Who are you to define what looks good?
I actually find many fat people attractive. I am dieting myself now purely for health reasons.

I do agree fat keeps the wrinkles at bay as well, I'm sure mine were better when I was fatter but I also had a double-chin so you win some, you lose some. I'm happy with my body overweight now I look more in proportion (which you already have OP) so it may be if and when you decide to lose for health reasons, it comes off relatively evenly.

I think we get used to our bodies one way and it can be a bit daunting changing that, but you are in control, you don't have to lose weight and you can stop at any point- it's not like it's all going to lurch out of your control and there's nothing you can do.

That last comment is a really good point op. You will see change slowly.

I can sort of relate. I don’t mind being a 16-18 at 5’4”. What I do hate though is over eating, binging, feeling out of control and not being able to stay at the same weight. Historically always gaining or dieting.

i am using MJ and don’t want to be skinny, my face is proportionally slim compared to my body and being plump is helping with ageing and facial wrinkles of which I don’t have hardly any (43).

but ultimately I want to be here as long as possible for my dc and can’t ignore that at my size and particularly with a big tum and history of very high BP in pregnancy I’m putting myself at increased risk of stroke etc if I stay how I am.

id love to settle at a size 14

Don't your knees hurt? Or other parts?
Anyway I am 52, and try to keep my weight under a 24 BMI for entirely health reasons.

If you're 14 stone at 5ft 1 - I think you'd have to lose a LOT of weight before you start looking thin. I wouldn't worry about it.

@Menora is that's all you took from the comments on this thread? You only have an issue with the rude comments about thinner women. The wrinkly lizard comments are equally as vile as the comments about the OP carrying half a forest or the one where the op can't possibly look/think/feel good about herself so must be deluded and have a 'special mirror' etc etc...Do you think it's ok to make disgusting disparaging comments like this to women just because they're fat? Just checking we're reading the same thread?

And actually the wrinkly lizard comment was made by my aunt to describe how she felt after weight loss in her 60’s, so it’s her own observation of how she felt, which after all is what op is wondering about. But go slow op: my aunt was ill and couldn’t halt the weight loss and, as posters have observed, you are in control. There will be a point at which you can best balance your health with a feeling of well-being about looking like yourself.

I think the Kardashian’s trademark big arse is genetic. I have been lifting heavy weights for years and while deadlifts (I can deadlift more than twice my body weight) may have stopped my arse from sagging, it hasn’t got any bigger.